Tips for disengaging
I posted earlier in the week about being disrespected by Full time SS17 and wanting to disengage. I cant stand him, can’t stand being in the same room let alone the same house. I have zero interest in anything to do with him.
He still hasn’t made an effort to apologise to me for his behaviour and attitude on the weekend. He has apologised to his father.
I told my partner I want nothing to do with him anymore but he just brushes it off as me being unreasonable and thinks I should get over it because he has, but he is his son so that may be easier for him.
My partner has a way of implying that I am the problem and his son is perfect.
We have an infant together so SS17 half sibling (yuck).
How can I go about disengaging? I have stopped doing his laundry, cleaning his room. My partner and I do make dinners so in turn have to make his but I no longer plan dinners based on what he will or won’t eat. I do not acknowledge him at all.
I think my partner knows his son needs to do better but because I have had so many issues over the past 18 months with his son & his actions/behaviour I feel I am not being taken seriously and that I should just get over it.
Honestly feel like leaving with Bub and staying somewhere for a few days to get the amount of anger and hurt through to them .
I’m afraid they will not feel the hurt if you disappear
They will just see you as hormonal..
my ss was 17.5 when my daughter was born and almost 19 when our son was born. He is now 22, sd are 25 & 15. Any issues I addressed with hubby to deal with immediately, his kids will apologize to him if they did wrong but never will they address YOU, apologize to YOU!! YOU are invisible and not to be unacknowledged
my husband has yoyo-ed between acknowledging ss and sd's have mental issues like their effed up mum, to "they're not bad and a really good kid" to I'm imagining the worst out of them and they aren't as bad as i make it out to be
then its defending them not launching or making any effective or active efforts to be independent and why is it such a big deal because it doesn't affect me. I have been stuck overseas separated from hubby since 8 months ago, ss finished his university studies in may and 6 months on has been at home and not gotten a job. He sends a handful of resumes then waits. Waits in his room sleeping, playing computer games and eating, thats his life while i am alone and will be for 1.5 yrs minimum with the border caps and flight restrictions raising 2 young kids and putting my life on hold.
resenting my husband and stepkid is an understatement. I'm not slaving it off husbandless and fatherless so his adults can puas through life
you'll find excuse after excuse that never ends. Before its "its not so bad", then its covid fault why things can't change, then it will Be something else. My own husband doesn't get it why i am unhappy with the current set up. I didn't expect to be married 6 yrs in, a single mum raising 2 young kids on my own whilst 2 adult skids piss through life at daddy atm and the expennse of my kids having an active father
Sounds like you've already
Sounds like you've already disengaged as much as you can. Now turn your attention to your marriage and the fact that your husband doesn't care about your needs and feelings. If my DH ever told me just to "get over it" in regard to a major issue in my home, I'd have one foot out the door.
Only cook normally
Do not take him anywhere, no drops off, picks up. No giving him money, no gifts, don't talk to him.
He's 17, write him off if he
He's 17, write him off if he does not earn your engagement with appropriate behavior and adequate performance.
This is not a young child and he can learn quickly if he is choosing between the homeless camp and supporting himself.