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how much respect is really deserved?

starfish1012's picture

:?

so i have been reading forums on here for awhile and have never commented. i am the SM in a situation that i haven't seen on here. the SK was removed from SM for abuse. i have now had him in my custody just as long as she had him from birth to removal. SM has supervised visitation.
when SK came to my and BF's home, i took care of him through his withdrawals of drugs she put in his system, among other unimaginable things. SK and my relationship is beyond good and i love him more than i ever thought i could. i am the mother-figure that society knows (doc, dentist, school, etc), yet i receive nothing but snide comments and non-payment of child support. BM treats me like an intruder and a bug that is in need of squashing. she even snaps when i inquire about child support payments that aren't made for months a time--she says things like "my child is not a paycheck" and "i never asked for your help"--classy things like that.
i gently try to remind her that i and BF didn't ask her to create a drug-addicted child with obvious behavior issues either but it's gotten so nasty that i can't even attend court hearings on the matter. i'd just really like some advice or feedback from you fabulous SMs and BMs out there...

Anon2009's picture

I would honestly try to be around BM as little as possible. I would let your partner do the communicating with BM regarding child support via email. In fact, I think he should do most of the communicating with BM via email, barring emergencies, because emails can be saved, printed off, and used in court.

I'm really sorry you have to go through this. Are SKs getting counseling?

shouldIrun's picture

Instead of BM paying CS directly or constantly hounding her (as you know she won't keep paying) I would file documents with Family Support Division. Family support can have the CS taken from her paycheck automatically and sent to you. I am not sure the State you live in but I would check into it. Especially as the child is living with you and your providing all his needs. Keep record of all expenses. I know you love and care for your sk but absent parents need to be held accountable. I used to work for the Dpt. Of Child support this why I'm saying to get their assistance. There is no charge. Good luck. Your a good parent.