Having difficulty with stepson...
I moved in with my boyfriend who I am completely in love with... After a long abusive relationship that was my last marriage, I'm so happy to be with this man.
The first few months living here felt great, until I began to realize the severity of the behavior of my boyfriend's son. He is 4 years old. All he does is scream, command angrily and... Simply lives angrily. If he doesn't get his way, he is very aggressive and yells until his father gives in. His behavior gives me anxiety and after everything I've already been through, I just want to live in a calm, not hostile environment. He often tells my kids he wishes they'd leave, gets mad if they even look at him. I bought some expensive things for the household with my boyfriend and if anyone else wants to use them, he throws raging fits. He play fights very aggresively, hits, yells and swears regularly. I'm growing very tired of him telling my son that he is an idiot.
My boyfriend has had issues with my son as well, he feels that he is overly sensitive and whiney. Which I understand and we are working on it. But I think this is fairly normal behavior for a five year old.. needless to say, I don't love it either and want to work to improve this behaviour as well.
I see no light at the end of the tunnel with his son.. I see very minimal change and often his behaviour is rewarded because his father gives up and hands him what he wants out of exhaustion. I get it, it's hard. But it's solidifying for his son that it's okay how he acts. It's frustrating to me as well, that his son will act out all day and if my son whines a couple times through out the day, my boyfriend gets mad at my son! Doesn't express anger towards his own even when he acts much worse!
I'm not sure what can be done to change any of this but I'm seriously considering getting my own place. It will be hard to afford, but I think it may be best for my mental health. I'm so stressed because I'm taking care of my own two basically on my own and working a full-time job. I have no energy for my own kids anymore and constantly feel depressed. I don't want to be without my boyfriend. I love him so so much, but I just don't know if I can do this. He said he is open to the idea of living separately, but very clearly doesn't want to and has convinced me multiple times not to leave.
What would you do? Get your own place? It must be for the best, no? Maybe when our children are older we can manage better in the same house?