Long story... hoping to be made short (sure i am missing out lots of detail)

Met my dh 9 years ago. He was in the process of a divorce to his "over and over again cheating slut wife". he had a 15 yr d and a 17 yr s. My sons were 13 & 16. His ex had moved out of their home over 1 and half yr prior to have "space". after about a yr he filed for divorce and she was fine with that until he met someone else... ME. He wanted nothing to do with her since he tried to make things work for over 2 years after finding out she had numerous affairs (over 17 yrs married)... this time got caught. Well eventually after much crazy stuff and probably almost 2 yrs later they were divorced.... There was a fight about the house.. she wanted it.. he wanted it (he fixed it up from a dump). during the time til the divorce he lived there and had court papers against her to keep her away... quess what she kept coming any time she wanted and he didnt have the backbone to call the cops. Well i am thinking i opened his eyes and he let her have the house because she would always think of it as their home and she would always come and go. (she is like that.. she has no boundries.... and no one ever sets and keeps them) .. and didnt get much settelment from her...he just wanted gone. Thats the history there. Well ss is ok with me... joined military...married... own life... no plans to come back except to visit... keeps neutral with both parents (even though his mom is the one to ruin his parents marriage) I am ok with that.. now the sd on the other hand has hated me since day one... she is trouble except in the eyes of her father.. for some reason i think she thinks i kept her mom and dad from reuniting..... NEWS FLASH... her mother is a slut (and still is one but she would never admit it) MOM is the reason...not me and i met him many months after he filed for the divorce.... his kids got into drugs (heroin) the reason son joined the military.. he knew his life would go to crap... his daugher had kids to a guy she met in rehab..(wanted him just long enough to have babies) Well fast forward...we married 3 1/2 yrs ago. I was thinking sd liked me. .. we became ok with each other until about 2 yrs ago she very bluntly told me she hated me and always had. never respected me, never will. about 1 yr ago me and dh find out sd is back on durgs(actually never stopped using she really had us fooled although dh lives in denial when not in denial enables her) she now has a son to this same guy... she was with him long enough to get preg and booted him again... so u and i keep her on welfare. Well fast forward again til almost 10 mo ago. sd was turned into c&y. she never responded.. lots of things happened in a very short time and c&y took the kids and placed them in foster care. (I just graduated from LPN school and lost my father the very same day I graduated. I was pretty much living a drift when all this happened) well anyway c&y ask us if we would take sd kids cause they had no home to place all 3 kids and keep them together. well we did.... the kids r great... but all hell has broken loose... his sd is such a liar not to mention long time thief. SD living in denial that there was reason to have her kids taken in the first place... her mother is no help... keeps her financially now since she lost her welfare since has no kids. Sd was ok with us having the kids.. better than somewhere split up. my sd treats me so bad... has no respect for me.... lies so bad. When she talks to my dh she always has to tell him how much she cant stand me and how much she hates me. she feels that i am the reason she still hasnt gotten her kids back.... when i find out things about her and her durg use.... i DO report it..... her drug use and addiction has gone on long enough and its about time she cleans up (although she says she is clean... yeah right.. abuses her drug therapy now... soboxone.. her drug of choice now.. it would be fine if she would take it as prescribed but for some reason people in this area shoot it up???? I just do not get it) I am sure that c&y do not go by my word alone... but she thinks they do... the thing that hurts me the most is the my dh tells me i should just keep my mouth shut and say nothing to c&y. "some things are just better left unsaid". well i am sorry but these kids deserve better and need someone to look out for them. I do not want to raise these kids (not sure if I would if it comes down to that... unsure???) I am not trying to make him choose me or sd... she never has to like me and/or respect me... its not about me or her.. it is about these kids and my dh just dont get it... I feel so disrespected by him for allowing her to do and say aweful things about me while i am taking 99% care of her 3 young children... his grandkids. I just do not get it how she can HATE me and disrespect me so bad but yet trust me with her kids.... I would have NEVER wanted my kids around someone I had no respect for. I deep down inside think she is doing this knowing it will ruin our marriage... and so far so good... so her slut mommy and blind daddy can get back together (actually her mother thinks that GOD will see they get back together some day) Well I pray to GOD that even if i do RUN away after these kids are back home... I did not marry a fool that would do that. I know this is lots to even take in but HELP... I am at the end of my wits end... I cannot take this disrespect anymore..... (if my kids were to say and treat dh this way... i'd tell my kids to get a life bye bye til u grow up) HELP