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How to grow a thicker skin?

EnglishRose17's picture

...or show i dont care?.
Sorry Rant!!! It was my birthday a few days ago, i had a lovely day & put a nice pic of me & S/O on my facebook...lo & behold, a day later, SD 25 has changed her pic to a close up one of her & her dad on her wedding day, with sickly comments etc. I know its childish, and i should just ignore the whole facebook thing as shes only doing it to get at me, and have all the comments/feedback from family & friends...Bear in mind she hasnt even had a wedding pic of her & her hubby up. Of course SO just says "dont worry, she doesnt mean anything by it" ...yeah right!!
How do you stop the stomach churning negative vibe towards them that makes you want to rip their heads of their shoulders lol, i am trying to disengage somewhat, but then i get all stressed out & sucked into knowing how petty & destructive she is. She constantly leaves stuff on her dads wall etc, so even not being "friends" i see everything...
How can i rise above it all, anyone got any tips?.

darky's picture

I know how you feel, and sorry am trying to find a way to disengage myself. I think some people have the wrong personality type to be a step parent, just wish I knew before I took the plunge and then involved kids. It's hard when things seem petty but you know its all just to annoy you, especially from a 25 year old. Good luck!

EnglishRose17's picture

Lol, just being able to hang out with like minded folk on here helps....im telling myself its petty & incredibly childish, and make sure my friends know how pathetic she is..thing is, im sure even if nobody dare say it to her, most of her family & friends think shes a fruit loop too Smile
And she must get herself so tied up knowing that im not walking away from her dad, and that it me she has to accept..her dads told her he wont exclude me from his house if she wants him to have her kid, so thats gotta hurt lol & at some point she wants him to have the kid overnight...its gonna kill her lol lol....

EnglishRose17's picture

Oh lordy Augusta, i can so relate to that..not getting an acknowledgement on birthdays, christmas etc, and how about a card to my SO from SD that quotes shania twain Lyrics.."youre still the one i run too, the one i want to kiss goodnight"!!!.. All my friends call her the pitiful witch...
Im glad im not the only person trying to keep a grip on things :?

EnglishRose17's picture

ah i have grey hairs and wine..and luckily through the forum am finding the ability to laugh at her actions...its the fact the SO/DH dont seem to see how it winds us up, beacuse they dont have the same capacity for either over-analysing or reaading between the lines...We are female, we KNOW exactly what the conniving little twits are up too, its just their dads dont unless its spelt out and then we are the ones "making it into a big deal"...
Like i say i hold onto the fact that i must really really frustrate her, and that she has to accept me, or doesnt have her son staying over at her dads, either way lose lose situation for her, and boy can i be great with toddlers when i neeed to be...cant wait for the opportunity to paint her a picture or bake cakes with him lol, cos her dad will think its sooo sweet }:) mwwwahahahahaha!!!!

bi's picture

laugh at her. she's clearly jealous of you. she isnt' even smart enough to try to hide it, she's making it blazingly obvious. that would have me rolling on the floor! Biggrin

Poodle's picture

The question is, would you tolerate this from a BF who had another female friend? If it would put you off the BF with another fan/rival, it should put you off this guy. If it does not, then fine but you need to know you will never lose this thorn in your side. Is it worth 40/60 more years of this? When another man could come without this baggage? You will never lose this spite from your life as long as you stay with him, is the spite worth it?

Lisar92's picture

This is my first post and my first experiance with stepchildren or should I say step adults. My DH has 2 adult children that have just come back in his life. He has not seen them in 14 years due to his ex keeping the kids from him. I am happy for him because I know he has missed them so much.

BUT since they have came into our life our marriage has suffered. They come over everyday and call every 5 minutes when they are not there. We never have time for us anymore and he will not say anything to them about it. His son is not so bad other then he tends to come over late at night and he does have his own life to a point. The daughter on the other hand is very needy and spoiled she has to be the center of his attention at all times she manipultes him by crying when he does or says things she does not like. She comes over and lays on my husband sits on his lap

Poodle's picture

If an adult woman sits on your husband's lap he either asks her to stop or else he is a consenting participant in sexual behaviour. He might have an excuse for not asking her to stop if she were 15 and had only just met him again, because that would b evidence of a disturbed and upset teenager who needed help. You would get her off, but gently. Here we have an adult who is effectively a stranger to him. If I were you I would dump him immediately. He is not capable of normal behaviour with women.