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Sheets! Mine & yours

SweetMom's picture

I know this maybe a petty post maybe but as I write I’m a little shaky the more I think about it. My sd is 15 now. She comes every other week if not, more. I make her change her own sheets for the past 2 years. Sometimes if we are real busy i’ll Just change them. I have a dresser with two big drawers in hallway. The top one is her sheets, bottom is mine. I change bed sheets every three days in mine and Dh bed and I look forward to the special sheets which is 5,000 thread count. I paid a lot of money for. Now her sheets are like 1,000 or a little better because when I get a new set I put them in her drawer. Well yesterday I told her to change her sheets before she left. I like to keep clean sheets in her bed just Incase we get a guest. This time she got in my bottom drawer and got my brand new sheet set I was looking g forward to changing bed in my room today and they were in her bed. Here’s my question. Should I rip the sheets off her bed, wash and put where they belong which is on my bed. If she is gulliable enough to not blow right from wrong, in a week will she even know I changed them? Them are my damn sheets, she doesn’t get deprived here. The comforter alone on her bed was on sale for 200.00, if that tells you anything. Is it principle? 

futurobrillante99's picture

You will probably hear other opinions, but I would NOT like my kids or skids using the FANCY sheets I bought for myself. Luckily, my sheets are queen size and the other two beds in the house are full and twin.

But, yes, I would NOT be okay with my nice sheets being used by a kid.

Now, do you need to wash them? Did she sleep on them? If not, then just put the sheets on your bed because they should still be clean, right?

Blue Moon's picture

I say take the sheets. So what if she realizes this next time she's over? If she asks about it, you can remind her which sheets are hers, and which are yours.

I agree with FB99 about not needing to wash them if she didn't sleep in them... unless there is a stench in her room?

SweetMom's picture

I probably shouldn’t have washed them but I did. We picked her up after her sports event which made her sweaty and she came here and didn’t take a bath that night and got under covers, then she got up and we went off and she sweat again and got under her comforter. She doesn’t pull the sheet back so when she put clean sheets in she put her dirty comforter on top of them. She does put off a musty odor at times and drenched herself her body spray or perfume so yes it’s a mental thing. I’m washing her comforter now. We have to constantly remind her to take a shower or bath. 

Siemprematahari's picture

Why is this child not taking a shower? Why is her father not putting his foot in her @ss about proper hygiene?? I wouldn't want her using my sheets or anything else that I own for that matter.

grace8205's picture

I do not like sharing my personal bedding or towels with any kids especially teenagers. Lucky for me our bed is a king size and the only king size bed in the house. My son and skid had their own sheets and there own towels when they lived with us. Skid would leave his wet towels after one use on his floor and then go help himself to my towels. At one house we had all our towels in our closet in our bedroom to stop this. So I do not think you are being petty. I would ask her to make sure she grabs sheets from the top drawer only for her bed. If she doesn't listen, I guess you might I have move your extra sheets somewhere else. 

 

SweetMom's picture

She does samething to towels. I myself hang my towel up for atleast 2 uses but I guess she see’s we have a lot of towels so she just gets a fresh one every time. Those specific sheets were a treat to myself. 

Survivingstephell's picture

I can't believe you felt you had to ask this question.  You are the adult, paid good money for those sheets so that alone qualifies you to decide to not share them and put them on your bed. 

I would leave her bed bare and if she complains, remind her where her sheets are kept.  No lecture, just a logical consequence to making a bad choice.  

SweetMom's picture

I am asking opinions because I want to know if maybe I was being over bearing on the subject. I told my husband and asked his opinion and he told me to just leave the sheets there. This was yesterday. Today as I was Chani g my bed sheets I thought and thought and the more I thought I got mad. Just because my husband told me to leave the sheets be. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Trust yourself.  Never ask your husband about a skid action.  They will always not care.  

Seriously7's picture

Agree 100%. Sadly, in his eyes she is probably close to faultless so there is no reason to ask for his opinion regarding her.

Dogmom1321's picture

Remind your DH if HE wants SD to have $200 sheets, he can buy them for her then. You aren't purchasing HIS child luxury items. 

SayNoSkidsChitChat's picture

Your stuff, you paid. Take back your bedding and wash them carefully. Get an under bed storage bin for your things.

tog redux's picture

I think if you want the sheets she used, take them back, and make sure you give her the sheets you want her to use in the future.  Gotta be honest, though, it's a bit overbearing to have her change her sheets every time she leaves "in case" you have a guest.  But I'm not sure how long she's there.

I think my SS went months without changing his sheets. Not my problem. But we never would have used his room as a guest room, he also never cleaned it.

Rags's picture

She is testing boundaries.  Rip them off of her bed, wash them, and put them on hers. Then move YOUR sheets to YOUR room.

Or... put a lock on your sheet drawer.

Dogmom1321's picture

Yes, the sheets are nice, fancy, YOURS, etc. However, just for the principle alone, I'd take them back! The message you are sending is that everything is communal property. What happens when she "just grabs your makeup" or "wears your favorite shoes". Boundaries, including property, go two ways. I don't even step foot in my SD10 room. She is responsible for cleaning it and doing laundry/sheets. I give her space, and I definitely expect the same in return. Don't mention to SD or DH, they will just get defensive. 

P.S. - is there another linen closet or a different place where you can keep your stuff separate from SD? Just so this "accidentally" doesn't happen again...