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Opinions please. SS is driving me crazy with his needy behavior

LoriDean81's picture

SS is 12 years old and has a older sister who does not come over(another story). DH shares joint Custody with BM and almost 50/50 visitation. It seems the older SS gets the more needy/clingy he gets for DH BUT only when he’s over to our house. Let me explain...Ever year DH and I take ONE week long vacation where DH will miss two parenting days. Every year DH dreads bringing it up as SS has a melt down crying over not seeing “daddy” for a week. But every year BM takes SS on vacation for a week and SS does  not bat a eye. Also VERY occasionally DH will have to work a few hours on a parenting day and SS will drive me nuts asking how much longer till “daddy” gets home. When DH finally gets home SS will come running to him yelling “DADDY” like he has not seen him in months. SS will then follow DH around clinging to him talking non stop the rest of the day. Remember SS is 12 not 5. So Fing annoying Especially if I want to talk to DH. 

Now here comes the weird part. Once SS leave our house and goes back to BM’s it’s like he forgets about DH. Before SS got a phone he would call SS on BM’s house phone and SS would NEVER return the call. When asked SS said BM never told him DH called. We brought that intill SS got his own cell phone. Not only does SS never call or even texts DH but 90 percent of the time won’t return DH calls or texts. For kid who gets so bent out of shape if daddy has to work or takes one vacation once a year without him you would thing he would be calling/texting non stop. 

So what’s up with this behavior AND more importantly how do I prevent good old daddy from getting manipulated and guilted by this kid?


Notup4it's picture

He wants the relationship on HIS terms.... he gets it from his mom.  When DH is chasing him.... great!!! If DH isn’t chasing him he needs to put on a show. 

I don’t think there is really much you can do but ignore it and disengage as much as possible for your own sanity- let this be DH’s problem.  

Thisisnotus's picture

My SD 11 is the exact same. Literally on his lap or holding his hand....then once she goes back to BM never returns calls or texts.

She literally follows him around the house like a puppy he has to shut the door on her to use the bathroom and she just waits.

Just J's picture

What is with these step kids who wait outside the bathroom door for daaaadeeee? It's insane how many posters have that issue. My two bio kids have never done that, it's just nuts that sooooo many step kids do it!

Thisisnotus's picture

I am guessing that the kids who do this also have other similar behaviors.

Between us we have 5 kids that are 11 and up.....and anytime we go ANYWHERE...the mall, an amusement park, water name it.... All the kids except the bathroom stalker (SD11) go off by themselves and have fun for a little bit....this kid will just NOT leave DH's side. But like I said....she could also go a month without seeing him or talking to him and not even care.

LoriDean81's picture

SS can go away to camp or spend a full week with bio hag and we won’t even get a text. BUT once he steps foot through our door SS is up DH ass 24/7 and also will stand out side the bathroom waiting for daddy. I think it’s a form of manipulation. SS wants to be the consent center of attention and expects DH to be the center of attention for SS and god forbid he’s not. BUT once back to BM’s the little brat can’t even be bothered to call DH back. It’s not like SS has a active social life. He’s such a brat he has no friends