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they treat DH like crap....

buckeyemama's picture

So I met this terrific guy about 8 years ago, we got married. My then 10 year old son and 12 and 13 year old daughters loved him, he was terrific to them. His girls were already grown... we moved to the state they were in around June of 2009... they treat him like a bank and me like the nanny... what can I do besides disengaging? I have tried to be friendly with them, but I end up getting used. I was not there for their growing up years and he was driving a truck, but he always sent child support.
The oldest one has 4 kids, he adores them, but we are limited on contact with grandkids. I tried being friendly with the BM also, that did not work when I would not bad mouth my DH with her. I told her that we married 2 different men because my DH was not the man she was describing. It is basically BM's show though, what she says goes... any advice?

hereiam's picture

My first thought is to ignore them and focus on your relationship with your DH. It seems as though you want everyone to be a happy family but if they are not willing to meet you in the middle......

Don't let yourself be used and disrespected to be accepted. It's so not worth it.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Disengage from them because you are not their nanny. As long as you do it they will take advantage of it.

Let them be in relationship to how they treat your husband as it is HIS problem and his to deal with. I know how you are probably seathing when they treat him poorly, I do the same, but I have learned to keep my mouth shut as it is his problem. I found that when I did this and took myself out of the equation, DH had to face what his daughter was. He has his good days in dealing with her, but lately has told her off a few times as well.

Since they are already limiting your contact with the grandchildren, it is time for you to stop being available to babysit, nanny, etc. Tell them something along that you would have liked to but you have other plans for that time but you would love to see the children XXXX day. If they haven't got time to do that, well just let them be.

Don't waste a lot of time, life and love on people that don't or can't return it.