Now SD wants DH to babysit next weekend - ie. spend the weekend
So after the invitation to dadee to go on vacation alone (ie. without me and our BS) with her DH and 3 kids, DH was also angry / hurt with SD and did not call her back all week. During that same conversation a week ago, she also mentioned needing DH to babysit and stay overnight this weekend.
Yesterday, he decided to call her back - never had a chance to get into a conversation with her as I and my girlfriend just walked in the door and he didn't bother talking to SD at all. I think it is because he didn't want to risk me eavesdropping, but he said it was just because this friend was here too. I said he could have left the room and FINISH the conversation. Whatever, I think he will bow down and kiss her ass and doesn't want me to know it. His anger must be weakening already. Hasn't spoken to his angel in 6 days.
Anyway, I didn't say too much except to tell him he should have finished his conversation and left the room to do so. A short while later our BS was in a little bit of trouble and we told him we are not rewarding his bad behaviour by driving him to go snowboarding, so he had to stay home.
I took this opportunity to tell DH, speaking of rewarding bad behaviour, I don't think you should be doing SD any favours this soon after her rude behaviour. I don't think he should go babysit - it is 2 hours away so he would have to stay over. He said yes but I want to see my grandkids 
I said yes, that is the most tragic fall-out from all of this. It is too bad she didn't think about that before.
I feel a bit betrayed by his even thinking of doing this - it doesn't feel like he is standing up for me after all.
Even though he is not going on the trip, this is almost like not missing a beat and everything gets swept under the rug again. Except now it is back to even more secrecy and lies.
I really feel down and mistrustful of DH again. I guess I should have known but there was a glimmer of hope and I grabbed it.
He is still a weak spineless idiot and I either have to live with it or ship out.
what if you tell him that you
what if you tell him that you want to go with him? maybe then SD wont want him to babysit if she knows you coming is part of the deal?
Is it possible to bring the
Is it possible to bring the gkids to your house? Or you don't want to do that? Have her displace herself and bring the kids to you?
Tell dh to take bs over to
Tell dh to take bs over to spend the night and visit with his family members. Week ends are a great time to get together with friends or your own family members to go listen to a local band,dance,enjoy a meal out. Encourage them to both go. Assume they will have a good time considering the situation. It is not often young mom's get the night child free, husband free, or responsibility free. Go out and enjoy yourself.
My DH goes at least weekly,
My DH goes at least weekly, if not more, to visit his GS who lives 5 minutes away. I have never gone, nor been asked to go, since the fallout last year over his daughter. Do I like it? No. Do I feel betrayed? Sometimes. But if he didn't go, what would that change? His GS wouldn't know him. My DH would be miserable because he's over the moon about the little guy. We would likely be divorced within months because he would resent me trying to keep him away from GS. Yes, he has kissed SDs ass to be able to see his GS and that royally pisses me off and is the part that makes me feel betrayed.
I say all of this to say, my advice is do not stir this pot. In the long run, his relationship with his Gkids is different from his relationship with SD. Short term, yes, he will have to kiss her ass to see them, but would punishing the GKs by having no relationship with grandpa make you feel good about what's going on with SD? Unfortunately, it is helping her out by him babysitting but the bigger focus is the kids. Don't let your hate for her confuse what's best for the kids.
That makes sense. I just
That makes sense. I just think it is, too soon to start kissing her ass. It would do her good to squirm for a while, not have daddee come running.
she is very calculating. she won't flip out on him, she will whine about how she had to do it because I make her uncomfortable now. She is, good at twisting things around, a seasoned Narcissist.
Believe me, I understand.
Believe me, I understand. Mine is also a seasoned narcissist. It's scary how manipulative she is and I fell for it a lot before I got a clue! Given what happened it probably is too soon, but I stand by my comment above. Please let us know what happens.
I agree with StepAside.
I agree with StepAside. Whatever your DH does, he does. You cannot make him do what you want and to continue to try is what you are battling over. Just don't let her into your house. That is your territory and after her treatment of you staying in your home should not be an option.