I'm new here and this is my first post. I know lots of you have probably dealt with the same problems I have and it is such a relief to find out there is support somewhere for step-parents.
My DH is wonderful and it is too easy for him to agree with my point of view. I don't like to talk too much about my step-kids with him because they are his children and I don't want to influence their relationship in a negative way.
My SD's are 13 & 14. They used to be great. Not perfect, but lovely girls. I know alot of their behaviors right now are age-related, but it kills me how their mother handles them.
Lately they have become the most self-centered, spoiled rotten little princesses, and they think they are hard done by.
They each have cell phones. (My DH and I do not - can't afford it). They have computers and internet access. We can't afford it. They have a couple pairs each of $100 runners. I can't afford new shoes from Payless. They were the coolest name-brand clothes, have no curfews or rules and run around town like their are mini versions of Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.
On the bright side - at least their mother spends money on them I guess. On the down side - they think they are totatlly entitled to everything and have their hands out full time. They refuse to ride the bus (our town is small) and the bus stop is right outside our front door. Instead they take taxicabs everywhere! Their Mom says - just give them cab fare I do it all the time. They never even have enough money leftover from their daily trips to the mall to pay the cabbie - but he still drives them all the way home even though they have only $2. They continue to do this because they know they can get away with it.
I am growing resentful for many reasons. I love these girls and I want to continue to like them, but it's very hard. They keep telling us about the nice car they expect their Dad to buy them when they turn 16. We drive a 1989 VW golf that is covered in rust.
Last weekend, the oldest made her sister walk 2 blocks in -40 degree celsius weather to the store to buy her a bottle of water because she refused to drink tap water. I guess now when they come over they will have a "rider" full of necessary items to make them happy. Including bottled water.
I came from a fairly well-off family. My parents had lots of stuff. They were generous with their kids but refused to spoil us. I never, ever, ever had $100 shoes. I took the bus. I took my first cab ride as an adult. I had a job. I was expected to help out around the house. NO WAY would they have bought me a cell phone.
Sigh - I feel like I have to fight to like them right now. Please tell me this will end. I am starting to dread the "weekends with the girls". The house is taken over every time they come, they bring at least one friend if not two who spend the entire weekend at our house and I end up feeding 3 or 4 kids every weekend instead of 2. Yup, the other freeloaders belong to other single mothers. (happy someone's ex-husband is looking after their kids I guess).
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel way better.