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Anxiety/Panic lasting all day long?

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I guess I forgot to ask this in my last forum on health issues caused by stress.

Does anyone or has anyone ever suffered anxiety and panic that lasts from a short while to all day long? The anxiety and panic being very physical?

I have days where panic will just be a short while, I take my medication and I am fine. Other days it will last almost all day long. I have off balance feelings too with it which make it hard for me to drive or go places by myself. I never fall over but I feel like I am going to and its enough to scare me. Like in my last forum, I have had a HUGE doctor work up and its anxiety and panic. My immune system was compromised with a disease at the time when I went into a nervous breakdown ending me in the ER. Now I am left with this debilitating anxiety. I never had this in my life until 2 years ago when it all hit suddenly.

I also think I might have a bit of PTSD as symptoms flare up when I think about SD19 or see things that remind me of her.

Just wondering if its normal to have these last all day?

I am trying so hard to get my life back together while being disengaged from SD19. Starting my workout tapes tonight. Went grocery shopping, bought healthier food. I am not worried about weight just wanting to feel better. I miss my old self before this all happened so bad.

I see my doctor on the 23rd as I want to figure out a new plan on "operation get my life back together"

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Thank you! Most definitely I will send you a message sometime soon. I haven't met anyone either that had it last all day at times. Even my doctor would give me a puzzled look!

I have the breathing thing, and the impending fear of dying, fear that something is wrong medically when its not. Like if I am having the physical anxiety then I tend to think the doctors must have missed something. Its horrible. Brings me to the floor sometimes and I just lay there. Sometimes I will take myself to the chiropractor because for some reason it provides me some relief. I am on Xanax .25mg 3x a day. I tried 4 different drugs for it and they all did not react right for me so my doctor is keeping me on Xanax but monitoring me because its the only one that works for me.

My panic is unpredictable, it shows up when it wants and my body goes right into that fight or flight mode. One thing I do know is when ever I drive I get it. I am able to overcome it now during driving but I do not drive outside of my town unless someone is with me to take over if need be. I hate this. during this time off balance issues will kick in. The only conclusion I can come up with the car, off balance and panic happening is because I had a disease (babesiosis-coinfection of lymes) and didn't know it but went into this mental breakdown state (thought it was a stroke) and all this happened while I was in my car alone. So I think psychologically it messed me up and made me scared to drive which totally sucks because I used to love driving. One of the main reasons I was a cop for a while was because I knew I could drive my whole shift hahah. That is how much I used to love driving. Glad I am not in that profession anymore as I would suck at it now with the driving issues.
I will definitely shoot you a message this week.

chickadee1444's picture

If you are having trouble driving and going out on your own, it is called AGORAPHOBIA..( Latin meaning )Agora ( market) phobia (fear) hence fear of the market place. I suffered for years, living with an abuser and then an alcoholic.I've been on Clonazapam for years..its' the only medication that helps me.I've had to many drug reaction and the pills never worked anyway.Thinking positive thoughts ( if you can turn your brain off) helped me and getting rid of the problem that triggered the panic in the firt place.PTSD can be a part of it also.

Since my marriage to my current husband and horrible problems with his almost 50 year old daughter, I have been having minor attacks..I hope you can overcome this is crippling..good luck hun..keep in helps to talk to like-minded people Smile

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Thank you and YES it is so nice to chat with people who know what I am going through and understand it, and to have the wonderful advice. Yes I do believe I have some agoraphobia with it. I however had a day today where I had no anxiety while driving out of town. first time in 2 years! I am so happy. I hope I have more days like this. I am working on it, trying to put my life back together. Thank you for reaching out Smile

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Oh no!!! I am 36. I am still getting my monthly visitor though. I think this was due to massive stress with Sd19 that lasted 4 years. That summer that I got the tick borne disease was also the WORST time ever with SD19 so my doctor thinks I had a nervous breakdown. I just cant kick the anxiety. If this is pre menopause, will it go away once menopause has started?

PS I do have the rage too! But it is only rage when I have to think of SD19 or when I had to deal with her. Havent had much rage in the last month since I don't speak to her anymore. Only anger/rage will come out if I allow myself to obsess about it.

SugarSpice's picture

stress anxiety and panic can all come from what you are describing. not all you describe can be attributed from just aging. i think the sd factor is a huge part of the cause.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I am on Xanax too and they do seem to be getting better symptom wise but I don't have the disease with it either anymore so its just the anxiety and panic symptoms that are very physical. I know what you mean about not leaving the house at times. I am at that phase. Hoping it goes away. I want my old life back. Just to feel normal, well my normal.

Bojangles's picture

I doubt it's on the scale that you are experiencing because I don't take medication, but I do have bouts of anxiety which last from a few hours to a couple of days. I think it dates from the birth of my second child when I was 36. I had never suffered from any kind of anxiety or depression up until that point but after his birth I had post natal depression, and also after my third child. After the post natal depression had abated I gradually realised that there is at least one point every month when I feel noticeably anxious and stressed, it normally lasts a day, so for me I think it is connected to my monthly cycle. I have started tracking it on an app on my phone so I can try to be more aware of when it is going to happen. I also have a couple of relaxation apps which are sometimes helpful.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

That had to have been hard on you to get it after the birth of your baby and go through that. I had my last one at 33 and did fine. The birth was even fine. I know mine stems from what SD19 put me through for 4 years. I was so strong through out the first couple years of it but then that summer it hit me hard plus I had that disease at the time too that really messed things up. I am 36 now. I hate having to deal with this when it lasts all day and like you I have had it last for days on end. I think it does get a bit worse around my cycle thought too.

Ugh to be a woman huh?!

Thank you for taking the time to respond.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Thank you and yes lots of symptoms of adrenal fatigue. Going to work more at educating myself that is why I made the doctor appointment too. Now being disengaged from my SD19, I really want to focus on getting my life back together, not just for myself but for my girls. They are 8 and 3. I just want to be the fun mom for them like I was for my SD's while they grew up. I feel kinda bad, they got the fun healthy me and my own children got the unhealthy, sick, and not so fun me. Working really hard at fixing that though. My kids aren't deprived, they have a good life, I just want to give them more of my time and fun.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Yes I just recently had a full blood work up for the 4th time in 2 years. Had many, many tests. Funny you bring up the vitamin D thing, I was just reading something on this. I plan to get some to take daily. I wonder if that will help out too in my recovery. I hope there is a recovery. 2 years have been long enough.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I had no idea a person could get their vitamin D levels checked. I think I will have her check mine when I see her on the 23rd. I am very interested to know.

Thank you for the information.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I am so sorry to hear that your issues are mostly with your DH. My DH is generally there for me. I get that shaky hands and total panic when I hear from my SD19 in any form of communication. I cant even text back when she used to text me, I would shake so bad. Couldn't even hold my self up, had to lay on the floor to speak to her. Just the fear of her maybe wanting to try to be back in DH and my life again brings on all the symptoms too.

emotionaly beat up's picture

The mention of het name used to send my back into the most painful spasm that would see me fall to my knees if I didn't have something to grab onto and lower myself down. Dear God those were such terrible dark days. I still have that fear, always will, but it passes through me now. It doesn't take me down and it doesn't leave me drained. It does get to a place you can manage it. Just takes time.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Exactly what you said is what happens to me on falling to my knees. I am slowly getting better but that's only because she doesn't contact me, I am sure when or if and hopefully she wont contact me I will fall again. I cant wait to get to the point where it gets easier.

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me! I was even in an abusive relationship before my DH and I still think what SD19 put me through is much worse.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I am so incredibly sorry that you have to feel that way with your DH. That has to be much worse then what I deal with considering mine is a SD who has moved out and I don't have to let back into my home. I will keep you in my prayers. No one deserves what you are going through. Sad

Sunflower1's picture

Mine build for days and have lasted all day as well. It wipes me out when it happens, fortunately I take buspirone now and don't get them as often.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I am hoping I get to the point where they don't happen so frequently. Cant wait to go to my Dr. Apt and figure out what to do next to get this to stop. So far I cant take sertraline, it caused bradycardia and I ended up in the ER, Mertazapine lowest dose knocked me out for 24 hours, hubby took me in and made me stop that one, Zoloft and lorazopan made me fill with rage and buspirone, I hated the way I felt on it. So far the only thing has been Xanax for me, this is why my doctor lets me take it 3x a day. I want to wean though and get better.

Sunflower1's picture

Buspirone made me feel off for the first week, my doctor asked me to give it some time, which I did. After the first week I didn't feel off any more. I don't know how long you were on it but maybe it would be worth a shot again. Good luck.

emotionaly beat up's picture

As stupid as this may sound, firstly, yes the all day and even waking up through the night anxiety happens more that we realise. Try adding to your medical regime, breathing slowly and deeply into a brown paper bag.

Also, just keep an eye on the anxiety about becoming anxious. Sometimes when we start to feel okay, we start stressing about the next time it will happen. In the good moments, try to push the worry about the next attack out of your mind and just enjoy the moment. 5 good minutes are better than nothing at all. So make the most of them.

It will pass, but it does take time. Most traumas take a couple of years for you to learn to live with. But PTSD will always have it's triggers. Over time, the symptoms will become easier and easier to handle. Just try to live in the moment more. Take it one day, one morning at a time. Whatever you can manage. Don't put added pressure on yourself. As I said, be glad of 5 minutes and appreciate that, eventually 5 will become 10 and so on.

Rest assured it will not always be like this. But do become aware of your breathing. Make sure you take nice, slow deep breaths whenever you think about it. This also helps prevent infection.

Oh, and don't put a time frame on this, you don't need the pressure.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Thank you for the great advice Smile I will do my best to focus on my breathing, maybe that will make me quit thinking that I am dying of something.

Oh lord, I went through the medical anxiety where I thought and was sure the doctors missed something. I even told my DH what I wanted at my funeral, who I wanted to take my children if something also happened to him. Oh boy those days were so hard. I now know I am not dying but the fact that it lead that deep into the anxiety and panic, I can NEVER forgive her for that and I know the man upstairs would want me to forgive but I can't. God can do the forgiving, he is made to do that but I am not, I am only human and I will not let toxic SD ever hurt me again as long as I can prevent it.

Thank you for all your advice.

jennaspace's picture

Agreed. Staying away from people who are toxic to me has been very healing for my anxiety. I already discussed xanax so I won't touch too much on that.

Not sure about anxiety all day. I certainly had it a lot and maybe all day at times. Especially around the holidays with lots of step family events. I remember the feeling of walking around with a tight stomach and a plastic smile. I guess our bodies reflect what's going on around us even when our mind tries to shut it out.

Prayer (lots from my DH), removing myself from toxic people, stopping the xanax and a previous bout with Lexapro (for anxiety, not so much depression in my case) all helped. I don't get anxiety much these days. When I do it's usually related to my monthly, caffeine or sugar. Caffeine esp. Sugar and caffeine in the morning is a sure way for me to get that awful angry/anxious combo where I feel I'm going to go through the roof.

Low carb diets result in low serotonin levels which have also brought on anxiety for me too.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

I love everything you said, and I will not let her in my life again. Ever! I am done. She hurt me way too bad in so many ways and it reflected on my own children. I let that bitch have the best step mom (basically main mom) ever, she had a wonderful life and a wonderful step mom who gave her the world. I was fun and healthy with her and its my bio's that have to deal with the short tempered, not as much fun mom who is unhealthy.

I am doing all I can to give my girls the BEST mom they could want. Thank goodness they are big hearted and good little girls and they love me. I just feel so sorry they had to see me sick like that. They do have a good life its just I feel I was a better parent to the SDs and find that unfair.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Beaccountabke, I think your right. I had a physical reaction to my husbands daughter. Still fear her ever attempting to come back into my life via my husband. Everyone is clear that, that will never happen, but I still have the fear. After two years of course it is not a debilitating fear, but it will always be inside of me. To this day a bleached blonde,with her hair do, especially one with a ponytail swinging off the side of her head gives me a physical reaction in my gut. It just passes through, doesn't linger on like it did, but it's there. There is good reason for this i am sure.

I have referred to this girl on here as the evil one, or spawn of Satan. Not to be flippant or disrespectful to her, but because she is the first person I have come across in my life that is truly evil. Now, I've dealt with some hateful, wicked, nasty and spiteful people, none of whom did I fear like this one. My body physically cannot be near her. There has to be something in that. I am 61, not a kid, have life experience, went into this prepared to like her, she was my husbands daughter. Sure she treated me badly, but there is something more than that going on to cause me the fear.

Her boyfriend once told my husband he was afraid of what this woman would do to me her hatred was so great. My husband of course flipped it off. That only served to confirm the fear I already had in my gut, a fear that was there years before her boyfriend brought this up. I used to wonder how terrified he must have been, how real the threat, for him to come here alone and tell us this.

sandye21's picture

EBU, I too fear one day I will come home from shopping, open the door and there will be SD via my DH. I have firmly resolved that if that happens I will tell her to leave or call the police if she doesn't leave. If DH objects, I will tell him to go with her. There is absolutely no way I will place myself in 'doormat' status again.

emotionaly beat up's picture

My sentiments exactly Sandy. No more chances, no more doormat. I know in my heart and mind that I will never hav her in my life again. But the fear of dh having one more go at it because "she's my daughter you know" bullshit, is still there. I know she has no shame, it will be a year on the 11 th of next month since she hung up in his ear, and hasn't spoken to him since. But I know she is shameless, I know she is cruel, I know that she could pick up that phone anytime she felt like it and ring dh to guilt him, to demand something, because I am your daughter, you owe me" whatever. I'm not 100% sure dh would let her back in, because he is well aware he would be out with her, but I know he'd want to try. The uncertainty is the nagging fear that I have. Will it happen, when?

I know she wants me dead. She is the smiling assassin. I know she herself wouldn't do anything. She wouldn't be prepared to do the time. But I also know that she has always dictated to her brother and his partner how their son, dhs oldest grandchild would be raised. She runs their home too. I haven't seen that child since he was 11, he would be 16 next January i think, but he was wild then. If trouble is coming I feel it will be through him, she could get him to do anything.

If you met dh you'd think butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, you would never believe such hate, vindictiveness and desire for vengeance could come from the fruit of his loins. They are all feral white trash. All three of his kids. Dumb as dog shit (let's get my medical training from a TV drama) dirty white trash. This from a man who loves things to be clean and tidy, is well presented, likes to be seen as always doing the right thing. I know now why he lies to everyone, especially his family about his kids, why he refuses to tell his family the truth about his daughter, his constant defence of all their wrong doings and dishonesty. He knows what they are, he is ashamed of them, he is protecting himself as a father. Throwing them to the wolves really because of his selfishness, and putting me at risk. So no more. I will do my best to protect myself, whatever it takes, and I will never have anything to do with his family ever again.

sandye21's picture

Your DH lies about his family because it is a reflection on him. Yes, I am fearful of my DH bringing her into our home but one thing I have on my side: SD is a narcissist to the extreme. This means she will never admit that her nasty behavior was uncalled for. She does not have the capacity to feel remorse. As a rule, we do not have any discussions about SD but every once in a while I ask if she has any remorse for what she did (and what he was witness to). He always replies, "No." And my answer is always, "Then she will not be allowed in our home." I have made it clear, she is not allowed in our home until he can, in my presence, inform her that she is to repect me as his wife and in our home. This must occur BEFORE she will ever enter the house, it's not negotiable.

chickadee1444's picture

Nice to know I am not the only one going through this crap ...A Peace Bond was the only way to keep husbands D away from me, not an easy thing to get in Ontario, has to be proven , but I got a very sympathetic JP who agreed that SD was physically and mentally abusing me..forced to live in a shelter was helpful too..but, like you say..she thinks she is right, this poor excuse for a human being feels no remorse..I will never speak to her again as long as I live for the anguish she put me through.She does not speak to her father at all because he finally took my part.Very peaceful for now ( except for her 20 year old daughter who thinks her mother did no wrong) I worry what will happen come next June when the year is up:(

sunrisegazer's picture

I've been dealing with anxiety every day since SD25 told DH that she wants to move back in with us. DH immediately gave her the green light because she's his "baby girl" and also because the family members that she's currently living with want her O.U.T. and she's "got nowhere else to go".

Did I mention that it won't be just her but also her 2.5 year old wild, undisciplined, monster of a kid??!?

The anxiety does not at all help my BP. I'm 6 months postpartum and my doctor is trying to wean me off my meds. (I had pregnancy-induced hypertension). I can probably be kissing the weaning good-bye as ill most likely still need to continue taking the meds and probably at a stronger dose too. SD makes my blood boil!!!

sandye21's picture

Do NOT allow SD to live in your home. You should not be requitred to take care of an infant plus SD and her kid. Why can't she go on assistance?

sunrisegazer's picture

SD does qualify for all kinds of assistance but is just too lazy to do the paperwork and complete the process. Trust me, we've encouraged her many, many times about it...Had a wonderful caseworker assigned to her but SD get blowing the lady off & ignoring her calls, not showing up for appts, etc.. SD is like that when it comes to many things in her life...

AlreadyGone's picture

When you have anxiety all day, it is said that you suffer from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder.)

In my early 20's I lost my best friend in a horrific accident and while it seemed like I was dealing with it, I obviously wasn't. Within 2 months of this loss, I began having panic attacks. Out of the blue and for no apparent reason. After a few of these, I ended up with GAD. Basically what that means is, your body (every organ, every bodily system) is so full of adrenalin that you end of with this free floating anxiety that stays with you on a constant basis. If you're like me and have actual panic attacks on top of this, (I could have 3-4 panic attacks in one single day) it ups the amount of adrenalin in your system which fires off the body to do some pretty wicked things, which then fires off more panic and more adrenalin. The key to overcoming it, is to find a way to burn off the unused adrenalin OR find a way to control the attacks. Once you get to where you're having daily floods of adrenalin, it can take months for your body to rid itself of this excess adrenalin. Many times, the strange things that arenalin does to your body will create more anxiety that leads to more adrenalin. Nasty catch 22 there. I had auditory and visual hallucinations, feelings of being outside of my body (feelings of unreality) a host of physical ailments... heart fluttering, tight chest, inability to breathe normally, a feeling of my throat closing up, etc. My gosh, I was a total mess.

My doctor put me on Trazodone and Xanax. Trazodone for depression, sleep disturbances (I only slept 4 hours per day and only in the wee hours of the morning)and to regulate the chemicals in my brain that adrenalin had screwed up. The Xanax was for the panic. I didn't stay on that long b/c it made me feel more depressed than I actually was. I did keep a few for those times when I had to be somewhere and I had no escape, lol.

Agoraphobia (as it relates to panic disorder) happens b/c of the fear that one will have an attack while out in public and people will think you're crazy.(Loss of control.) There are alot of 'what if's' in GAD. You will have to teach yourself not to fall victim to the dreaded 'what if's.' This means reteaching your brain to focus on something other than the impending doom that creeps into your mind. For basic grocery shopping trips, I would count the packages of gum x 3's at the register while waiting. Waiting in that line was always the most difficult part of shopping for me. I just wanted to get my stuff and get the hell out of there. Driving was difficult b/c I would be somewhere I had been a million times before and somehow feel totally lost, like nothing was familiar. I would panic and then that flood would create even more arenalin which meant more panic attacks.

A neighbor brought me over a book, I still have it to this day. I used to call it my anxiety bible, lol. It is an OLD book but, I think you can find it on Amazon. It's called "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes. As soon as I opened it and read those first few lines, I started crying b/c it was like it was written specifically for me. It describes so many of the weird things that arenalin does to your body. Things that will make you think you are suffering some horrendous disease that the Dr's. are missing. Things that make you feel like you're losing your mind. It also gives you exercises that help to deal with the flood of adrenalin. It's done in layman's terms and is great at explaining the why's behind anxiety. I have loaned my book out to numerous people who have all felt better after reading it, (including my therapist from back then.)

You can conquer this. You have to have faith and be patient. Sometimes a difficult thing when dealing with anxiety, I know. Wink

Best wishes to you.

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

OMG so much of what you said does sound like me! I will check amazon for that book. Thank you so much for all that you wrote. I will take any help that I can get. I hate what I am going through.

When I went through cognitive behavioral therapy with a counselor, that was my diagnosis GAD. I do get agoraphobic at times too. I really hate the panic and the off balance feelings I get while driving. I know I am driving just fine, I have had my DH follow me and watch me and even a good friend of mine who is a cop watch me drive and I am doing fine but I feel I am not. I feel I am totally freaking out and that I am going to die. I hate. It.

I need to read that book and I will. I also need to do what others on here tell me to do on not letting toxic SD19 in my life ever again as long as she is toxic. One thing I have learned is that it does not matter if its family or friends, toxic people need to be removed. She is my big trigger to all of this. Just the mere site of her will trigger it. That is why I often wonder if there is some PTSD with it too.

Again, thank you!

AlreadyGone's picture

I hope the book gives you a sense of peace and reconciliation within yourself. Please let me know if it helps, even a little. I'm sure you do have some form of PTSD and as others have said, eliminating toxic people from your life is truly beneficial. I mean, if it was cancer, you'd get it cut out to survive, right? No difference here. Wink

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

Hi there....I posted on your other forum "has stress(step life) affected your health negatively".
I too have suffered panic attacks all day...mine was unfortunately due to the Mirena IUD but BM and her kids definitely enhanced the panic in me....I am not sure if there really is a cure to get rid of anxiety.. I was on 25mg of Zoloft earlier this year but it did nothing for me.
Apparently to get rid of anxiety, we have to reframe things in our minds, change our thought processes and inject fun back into our lives....sometimes you have to embrace the attack and say "Hey Im ready for you to attack me again, go ahead...try"

Whenever SO brings up BM(which isn't often) but man when he sets me off with her only concern is money, always needing more...I don't mind helping out, as contradictory as that maybe but this is her only concern for updating...I need more money. She has said a few things about me, which set me off...and perhaps fuels the rage and the anxiety. I don't want to see her, Im disengaging from her toxicity...we got into it last night, that I made the mistake by saying when SS turns 18 I don't want you to f-ing talk to her again...(anxiety can make you controlling if that makes sense?)

The key to a stress free life, as some have mentioned here, is getting rid of the toxic waste. Your SD is toxic, she causes you much grief....stop letting her control your thoughts and start lowering your expectations of her(right now unfortunately she isn't going to change), that way she cant disappoint you...because you already knew what she was going to do...F-UP.
You will get over anxiety, I don't think there is a cure for it...sometimes we are genetically predisposed or we are too modest...I typically think those of us that are more givers tend to suffer the most anxiety.

The reason I say there is no cure is, I don't think there is a magic pill that makes it go away.I think it is changing our thought patterns positively, she took away time in your head too much(which BM did for me so don't worry) and start reclaiming your time with your daughters. Make up for what you lost, read a few self help books anything to help you get back to the way you were...the good news is, you were panic free once before, so you know you can be panic free again!

F her, if she wants to be a bad person..let her, the onerous is on her not you!

You will get better, just let time heal! And you are definitely not a lone!

AlreadyGone's picture

I think there is a cure but, you're right, it won't be found with a magic pill. The pills are merely a tool to help while you rebuild that bridge back to yourself. The pills let me sleep at a time when I was unable to, and believe it or not, sleep is the one thing that the body needs to help to heal itself. The rest comes with hard work, time, and learning how to redirect those anxious feelings into something more positive. Removing the toxins that create such strife is a MUST.

I also agree that some are predisposed and for a variety of reasons (the book I suggested hits on those too.)

Self help books, breathing exercises (I love the floating one, lol) and journaling all helped me free myself of the anxiety. I still have times during high stress situations where I can feel the anxiety building but, it doesn't take me down like it once did. I recognize it for what it is and don't allow it to reel me back in. I think that just takes practice.

All the best to you.