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today will be the second time SD will be here since her Storming out on DH at the beginning of the summer

Someoneelse's picture

So a bit of back story for those who haven't been following (if you have been following skip to paragraph 3):
SD16 let DD17 borrow a hair clip and DD17 left it in the bathroom (DD17 is wrong for this, I agree 100%), one of my daycare kids picked it up when  they went potty, I went to take it from her and before I could get it in my hands, the kids dropped it to the floor and one of the teeth broke off (I took responsibility for this, heck, I would even buy her a new one, it was only a dollar). I was going to tell her what had happened but she was napping, I had to take DD17 to the doctor for a UTI, and I was going to let SD know that I dropped her hair clip when she woke, but she found it before I got home. (This next part is a retelling through SD) according to SD she said,  "ugh, my hair clip is broken, and went to her room, and snap chatted a few friends that "DD17 had her clip last and now it's broken, but that it could have been one of the daycare kids" and then DD18 "couldn't mind her own business" and told DD17 that she's complaining to all her friends that she is telling them that DD17  did it. Then SD16 got a text from DD17 cursing her out telling her that maybe she should get all the info before she starts spreading rumors. DH said EVERYONE was at fault for something, that DD18 should have stayed out of SD's business, and not gotten involved, DD17 shouldn't have left the clip in the bathroom, or text SD so rudely, but SD shouldn't have just assumed anything. SD refused to accept that she had ANY fault in ANYTHING that happened. NOBODY was going to be punished, but THAT was not making SD happy.THEN SD16 gets a horrible stomach ache and we end up in the ER with her mom and the DRs couldn't find anything through XRAY,CT, MRI, or ultrasound....

SOOOOO the next day DD18 says mom, everything got really crazy last, I wanted to show the video I took, but I couldn't get a word in edgewise..... She shows me the video, SD16 literally was complaining to DD18 about how DD17 broke the hairclip and how she always breaks EVERYTHING of SD16 (DD17 NEVER borrows anything from SD16 ever), SD is the one who destroys, never returns things of DD17 and 18: notebooks, goggles, ponytails holders, a whole case of friendship bracelet making material, etc), then DD18 mentions it could have been a daycare kid, to which SD16 retorts "NO, DD17 she always breaks everything of mine, and even *SD's friend* thinks she did it" in the most agressive tone ever). So DD18, text DD17 "Hey, did you break SD's hairclip?" DD17 responded, "no, why", DD18 replied "because she's over here telling me and her friend that you did" Like I said earlier, NOBODY was punished for ANYTHING, so I am GLAD, but now that it has come to light that SD has completely manipulated everyone and lied about EVERYTHING, I feel like she should have some sort of consequence, but DH refuses to mention ANYTHING to SD about it, and refuses to tell SD that's why nobody has been wanting to have dinner with her.

 

SOOOOO last time SD was here, she hardly spoke to me (she has not idea anyone knows what actually went down, other than DD18, since she was there). she sat in my daycare room doing her homework, and talked to the children, but refused to speak to me.... it was incredibly awkward.

Since that visit, I had  birthday, and at the end of the day she text me, but I ignored it (did the same thing on mother's day, I refuse to aknowledge half A$$ messages of "happy birthdays" and "happy mother's days" that DH probably told her to send. Well, today DH is taking her and DD18 to dinner (DD17 is working) DD18 was told she didn't have to go, but she agreed, because DH is taking her to go get a suit for homecoming after dinner. after that, DH also gets her for this weekend... I just REALLY hope that *something* comes up. I cannot stand her anymore, she literally wants to act like nothing happened and I think she expects for us to apologize. I want to vomit because she will be in my home. she is a disgusting waste of space, just like her mother.

tog redux's picture

Dear god, all that drama over a $1 HAIR CLIP? If she comes over, be civil and polite and nothing more. Hopefully she will create more imaginary drama over something at dinner and then refuse to come over. 

Someoneelse's picture

Omg, my manifesting worked, she's too "uncomfortable" to come this weekend, because apparently nobody's made an effort to hang out with her when she came that one Thursday lmao

tog redux's picture

That was predictable. She wanted everyone to beg and plead with her to come over again. 

Dragonfly87's picture

It sounds like she's trying to split your daughters- get one to side with her against the other. Then when it didn't work- she had the "stomach ache" to get attention. Before I reply further... am I following this correctly? 

The f***ing drama that some teens can cause is unreal...

Someoneelse's picture

Basically, but probably backwards.  She idolizes the 17yo, so she was probably INTENTIONALLY was trying to get everyone to turn against the 18 (this is always her MO). She always has some way to try to blame SOMETHING on the 18yo. DH USED to call her out on it, but after EVERY visitation he get a phone call from BM on how sd cries hysterically and is completely depressed after EVERY visitation, and she can't FORCE her to come over to such a toxic situation. So now he's at a loss of what to do. 

tog redux's picture

He should ignore BM and see SD out of the home until she can take some responsibility for her part in the "toxic situation", which she will never do. Your DDs should not have to put up with this nonsense. Even if they aren't always innocent, it sounds like she's the core of the drama. 

Someoneelse's picture

luckily, this weekend she isn't coming, next weekend isn't DH's the following 2 weekends we are on a cruise for our 10yr anniversary, then the following weekend isn't DH's weekend ROFL so UNLESS he switches weekends with BM since we will be unavailable for visitation (I try to stay out of all that, so sometimes I don't know what is happening) I shouldn't really see her that much for the next month... lt me tell you, it's been a nice few months. I haven't seen her other than for the 2 hrs of her sitting in the room with me silently since the first week of july, I wont see her (unless DH switched weekends) until mid oct. Biggrin

Dragonfly87's picture

Got it. Yeah SD sounds like she's manipulating the situation. Agreed DH should just ignore BM and parent his daughter. If she doesn't want to come to a drama free house wtih rules and show respect- stay with BM.

Survivingstephell's picture

Drop the rope. Put her on notice for her pot stirring ways and that if she can't drop the drama, she doesn't need to bring it over anymore. If she stops coming over so be it.  She's a teenager, not a toddler.  DH can see her outside if the house for awhile , for dinner and such. The solution can be simple if DH has the balls to stand up to her.  If not , maybe you should consider it.  One of the Rules around here is: parent your kid before I do.