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Why would a kid be more clingy toward one parent

Crazystepmom12's picture

Say kid loves both parents 

Say kid gets to see both parents a lot. Maybe not Equal but still a lot.

Say problem is getting worse not better as the kid gets older

So why would a kids be needy/clingy to one parent but not so much the other?

 As I stated before SS13 is VERY clingy needy towards DH. Unfortunately he's NOT like this with BM. SS gets SUPER temper tantrum crying if he has to miss any daddy time Especially if it's due to DH fault. When DH and I go away for a week ONCE A YEAR it's major meltdown crying but BM can go away for a week and SS if happy if SS gets to stay with DH. Yes SS spends more time with BM BUT not by much. SS loves BM just as much as he loves DH so that's not it either. 
 

Thoughts?
 

 

Kes's picture

Not really much point in trying to figure out why, is there?  -  maybe because your DH permits it, and colludes with it.  He needs to discourage this behaviour firmly, since it is not appropriate in a 13 yr old. 

shamds's picture

who were alienated by bio mum and brainwashed by her lies about daddy and me, even ceased contact for 5.5 years and then mid 2018 re-initiated contact with hubby.

Any meets out for lunch or say family events like weddings abd they are glued to hubby. Even after lunch they walk side by side with hubby pushing the stroller with our little ones and i am expected to walk behind. We are in our room early hours of the morning and eldest sd is banging it like a crazy banshee daddy dadddy daddddeeeeee!!!

its like at family events especially they stay next to hubby to avoid conversations with hubby’s family who are polite asking how they’ve been etc... they just laugh awkwardly and give 1 word sentences if possible and then hubbys family wonder why they even bothered coming if they don’t want to socialise with anyone.

even when i came on those family meets or events like engagements, i would chat with inlaws and mingle but rarely would i get a seat next to hubby if the miniwives were right next to him. Don’t even get me started on their new thing to dress in goth black colors. Its like they need to mourn my and my kids presence and existence.

they’re asians and their culture is full of colour and you go to a wedding everyone is dressed nice and they come in depressing black and dressed in crap wear when we are all in our sunday best and they’re in raggedly type clothes... hubby doesn’t say a word!! 

But he knows exactly these reasons are why i do not want to be around them... they kill the mood. There is nothing attractive about a 14.5 & 24.5 yr old glued to hubbys hips as miniwives and ranting non stop about bio mum and stepdad.

so if hubby asks me if i wanna go to blah blah blah and he was thinking about inviting sd’s. I simply ask him the moment they start their interrogation reporting of bio mum and stepdad to show their relevance, is hubby gonna warn them before hand there will be no talks about bio mum or stepdad during our meets, tell them to shut the eff up or they will be dropped off at the train station the came from? This shuts hubby up quickly!

if i were in a car and sd’s started their talk of bio mum and stepdad and this is useless unimportant shit nobody give a flying eff of like what they did where they went blah blah blah.... i would tell hubby can he stop this nonsense right now. Bio mum and stepdad is not our family and its really disrespectful to not respect their privacy but instead report useless unimportant uninteresting crap on a woman he divorced 11.5 yrs ago... but we all know sd’s would report that shit to bio mum and she’d be frigging losing it

tog redux's picture

SS was like this with BM but not with DH. He would sit on her lap at his soccer games when he was 12.

BM encouraged and enjoyed his dependency and unhealthy attachment to her. DH encouraged him to be independent.

It's a sign of an unhealthy relationship between your DH and SS. DH may enjoy his clinginess and think it's because he loves him more or because DH is such a good parent.