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STEP grandma issues

buckeyemama's picture

Submitted by buckeyemama on Thu, 06/06/2013 - 10:12pm

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Adult Stepchildren

I am a step grandma, but I claim them as my OWN. That being said, I want to know should I have to call SD30 to ask how they are doing, if they get awards, have ball games, etc? Their dad calls them and they rarely return his calls. I am just the 'idiot who married their sperm donor' to them (other SD is 25, no kids, SD 30 has 4 boys ages 7,3, 20mos and 5 mos and is single parent). We only get calls, usually me, when a nanny is needed. I got close to 3 year old, but once he got potty trained the "real" grandma will babysit him along with the 7 year old. I want to see all 4. I want my DH to be able to see all 4.. He is a truck driver and if I babysit all week while he is gone, they won't return calls for him to see them when he is home on weekend... DH gives SD30 money for gas, diapers, etc and tells other SD25 he don't have it, and tells my kids, 21 and 18 "you have a job"... to me they all 4 have a job.... anyways, any advice would be appreciated greatly on how to deal with this mess....?

Newimprvmodel's picture

Submitted by Newimprvmodel on Thu, 06/06/2013 - 10:22pm

No matter that you see them as your own, they do not recognize you... You do have your own children. Focus your energies on them.. Life is too short to waste on people who treat us badly, and want nothing from us other than our money or skills as sitters..

paul_in_utah's picture

Submitted by paul_in_utah on Fri, 06/07/2013 - 9:01am

Couldn't have said it better myself. You can be damn sure if my skids ever spawn, I will not be babysitting or spending money on thankless step-grandkids.

paul_in_utah's picture

Submitted by paul_in_utah on Fri, 06/07/2013 - 9:12am

I don't think that my SS is gay, but he might be "asexual." To the best of my knowledge, he still has not lost his kissing virginity, and he is almost 23 years old.

vizallygirl's picture

Submitted by vizallygirl on Fri, 06/07/2013 - 1:04pm

i find it so hard not to do for my step granddaughter but i've come to the conclusion... my kids better have some grandkids soon... well, not really i really want them to wait unlike my SD21 with a 2yr old and another on the way... guess i raised them right..

doingitforlove's picture

Submitted by doingitforlove on Mon, 06/10/2013 - 12:40pm

I don't find it hard to NOT do anything for the grandchild now. Anything I bought was tossed. Babysat for million hours changing diapers and trying to pacify a difficult baby. Has grown into a mostly grumpy toddler, cries for no reason (not getting her way). Instead of dealing with the temper tantrum or crying spell, they cater to her. Toddler's mother refuses to speak to me. So.....I don't waste my time now; which is what was happening before.

doingitforlove's picture

Submitted by doingitforlove on Mon, 06/10/2013 - 2:05pm

Ha! Your DH sounds like he has boundaries and balls....
Thank you for your post, I just found my lost words - I will not babysit or be around children I can't discipline....because I have NO say in anything, and what, I'm supposed to be around a child that is making messes and throwing tantrums?