Typical male behavior?

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I am so fed up lately with my DH. Hes not lazy by any means, however he just got back from being out of town for work training for three weeks and I was super excited he was coming home and I'd have help again and he has not been. He was sick over the weekend with a cold which he was a big baby about. I guess i have no sympathy bcuz i was sick for three days when he was gone and still managed to care for my son and his daughter. Anyway, he had yesterday and today off and hes better and he really hasn't done much at all. He has a long long list of things he needs to get done around the house that I can't do like fixing a few things and such and yesterday he slept till noon and then played video games. He did fold one load of laundry i didn't get to and made dinner but i feel like I would have gotten a lot more done if i was home alone all day. Then today he is home and I called him this morning and hes playing video games. He even had the nerve to text me this afternoon saying theres no veggies for dinner when there clearly is in the fridge and hes home and im at work. Then text me to make sure I was picking up my son which I feel would have been nice if he offered since hes home and the weather is crazy right now but whatever. He's been slightly mean since hes been home too since he quit smoking last week and takes almost everything I say the wrong way. I don't even want to go home and speak to him I'm just annoyed with him. Is it typical for your DH for his day off to be his day off yet he expects you to do so much? I've been alone with my son since he was born until this last year and did just fine alone and got everything done with the two of us but now keeping up with cleaning, cooking, etc for a family of four with little of his help is getting to me. Sometimes I feel like he takes advantage of me since he too was a single parents for 8 plus years and did all the cooking and cleaning and laundry but now i do it almost all the time. I'm exhausted. Am I just overwhelmed right now? Is this normal to feel this way? Idk what to do because right now im so tired and annoyed i just want to run and hide.

I have tried before when I

I have tried before when I was feeling this way to talk to him and he said he didn't understand why I was feeling that way and nothing changed. Now this was months ago so maybe I can try again and if it doesn't work try that.

Yes you need to sit down and

Yes you need to sit down and talk together. Not argue, just talk.

My DH has a very physical job, if he has two days off and SD is not with us then he likes to have one "lazy" day and one normal day.

He cant help if he doesnt really know theres a problem.

Mine was always an a&& when

Mine was always an a&& when he would quit smoking. So grumpy and on edge

OMG yes. I feel like all he

OMG yes. I feel like all he does is take it out on me lately which makes me feeling overwhelmed even worse. I told him the other day I was doing my best to support the quitting smoking but he needed to quit with the yelling at me. I think thats why I'm having a hard time going to talk to him about this bcuz everything I say and do makes him mean and grumpy.

I'm sure this won't work for

I'm sure this won't work for everyone but my husband has tried to quit smoking several times. At some point I realized that when he tries to quit smoking he is just a monster. So the next time he said he would try to quit, I told him that he would have to move out while he went through that stage because I was not going to deal with it again. They just don't see what assholes they are when they try to quit smoking.

Now on the other issue of doing everything, you have now taken the bulk of the responsibility off of him (at least that's the way he sees it). People will do to you what you ALLOW them to do to you. Why is it your responsibility to cook, pick up groceries, clean the house? Doesn't he live there too? You both work right? As much as he does in contributing to the household chores, errands, etc., that's how much I would do...no more no less. Now granted this is after you have had the talk with him and if nothing changes or if he uses the "I don't understand" excuse again. Sometimes you have to show people.

I'm sorry you're feeling

I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed.

What's "normal" varies family to family, I feel. My DH works 6 days a week while I'm at home with a baby and toddler. I also work from home, so some days are better than others in regards to what gets accomplished. In my head, there's an order of importance - at least one thing that needs to get accomplished (like laundry.) Then there are days that DH really kicks into overdrive. Sometimes on his one day off even. Of course, after he goes for a 4 hour bike ride, but I'm perfectly okay with that since he's perfectly okay with what doesn't get done. He has no expectations of me. I would find that rather unfair of him if he did.

I'd recommend talking to him. Calmly explain to him that you're overwhelmed. Ask if there's at least one thing he can commit to doing/helping with on a consistent basis. If that's met with resistance, perhaps bow out of doing something... anything you feel can slide for a bit. He needs to recognize you guys are in it together and it's a give and take situation. I personally feel both parents should contribute in keeping a home and caring for children. It's a balancing act, but hopefully you two will find your groove.

Does his daughter live with

Does his daughter live with you full time? If not, why wasn't she with her mother while he was out of town?

If you both work then he should be helping you with half of the household duties.

I get how hard quitting smoking can be - but it is no excuse for yelling at you.

And no, I wouldn't call this typical male behavior. I think certain men or women can act this way. Like others have said - you need to have a serious talk with him and give him a chance to come around.

I love my DP dearly. But he's

I love my DP dearly.
But he's not exactly great at "doing things around the house."
Really bad usually.

I have to be very specific when I get overwhelmed (less now that I have disengaged from a lot with SDs) - just this weekend he was commenting on how busy I was.
I told him that yes, yes I was because some things needed to be done and it was easier to just do them myself (and important to not complain if you do them yourself). However, if he would assist with taking out the trash and recycling that would be a BIG help to me. And could you please get out X or Y from the freezer for dinner?

That works.
If it's something else not on his immediate radar, like ordering a new water filter for the fridge, I will have to ask/remind him at least 5 times. But if I give him something like that to do, and he asks for these things, it can't be something I can't live without (the light bulb project was a disaster). But it should be something that needs to be done - just not by you and not immediately. I don't nag, I remind.