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update and a question.

MamaFox's picture

Papa Fox called BM tonight and directly asked to have her email him with proof that she was diagnosed BPD. Turns out that's actually legit. Good to know. He chatted for awhile with the boys and they all seem fine, but the oldest did say BM and her husband are verbally fighting a lot. And then he asked me if I could email him new books and we had a bit of a chat about the three marketeers. *warm fuzziness*

So, my question now is, knowing there is unrest in BM's marriage and that she is out to be shitty to her husband, and he is crazy jealous of Papa Fox, is this a good time to push for a visit with the kids?

Side story about her crazy husband, he does his best to ALWAYS one up Papa Fox, and usually fails. Even the oldest has commented about it. Papa Fox bought a new harley, crazy ass went out and got a shitty dirt bike. Papa Fox got new riding leathers, crazy ass went out bought a bomber jacket from goodwill (according to SS 14). He brags constantly to anyone who listens that he stole Papa Fox's wife and kids because he is the better man and father. So anytime Papa Fox has tried to see his sons, something always comes up.

The kids have only been in BM'S custody for 2 1/2 almost three years now, because Papa Fox left Oklahoma for a year (known in advance to BM and their lawyers) to help his Father expand his maple syrup business, and that's when crazy ass ran to court with BM and filied for abandonment of the boys. Crazy ass runs BM when she's taking her meds for BPD, she goes damn near totally submissive (according to BM).

So now that she's good and mad, is it time for us to push?

MamaFox's picture

He does. They flat out don't listen to the CO. Dh is supposed to call 3 times a week and get eow, but that literally never happens. He has been so sacred to push the issue, afraid of...well everything. If DH finds out their address, they move again. They have moved 7 times in two years. If the boys call him on an off day, crazy ass changes the phone numbers. I understand He is afraid to press charges or go bAck to court, he is terrified crazy ass will do something to the kids.

Since I have been with him, thankfully, my sister worked in family court so she has been able to give us a lot of advice, and I'm having him and his lawyer jump on the current situation. Crazy has had everyone so cowed to him, I am NOT fucking having that anymore. Papa Fox has really manned up with me around.

MamaFox's picture

Basically he is afraid if he pushes again, they will move out of state or *insert random mentally abusive something here*. His fear is almost ptsd like. Until I came around he was just doing anything to placate Crazy Ass.

Rags's picture

Time for PapaFox to grow some sack. If he has a CO and does not exercise his rights then that is just pure cowardice IMHO.

The only way to deal with a toxic blended family opposition is to crush them when they so much as twitch out of alignment with the CO. Time for PF to go get his kids on his CO'd days. PERIOD!! Every time those kids are not available he needs to file a contempt motion against BM. EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

When his children are not available to speak to him on the phone per the CO ... CONTEMPT MOTION!!!!!

Never, ever allow BM to deviate from the CO. EVER!!!! Until PapaFox grows some balls he will remain a victim of his toxic crazy assed XW and the kids will see that their father is no man at all but a sack-less wonder.

We tried to be reasonable with my SS's Sperm Idiot, Sperm Grandma and the Sperm Clan. However when we gave an inch they pushed, and pushed and pushed for a mile. Eventually we figured out that the rules meant nothing to them and the only thing they understood is pain. So we brought the pain which trained them to STFU, do what the CO said and not to ever test us.

Your blended family opposition will learn the same lesson if PapaFox will find his balls.

PapaFox is obviously a good provider and loving father. However, IMHO, he is missing the key element that will make him a truly good father. He must exert his rights and set the example to his children that he will not allow their toxic BM or their weasel Step Father to interfere or in any way manipulate his time with his children. He must set the example for them of what a man is to the people he loves. He must demonstrate that his marriage is his priority and his children are his primary responsibility.

My wife and I busted our asses to set an example for our son (my SS-21) for the entire duration of the CO that went in to effect when he was 1yo and did not expire until he turned 18. We pursued our educations, demonstrated what a committed loving marriage is, and we had his back when his Sperm Clan gave him crap about having to pay CS on him,for having nice things when the three younger also out of wedlock Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas did not, etc.... Setting the example for our son of what a real father and family are is the thing I am most proud of.

PapaFox is close to getting it all right as a father IMHO. All that it will take for him to get there is to roll up the CO, put his other hand between his legs and grab a big ole handful of man sack and smack the piss of BM with the CO each and every time she interferes with his relationship with his children. You have a big role to play in this. You have the opportunity to demonstrate what a strong woman, wife and mother figure is to your SSs.

All IMHO of course.

Good luck.