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Change in BM living situation

valstreet11's picture

dh and I were in court last October for change in custody. Since 2008 we had ss every weekend and Wednesday overnight. When ss turned 9 we gave up wed and 1 weekend due to ss getting older. We live approx 25 miles from mom but different school district. At the time BM was living with husband and ss half sister for past 5 years. BM has always been incredibly difficult and majorly hypocritical. On weekend we gave up she would send ss to grandparents every weekend. When court hearing was over we were given same schedule with a mortgage sized child support payment each month. This is due to mother and stepfather being college graduates but neither work full time job, meanwhile my husband works 60 hour weeks. Since October hearing, BM has separated from husband and lives in subsidizing housing and works 3 days waitressing. She already has new boyfriend who she tells ss is her personal trainer, lol. BM has ss m thru fri afternoon. Ss stays with grandparents on tues and thurs and sat one weekend out of month. We have ask BM to allow ss to live with us and go to school with us where ss stepsister and half brother, but she refuses even though she's not with ss more than 3 days a weeks and her parents are majorly helping raise ss. My question is does anyone know what chances are of us getting full physical custody and our home is more stable. Do judges even care that BM has men coming in and out of child's life. My husband spent a lot of money over years on attorneys for custody and is always shot down so he's opposed to going back unless we have a good chance at winning. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance!

Orange County Ca's picture

So the kid is 14 now?

A reasonable judge would see the kid is never with mom anyway. But my experience with family court is that nobody walks away satisfied. If the kid is 13 or 14 most judges would take the kids wants into consideration assuming the kid wants to live with Dad.

Your husband can eliminate attorney fees by taking the formats his attorney used last time, get the blank forms from the county clerk and type them up himself. I did that several times using strangers filings. Today I'd bet the blanks are available on-line and maybe even some sample ones filled in.

If he's a good reader he can pull it off. Judges are sympathetic towards people who can't afford an attorney as they want justice to be obtainable to all not just the wealthy.

valstreet11's picture

Thanks so much for your reply! He's actually 10 now. From 2008 to late 2012 we had him every weekend. In oct 2013 the new schedule was finalized in court. We were ok with this arrangement as we felt it was in his sons best interest to be in same place through the week and get to spend one weekend of unstructured time with mom. We soon realized that he was actually with grandparents more and that it wasn't so stable over there especially with new boyfriend already. We pay a huge amount in child support mainly due to moms unwillingness to work. Even though she gets 700 a month and barely has ss he still qualifies for free lunch and has supplemental Medicare coverage. Seems crazy to me. Big problem is that there is a lot of parental alienation going on at moms house since ss was 4 and he is always angry at dh and fiercely loyal to BM.

onthefence2's picture

If it were me, I would attempt it without an attorney. He will only have the court fee to deal with, and he will have more control over the outcome. An attorney speaking for him is bs, almost always. If he loses, he hasn't lost a lot of money. I would do it now, as the next 8 years are going to make it or break it for his son. My son is almost 13 and OMG he turned into a turd around age 10. They need a stable environment to stay on the right path.

valstreet11's picture

Thank you onthefence2. I think we are going to try the no attorney route. He actually had his worse years from about 6 to 8. But yes the teenage years are upon us.