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Feeling like a hundred bucks

Smellissa's picture

I posted t wo days ago about my high maintenance step daughters. In the comments, I spoke a little about their father, who has become pretty useless in the last little bit.

What I didn't tell you guys about is all the other stress I've dealt with.

Two weeks ago, my hot water tank broke. For a week, I dealt with having no hot water (heating water on the stove for me and SDs to bathe and clean dishes) before I slipped and my family found out. It took my sister an hour to get my BIG over to my house with parts to fix it. Then BIL found out it wasn't fixable.

By that time, the hardware stores were closed. So, my sister blew up my phone the next day, getting me up, so we could go get a new hot water heater (that my mom loaned me the money for). While I was waiting for my sister, Hubby and I got into a HUGE fight ( where I threw and broke his cell phone) over him refusing to work, and lying AGAIN to get out of work.

In the car with Sister, I broke down. I cried about having to feed SDs Ramon Noodles for dinner the night before. Sister and I went and got the heater, and Hubby left for work ( now that there was work to do at home!)

I got SDs off the bus, and BIL and his brother showed up to replace the heater. The girls and I rearranged the living room furniture, before the transit bus got here to take us to their doctors appointments.

I came home to hot water, and a school closing notice. The girls were tired, though, and promised to shower in the morning. Whatever, by this time, I was just ready for bed!

Sister and Mom showed up with GOOD FOOD, we ate and went to bed.

Guess who woke up to frozen water?!?

I called Mom, asking for a ride, and to come to her house, so my SDs could shower. Brother heard about my frozen water that way. While we were at Mom's, Brother brought a salamander ( huge gas heater) to get started thawing my water.

I got home, and brother left. After an hour, I had to crawl under my trailer, to unhook the heater. The fumes under there made me sick.

The next day, was my last post. Running out of food again, suicidal SD14, and a week of hearing from both SDs " you love my sister TOO MUCH! (It was never " you don't love me enough", though.)

So, SD14 and I went to her therapy appointment. It was an hour of me telling Therapist about SD14's meltdowns, the constant compitition, and SD14 wanting to die everytime SD12 got any attention. Therapists told SD14 that she can't threaten suicide unless she means it, and if she means it, she will be given help, even if it means hospitalization.

Then, therapist came up with an idea. Twice a week, I will give each SD an hour of my undivided attention. Once a week, both SDs will give me two hours of alone time.

We came home, ate and went to bed.

Yesterday am, I woke up, got SDs up, and dozed back off. SD14 woke me up three times, and I asked if she needed me up. SD14 said no, and let me go back to sleep. I got to sleep until I was done sleeping!

When I woke up, Hubby gave me $100 and asked me to find a ride to the grocery store. I called Sister, and she and Mom picked me up in the afternoon.

When SDs got home, they called me. Hubby was in tube background telling them to leave me alone. I let them know that I was taking my two hours.

They didn't call again. ( Them calling me every few minutes is a huge pet peave of everyone who takes me out!)

After grocery shopping, we swung by moms, and I carried in, and put away her groceries. She had surgery for cancer three weeks ago, and was worn out.

Then, Sister brought me home. I sat in the car, chatting with her for a minute, and when I looked up, all of my groceries were out of the car!

I came inside, and SDs asked me to let them put away groceries, so they could see what I'd bought! They decided they wanted subs for dinner, and made them!

Oh! I also have water! Hubby got it thawed yesterday! Biggrin

After dinner, I spent an hour with SD12, while Hubby bonded with SD14. Then, we switched for an hour. After showers, the girls were tired, so Hubby and I got a few minutes of just us.

I woke up this morning, and.SD12 made me coffee, while I made breakfast. Now, Hubby has SD14 at work with him, while SD12 and I zone out in Law and Order reruns.

What a difference a day makes!

Comments

Yosemite's picture

I am glad that things are going better. I hope this is only the beginning of good things for you!

Smellissa's picture

Aswang, both of my SDs got on me last night. They decided a week or two ago that they want me to adopt them, and i hadn't called the attorney yet. They love me, and they need me. There's no one in the world that I love more then them.

They've been failed a lot in their lives. I've sat across the city, not being able to DO anything. All I could do was listen to the horror stories, and think "if I could protect them." Now, I can!

They keep me hopping, and wear me out. They also make me wake up everyday, just thanking God. I know I didn't give birth to them, but they are mine. I fought for them ( and lost over and over). I paid the attorney, after finally finding one to take our case. No one would loan me the money, because even my family said it was hopeless!

Smellissa's picture

I don't think I'm doing anything that most of the SMs on here would, with such damaged kids! How many times have you seen a hurt and abused kid on the news, and wanted to hug them? I get to hug SDs every night. I'm so lucky to have these struggles! But sometimes, I forget that!

Smellissa's picture

Thanks, Hallowpoints! Weather it works or not, at least the last two days have been nice! I hope it continues!

An eight year old yelling because of no.tv? That sucks! SD12 is my yeller, and it goes through me! :/

I hope your therapist is as helpful as SD14's!

Right now, the girls have no contact with BM, anymore. Unless she fights for it ( she can petition through Children's Services for it) or a therapist tells me it's in one of their best interest, we'll keep it that way. Her last contact with SD14 ( about adoption) taught me a lesson!

whatwasithinkin's picture

It is nice to have a decent day now and again where you can see the fruits of your labor. Far to often appreciation is what every step parent is missing. Some of us will never get it from our SK, bm has seen to that. But there is another person that can show appreciation and most often they don't and that is our dh not even their kids

Smellissa's picture

What, I agree 100%! Hubby is an ass! Sometimes, I feel like I do EVERYTHING!

I cook, clean, supervise the girls on their chores, do homework, take care of periods, Christmas, birthdays, and heart aches. I handle upset stomachs, headaches, fights, bills, groceries, and pets. Not only does Hubby not thank me, but he tells me I'm doing it all wrong! Then, he goes and hides in his bedroom, letting mine handle it all some more!