WHY is SS so needy/clingy for DH??
SS13 has ALOT of Annoying/Disrespectful behaviors That would take me half a day to explain all of them. Now I could live with most If SS13 was the "normal" teen who spent most free time with friends or in his room. Nope not so lucky. From the time SS comes over( which is almost a 50/50 split) he is either up DH ass or planting his ass in the main area of the house. NEVER and I mean NEVER hangs out in his room.
When SS gets up in the morning if DH is NOT in plan sight he wonders around asking/looking for him. When SS finds him he ALWAYS goes over and gives him a big hug and makes "happy Squealing noises". Remember SS is 13 not 5.
SS if not being entertained by DH SS finds his own entertainment which is chasing/wrestling the dogs through the house till I can't stand it and beg DH to entertain SS. SS has no clue what inside voice is and the weird high pitched animal Squeal SS makes when he's Excited is highly irritating to say the least.
SS is NOT like this at BM house and NO BM does not have rules or more strict. SS will Actually hang out in his room at BM house but won't go near his room till bedtime. SS has a tv and Xbox in his room at our house something he Does NOT have at BM.
WHY is SS so clingy needy with DH but not like this with BM???
SS is more clingy with DH
SS is more clingy with DH than BM because he feels more insecure with his dad. Telling him sternly to back off won't do the trick. It'll just ramp up his anxiety and make him cling harder. It could be because of DH's past actions. Or BM is whispering in his ear.
I once complained that my DD2 isn't all that attached to me because she was happy to run off and entertain herself and the response I got was that she was actually very well attached. She trusts that I'll be right where she left me and if I do leave, I'll definitely come back and get her. For whatever reason, your SS doesn't have that trust in DH.
Hmmm you could be right
SS13 loves BM as much as DH BUT not as clingy. When BM went away for two weeks on a business trip SS seemed to not care. When DH and I went away for ONE WEEK for our anniversary SS13 cried before we went and told DH he wanted DH to call him every other day. SS13 will hug DH for no reason though out the day. When SS goes to bed at our house he refuses to go to bed before DH and wants DH to tuck him in.
I agree SS maybe Insecure about his relationship with DH but not sure why
A 13 yr old should not be
A 13 yr old should not be constantly entertained by a parent. Evil3 said it right with :
"Your SS will not grow out of it. Your DH needs to address it. Too often, dads of stage 5 clingers don't want to address it because it's uncomfortable. These dads are usually the conflict-avoidants who don't want to do anything uncomfortable so they'd rather allow their kid to grow up totally fucked up than to be uncomfortable themselves."
Same here!!! SS11 idolizes
Same here!!! SS11 idolizes his dad, very clingy, totally up his dad's butt and can't entertain himself. It's weird.
Same with SD12 it makes me
Same with SD12 it makes me want to puke.
i now have to leave the room when she is here as I can't take it anymore.
I feel you
As i was reading your post i was semi relieved to be honest. I thought i was the only one that was experiencing this. My SS11 acts like a 5 year old. There are times i will come inside from work and he, who has already been at home with my partner will ask, "where's daddy?"...like idk dude. Or first thing in the morning...i dont get a good morning, i get a "where's daddy?" It's like i am a household concierge just tending to the needs of my VIP SS lol
My SS was like that
... at 12, when I met him, due to living with a NPD GUBM who infantilized SS so he'd be a blathering, obese, lying, lazy, inappropriate verbally & hygienically, dependent amusement all his life.
SS would literally freak out about imagined sh*t, in public. Me & DH worked hard for years to stop that sh*t. SS now works full-time in a trade where none of the men are going to tolerate any b.s. It's perfect real-world example of everything we had to prep SS for, and proof that even the laziest jerk can grow up when not coddled & allowed to remain dependent.