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kindergarten checkup

starfish1012's picture


So as part of our agreement, my DH and I must inform his ex (SS5's BM) when a doctor's visit approaches. Today, I did just that--I called and left a message on BM's voicemail.

---->BM lost custody two years ago due to child abuse, neglect, and endangerment, along with several drug charges.

She responded to my voicemail by text saying, "I got your message and would like to come to the doctor as well. Let me know if that's alright."

My first response is HELL NO, but I can't decide what the appropriate response. It will be me, not DH taking SS5 to the doc and I'm worried about the confusion of SS5 between two mother figures and her constant vying for SS5's attention. If I don't let her come, I'm worries she will write the court and say we're not upholding our end of the deal. Cause she's all-around unpleasant and vindictive.

So, what should we say?


starfish1012's picture

basiscally, we have full physical and legal custody, but because she has not "terminated her parental rights", we have to inform her of medical decisions and the such (though she has no say). the scary part is, she just recently wrote the court to ask for joint physical custody. court is in october. joint physical custody, however, won't give her the right to be there, just more right to be in the know.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

I say you just inform her of what the dr says. She doesn't have to be there for that. There shouldn't be any medical decisions made at an appointment like this, right?

herewegoagain's picture

I love the courts...idiot BM was supposed to do JUST that...she has yet to even tell my DH her pathetic daughter was even pregnant!