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step daughter questions of visitation/moving

beckys5555's picture

My husband is nc parent of 2 kids 8 and 10...they come one day a week and every other weekend. We all get along great and really enjoy them around. Lately they have been questioning this routine like they haven't before asking why it's not split and why they see their mother more and upset that they don't have friends at our house. It's been like this for a few years and all these topics have never come up. We tell them the truth how it works better this way and we wish we could see them more but our work schedules wouldn't make us home enough to watch them. Their stepdad stays at home with them and doesn't work. It still seems they can't grasp this and have been asking alot lately that when they don't need someone to watch they want to visit alot more and one wants to live with us. We do not encourage this convo at all, to be honest I wouldn't want them to. I feel like their routine and all of their upbringing is at their mothers. She is literally 20 years older than us (yes my dh went after an older woman ), and has raised 2 other now young adults. It seems she knows what she's doing and it scares me to raise step kids as I've heard of nightmares from others. If this persists what would be a response as to why they have to stay at their mothers? I think my husband would want them to come over more and I wouldn't want to be the evil stepmom to say no but I know there's no way bm would ever ever agree to loose cs and yearly tax money let alone her kids raised under another woman's house...I just feel awkward thinking of the future of their wants...can anyone relate?

beckys5555's picture

He's actually the one she left my dh for when they were babies. They don't even remember their parents together. They rant and rave what an awesome stepdad he is and how much they love him.

Ninji's picture

Maybe, They just really want to spend more time with their dad. That doesn't have to mean BM or SF is a bad person or the Skids don't love them.

If you really believe that BM won't consent to more time and your DH isn't talking about going to court to change things, I won't worry about it. We have enough as SM's to worry about.

beckys5555's picture

They unfortunately live 2 streets over from us lol... the topic of split time has never come up , ever. Just worried now it may and not to be selfish but how that would flip my world around ugh.