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House deeds

Flustered's picture

My DH and I owned 2 homes. We redid wills before he died &  put one daughter holding life estate on each to protect house. **However, my BD is buying the one she lives in and when I updated will after he died, our Lawyer took him off that deed and put BD  on with me.( When she has to eventually do the estate, it's then simply hers.)**. SD is on this house I live in and I have NO intent to remove my DH , so she is basically " invisible" / we are on deed & tax bills, not her. ( dead spouses don't need to be removed/ mother of SD was on deed 12 years after death until we married and DH changed it and put me on/ SD still / almost 25 years later hates me for it). She has to sell this and split $$$ with my BD, her SS. She hates that/ neither want this house. ( My BD is my executor. ) Tax bills came out today and SD had my sister-in-law call to ask me if my DH is off both houses. I said no and left it there. I know she will look it up on town tax bills ( it's open info and it will be visible one changed, not the other)  just to see, but I figure she'll call to ask why this doesn't have her BD off and her on ( the lawyer said leave it as is).  If she does, I'm just saying " the lawyer did the deeds ". That's the truth. Considering BD is buying her house, she should be on deed. I'm waiting for a fight ( she's always ready for one)/ trying to be nice here and keep things as wills for DH & I had...keep it civil... and I am. This deed is only change/ due to it being a purchase, not giving.

when she calls to bitch, do I tell her to F herself or ignore her or send her to lawyer? Best option ? 
 

Yesterdays's picture

Everything at this point needs to go through the lawyer only. I agree with above. Divert her to the lawyer then block her. All correspondence can go through legal channels. It will avoid that "back and forth" with her. You don't need to hear her complains and questions. Which is why you should go this route.

ESMOD's picture

I would provide her with the simple answer that your daughter is PAYING for the other house.. so she is on the deed.  

SteppedOff's picture

The next step in the process should be to remove her greedy person from everything Smile and keep your sister in law at a respectful distance. That is all.

Flustered's picture

My SIL is great. I would never block her from my life. She and my DH were sibs " joined at the hip" so to speak. She is just as pissed at my SD as I am/ that was a warning call she gave me. 

I have yet to hear whining from SD. The lawyer knows what she is like/ SD  threw a hissy fit in the office as will was read. She expected half of everything and that was not in the wills.

At lawyers suggestion, I got the security system changed and got new deadbolt locks. 
she will get nothing else until I'm gone unless it is some item specifically left to her by her father. She has to call a few days before for a time. I told her that. Still a few things to get picked up. 

ndc's picture

I'm not understanding. You gave each daughter a life estate in a house? Wouldn't that show up on title? And entitle each to live in her respective house for her lifetime? Or are you using the term to mean something else? In any event I'd ignore. Does SD call you/have a relationship with you?  Or would she call only about the house? If only about the house, block her or simply don't answer. What about SIL? Why is she asking questions on behalf of SD? If she's not part of your life except to do SD's bidding, cut her out too.

Flustered's picture

We rewrote wills , six months before my husband died. We weren't expecting him to die. It was a shock however, I'm glad we did the wills because. The ones we had from 20years before weren't working. Our lawyer is an estate attorney, who teaches estate law. A life estate allows me to live in either house until both of us were gone. It protects the principal/estate. Surviving spouse has to sign for either house to be sold //until there is no surviving spouse, at that point my bio daughter is the executor of my estate. Then she just goes to the lawyer and 100% deals with the lawyer

ndc's picture

Oh, I get It  - YOU have the life estate in the houses and SD has the remainder interest in one house. Or do both SD and DD hold the remainder interest? Just wondering because I thought you said SD has to split proceeds with DD.

notarelative's picture

Your SD and SIL are most likely to never accept what DH did. You and DH discussed this. You (together) went to a lawyer and put what you had decided in legal documents. It's time to stop discussing this and refer questions to the lawyer.

CajunMom's picture

The life you and your DH made. Do things as the will says and try not to worry about greedy outsiders. My response would simply be, the attorney handled everything. Please call him so he can explain it to you. 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I have two older siblings, bottomfeeders. I've had no relationship with them for decades. When I had to finalize some business with them concerning my mother's estate, I had my attorney handle all of it. Never saw them, never spoke with them. That's what attorneys are for - to handle matters and provide a layer of insulation. I'd start referring all matters to him/her.

What is your relationship with your SIL like? Why is she being a winged monkey for SD?

ESMOD's picture

I guess her POV is that the home you are living in was her father's (and mother's) before he married you.. and to her it "feels" like it is unfair that your DD would get the balance of whatever is owed on the home she is buying forgiven.. while she will have to split anything that is derived from the sale of the 2nd home "in her mind.. dad's home which she feels should follow to her).

So, depending upon what is unpaid by your DD.. the difference could be large or very small.

If your DD has almost paid off the home by that time? it will be a minimal difference.. but if it happens when she still owes a big chunk?  it could appear to be a bit unequitable.

I am not saying that you are obligated to make things equal.. or do anything in particular with your own property.. but that is how it could look to her.

For example.. your home you live in could be sold for 400,000

Your daughter still owes 150,000 at the time of your passing.

SD ends up with 200K and DD ends up with benefit of 350K... that's a pretty big difference.

If you had any idea of wanting to make it "equal".. you could have the balance owed on the home she is buying factored into what each would get from the sale..

400 plus 150 would be 550.. each would then get half that value.. your SD would get $275K of the proceeds of your house sale.  Your daughter would get 150$ of loan forgiveness and $125K of the sale of the house meaning each would get "the same" value.  

But.. you aren't obligated to do that.. so unless you feel some obligation to live to what your husband would have wanted to happen (which may or may not have meant equality in bequeath).. but since he is gone.. you have no legal obligation to do what he wanted if it wasn't set up that way prior to his death.

Flustered's picture

You are correct it is solely her POV that this was her parents house originally that she has the entitled feeling that it should be 100% hers once I'm gone/it's not for the "having the house "it's for getting all of the money. That is not the way her father and I wanted it because neither girl wants this house to live in. Bluntly I don't want the house/I hate the house but I just feel like I don't want to move because it was my husband's house and I feel like he's here. Since both houses are paid off and my daughter only owes me around $35,000 on hers which she will pay Within the next five years, I do not anticipate anything other than me turning over the deed on that house 100% to my own BD. The only reason that that is in her name and my name is because we held the mortgage and the mortgage is now paid off. The mortgage has been paid off on this house for over 25 years. FWIW, I live in a very low-cost area that is rather rural and neither house is worth over $200,000 and both are nice small ranches. There Will be equity between this; One house will be entirely purchased, and the second one will be sold and the money split. FWIW, I put as much money into this house in renovation, and paying the last 2 years of the mortgage and paying for taxes for 20 some odd years that I put in as much as my husband did.( His first wife put in Zip zero nada because the woman never worked/that would be the BM to my SD.) it's simply silly to be house poor by going, and buying a nice large ranch that I would watch and having a mortgage on it. Then there would be some thing for the two of them to fight over and I don't want any fighting either. SD suggested that I find an apartment and sell this and I told her at the very least rent for a nice new two bedroom apartment Would be over $2000/ mo Right now? All of my taxes are under $4000 a year and I just pay to maintain my utilities and maintenance - substantially less than $24,000 rent that apartment would be. You should have seen how fast she dumped that idea. Me staying in the house versus me renting? If I were to sell this house, the house profits would be  = about six years rent for the kind of apartment I would watch, and then I would be dipping into savings ....not on your life I don't like being house poor

notarelative's picture

Deeds --- dead spouses don't need to be removed.

Be careful with this if you live in a different area than the original poster. I did the paperwork and removed my first husband from the deed after his death. When I sold the house there was no problem. My friend did not change the deed. When she tried to sell the house, she could not until the paperwork for the deed was done. It held up the closing. It would have been so much easier if she had done it after his death. 

Flustered's picture

I have no intention of moving. My husband bought this house over 50 years ago. I have lived here almost 25 //the other house? My biodaughter Is buying it from me but it  is still a life estate and should she want to leave that house? I can keep the house.