Stepmom one day...nothing the next
My "SD" who is 16 years old constanly picks on me for not calling her "my daughter" I'm still getting used to the idea of being around them all the time . I have been living with her and her Dad for 8 months, there is also a 11 year old SD.
I have taken the roll of "Mom" , Cooking and cleaning the house.
The girls come back from school and I'm there to chit chat ..we dont really have deep coversations.
I get mixed emotions due to the fact that the 16 yr although she wants me to call her "my Daughter" yesterday she had to pick out 12 pictures of family and friends for her school magazine and guess what ....I'm in none of them .
It makes me feel like crap that even though I do things for them ..and they are grateful in someway..I'm not significant enough in other areas of their lives...
Is it just a process ?
How should I deal with it ?
No BM passed away 5 years ago
No BM passed away 5 years ago . I met her Dad 2 years ago.
Agreee with ^^ Give it
Agreee with
Give it time, and keep doing what you are doing.
She had mentioned that indeed
She had mentioned that indeed she was going to put a picture of me in the bunch ..But I just did not comment as I didn't want her to feel she had to do it. So I just waited to see what she decided to do ...in a way I hoped she would count me in but I also kept in mind that I;m not even married to her dad yet and that magazine would be a treasure memory for her since it;s her last year at school.
Yeah you are right it's too soon..I guess there are times that she pulls back thinking i don't really care..other times I pull back thinking I dont want to pressure her into including me in her life.
Thanks for the advice ...I just call them "girls" for now..
Give it time. You should see
Give it time. You should see the look on my SS12's face when I call him my son. He smiles ear to ear. Once in a while, he'll use "mom" instead of "stepmom" and that makes me smile ear to ear. This is all new - just give yourself some time. I think bradybunch said it really well.
I say call her your daughter
I say call her your daughter every single time. My step mom did that for me and I loved it every single time. I was like 27 when she married my dad and my mother was still living!
I have also worked very hard to do the same for my step kids, some of the time i think they appreciated, other times no. But do it anyway...it will pay off.
And what does she call you?
I guess I am very traditional. I mean no criticism here just terminology. You are living with a man not yet married to him so is he your husband? His child obviously sees you as a mother figure and wants normalcy in the relationshhip. If you plan on being with this man for the rest of your life, remember she'll be there too. You are getting some teenage behavior so just gtin and bear it, it will get better with patience and love.
Rach