SD calls me mom and it makes me nauseous!
SD has done SOOOOO much to distance herself from this house, and I was SOOOO pleased. I was content with her NEVER wanting to come back... but now she's going out of her way to make sure that she is spending time over here. She wants to go to her mom's family's house for easter weekend because they have a yearly crawfish family reunion thing, she asked DH if she could come to our house the week before to make sure that she spends time with us.
And I get that she deserves time with her father... but after ALL the $#!t she has done to hurt us ALL, I don't like spending ANY time with her. She's literally turned into her mother, who is the MOST manipulative lying, hateful narcissist. When SD was 5yo her mother told her not to call me mom because it would break her heart. and I was fine with that, I NEVER looked to be her MOM, just a positive female role model in her life. but that turned out not to work, SD STILL turned out to be hateful and at every turn tried to tear our family apart.
SD at some point started calling me Momma (which where we are momma is a common thing for you to call your mother at any age) which from day ONE made me nauseous... It give me the feeling like "Even though I try to destroy your family, I want you to treat me, look at me, and love me like your own children"
Things that she does:
ALWAYS blames everything that happens on my DD18, my DD18 is depressed, has attempted to commit su!c!de a few times... She is akward, and quirky, possibly (not diagnosed) is on the autism spectrum. she would CONSTANTLY get made fun of and harrassed at school and on the school bus (which I cannot help, that is going to happen, but home should be a safe haven, but wasn't, she would ALWAYS get made to be "in trouble because SD would be HORRIFICALLY mean to her, and as SOON as DD would yell at her or tell her to get out of her room, and SD would torment her even more, DD would PUSH her out of her room (I get it that she shouldn't be laying hands on anyone, and that WAS addressed as well) but I also get that she is harassed ALL day at school for being different, and she couldn't be herself at home either as long as SD is there. And so DD got to the point that since she couldn't have a safe haven ANYWHERE she wanted to die... SD ACTIVELY was pushing EVERY button that she knew would get DD to explode... this was back when DD18 was about 12 or 13
KNOWING that DD17 has SEVERE anxiety and OCD and needs things done in a certain way, in a certain pattern, when mom offered to watch all 3 girls and have them sleep over, I would give hugs before we left (this was back when DD17 was about 8 or so). I would hug SD, DD18 (9ish at the time) and then littlest DD. then SD would come back for another hug (KNOWING it was going to affect DD). At the time my mother thought I was just too harsh on SD and that I should treat SD as I would my own kids so I would give SD another hug, but then I would go back to give DD another hug, and then SD would repeat, but that would be where I would tell SD no, I already gave you one, you're done. but it was more about the intent that bothers me. this was EVERY TIME they went to spend the night at my mother's house.
The fact that at every turn she would try to get SOMEONE in trouble, INCLUDING ME! She would twist EVERY word I said. I mention that she has heartburn a lot, maybe she should see a doctor. She tells DH that I am making fun of her. I didn't know that she was coming for the weekend, because DH had been switching weekends A LOT. so I made something with almonds (SD is allergic SUPPOSEDLY) and make some without almonds, and she ended up coming. I had forgotten that something I made, she couldn't have. She asked if she coudl have one, and I said sure, but less than a second later I stopped her. She may have taken 1 bite at that point. nothing happened so I didn't think to mention it to DH. Well the weekend was over and SD had gone home, and then 2 days later BM called DH pissed that I "MADE" SD eat something that had almonds.
Then this past summer she got PISSED because her hair clip had gotten broken, and she SWORE up and down that DD17 did it, and was complaining TO DD18. Well, DD18 text DD17 (who was with me because I was taking her to the doctor) and DD said she didn't break it (I was the one who broke it, but hadn't told her because she was napping and woke up to see it while we were gone). Well, then When I got home I walked in on DD18 being reprimanded for telling on SD to DD when she "didn't know what actually happened" because apparently SD is telling everyone that she DIDN'T talk to DD and "DD was eaves dropping and telling DD17 things she knows nothing about" But sorry, SD There was a video.... SOOOO after this, SD stopped coming for MONTHS, because "DH is detrimental to her mental health"
There are stories apon stories like this these are just the ones off the top of my head. but this past weekend when she was here she called me "momma" again, and it made me physically SICK! I can't stand SD and for her to call me that is insane...