Good grief. Yes, it's strange. Maybe she is doing it to bug you or keep him away from you. That's why my step SON was a "compulsive daddy cuddler" from ages 14 to 16 and that, my friend was just PUKE SICK!!

Dh said to me once "I think ss may be gay." Had I had my head on straight, I would have replied "no, ss is a little FREAK who wants his daddy all to himself, to completely eliminate my physical proximity to you and it's obviously working for him."

Has your dh noticed that this is excessive???

YUCK. I wish I knew what to say. He should be wanting to cuddle with his WIFE, not his ten year old. Been there, done that - like I said - with then teenage ss - sick, sick, SICK.

exsd14 used to do this as well, up to the age of 10 though. then she stopped. i dont even remember the last time she gave him a hug before i left.

she was also obsessed with tickling him. this stopped by age 8, and i get that little kids sometimes like to tickle real quick but the way she did it was weird. she would lock her legs around his leg and tickle his foot, and would refuse to stop. exbf was a little too ticklish, and she capitalized on that, but i think what freaked me out was that he would be demanding her to stop and she wouldnt until he was practically crying...and yeah, he wasnt able to get her off him either.

she was always crawling all over him, but like i said, it all stopped at age ten. and it was infact to get me jealous or whatever. ur sd seems to be doing this to get a rise out of u as well. and ur dh is probably just happy to get the attention from her, as many bm's like to PAS these kids alot.

Remind him that all it takes is for one person to be skeeved out by this inappropriate physical contact and report him to Child Services.

Really sad. Your husband is being unfair to his daughter. The daughter will be devastated, when daddy decides to move on with his life. This is exactly what happened to a neighbor friend; The daddy drove all around town with the top of his convertible down, and his 10 year old daughter sitting next to him. I never saw the father with his wife. Always with his daughter. The daughter and father walked in step together wrapped around each other. Then the father left his wife and daughter behind, and ran off with another woman. The daughter who was about seventeen cried her eyes out for a whole year.

Children need to have their personal space respected. Sick what your husband is doing to his daughter. He is emotionally stunting her mental growth. The unhealthy relationship he has with his daughter is harming him, her, and everyone around the two of them.

Without your DHs help nothing will change.
IMO this girl believes she has adult status, she acts like a mini wife.Of course all kids (even teenagers) need sometimes cuddles and hugs, but what you describe sounds really extreme!It sounds as if she acts territorial and wants to make sure she is the one who has her hands on daddy , not you.He seems feel flattered by the attention and plainly overlooks the fact that it is out of balance!
When you say something he gets all defensive and tells you off- also very typical-because he sees your status significantly lower than his daughters.
My So was the same until he came to his senses - it was a process though and took a long time to see some changes.I think deep down he knew he would loose me if he would have kept on treating SD book "stepmonster".
I told him that I felt that there is virtually no emotional (or physical) space for me available when SD is around and that I am not prepared to compete with a child who thinks she is an adult.

Good gosh. 10? I get creeped out and sick of SS8 trying to sit under and squish between his Dad and I; it's for attention and not affection. He just wants to be center of attention all the time and for a boy who is few months shy of 9, that's weird to me. I don't know any little boys past 5 or 6 who want to cuddle with Dad or even sit under them. Then when I call them BOTH out on it, because I do flat out tell SS8, DH pretends to agree and tries to push him back some. (He's starting to push him back on his own accord now which is good). Then SS8 pretends he wasn't trying to cuddle. Freaking stupid.

What you just described though--that's damn strange! And people are talking and yet he is still blind so it's not even like it's just you! He could be looked at really funny if this child with near boobs and cycle is sitting up on his lap in a restaurant. What other child-like behaviors does she exhibits? If she does not show any other signs of extreme immaturity then you likely do have some kind of serious "competition or inappropriate sexual feelings for her Dad" situation. Does he have any male friends who are Dads who can maybe put a "man to man" bug in his ear that it's creepy behavior that could be perceived the wrong way?

I do know that many innocent Fathers are afraid to show affection to their daughters because of societies perceptions so there's no suggestion that HE thinks anything 'freaky' BUT he should not let her be like a woman to him, rubbing on him. It's not normal for a kid to cry when she can't monopolize him physically. There's other appropriate ways to show affection that's NOT creepy. A quick hug. A walk with an ice cream cone. A little secret handshake and wink that's between them. Those are cutesy age appropriate ways to bond without all of the physical contact.

Heck even a FEW hugs per DAY is an odd thing for a 10yr old girl. I think maybe your last resort is to let her pediatrician tell your DH about child mental and emotional development. Maybe then he'll look at it like "this is actually not good for her" vs "you just don't want them to be affectionate". Good luck!

My SD14 was like this in the beginning when I first met them. At age 12 she was holding hands with daddddddy fingers interlaced, EVERYWHERE. Sitting on his lap at the DINNER table in restaurants and at home. Spooning with him on the floor watching movies. Cuddling constantly and behaving much as your 10 yr old is now at age 12. She always had to be touching him or near him, no matter if we were out or just relaxing at home. Actually followed him to the BATHROOM, sat outside the bathroom door while he was in there and waited for him to come out, only to grab his hand into hers and walk back out. DISGUSTING!

After she called a "family mtg" with him and BM and her to discuss how uncomfortable it was for DH and I to kiss or hold hands in front of her and he agreed to cut down on our PDA in front of her, I threatened to leave. It was 6 mos into our relationship and things had become serious and we'd talked about moving in together when his lease expired. I told him there's NO way in Hell I was competing with his "mini-wife" of a daughter and good luck to him to find another woman worth her salt that would put up with the b.s.

He immediately went back to BM's home and had another meeting. This time telling them that they would no longer control his life or our relationship and that SD was far too old to be cuddling, holding hands, etc with him.

Until your DH sees something wrong with his very inappropriate displays with her, things won't change. I had to point it out to my DH on several occasions and asked him "how uncomfortable would you feel if you saw another man cuddling with a young girl like you do with SD?" He said he'd be creeped out. So, the light bulb finally went off and he agreed that she's much too old to treat like a baby.

Sad thing is, once he started pulling away physically, she started seeking it from boys and at age 13, ended up having sex with her boyfriend at her momma's house. She actually BLAMED DH for it. Yeah, said since he wouldn't allow her to have spring break at her mom's, she and the boyfriend decided to have sex since they wouldn't see each other that week, alllllll because of dadddddddy saying no! It was "our" week with her!

Gaahhhh - you're in for a long road here if your DH is so adamant that his behavior with her is not crossing a line. I wish you nothing but luck with that. I had to actually threaten to leave the relationship for things to change, but he's stuck with it - put our marriage first and now we're extremely happy and SD14 is still an attention whore!

Up until about 8 months ago, when SS11 was ten, she was still coming in to DH's room (this is before we were married) and sleeping in his bed with him. Alone. Sometimes both she and SD12 were there. But the younger one is the worst. I've finally broken them of each other. I had to straight up tell him, nicely, that her behavior is completely inappropriate for her age. Sleeping in his bed? Not okay after like age six. She would lay down with him on the couch completely wrapped around him and fall asleep. Then he would get all pissed at me when I was too creeped out to also be on the couch - yes, he wanted me to just jump in and join them! Gag. I once saw SD13 when she was 11, sitting between his knees while he was on a chair, and had her arms draped around his legs. I almost threw up a little in my mouth.

Luckily, he was receptive and put the kibosh on their weirdness. He won't even let them sit between us at any time whatsoever.

Good luck with this.. I would say that if he doesn't listen to what you have to say, completely disengage while he and the child are acting all weird, and probably the more you do it, the more he may realize they're having this inappropriate behavior.

It could also be her insecurity from her parent's breakup (okay, sort of understandable) and being all extra clingy and needing attention. I understand that. But HOW they show that or want it shown to them makes a big difference. Now SD11 is a nosy, busybody tattletale who calls DH every five minutes asking when he's going to be home.

My husband is very affectionate with all his kids...ss22, sd15 and ss13. However my SD did push her boundaries when we first got together, but she was 6. His kids will lay by him on the couch, his daughter will sit on his lap and hug him or they'll both sit in a big oversized recliner together...but they never "CUDDLE"?

That kid is weird.

totally know how you feel! my step kids 8girl and 9boy always holding DADDYS hand trying to get into bed with us! EWWW GO AWAY YOU DUMB KIDS

Ew...

as I am reading this I am watching a movie on LMN where a dad is sleeping with his daughter. It's disgusting. I keep having to change the channel.

We have this issue too. Sd10 thinks she is a mini wife. We seem to have gone back to him discussing things with her first...just had a heated argument over it the other day.

He has started to undermine me in front of her AGAIN everytime I correct her. (he knows she is having problems at home so apparently this is going to help her?)

She is cuddling AGAIN. On the lap...NO NO NO! I already told him I won't deal with this shit again...it's DISGUSTING and she is way to old to be hanging on him like he's more than her dad.

Now I didn't come from a touchy feely family but - I still hug and kiss my dad (on the cheek) when I see him and every now and then I'll hold onto his arm...not usually. I am a daddy's girl but NEVER have I EVER EVER done anything this little girl is doing. It's DISGUSTING. We are back to, "Yes daddy!" Thank you Daddy! DDDAADDDDD!!! when I am standing in the same room as her and clearly I can handle whatever she needs...when he calls and she says Hi - he is back to "Hi baby!" EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! hun is acceptable. HER NAME WOULD BE BETTER. but DO NOT CALL YOUR LITTLE GIRL THE SAME PET NAMES YOU CALL ME!

2 questions.

1)Is the cuddling ALWAYS done in a common room?

2)Is there a blanket or throw of some sort over one or both of them while they are doing all of this cuddling?

If you can answer both of these questions honestly and you feel like no abuse is going on then your DH needs to get his head together and stop this.

Plain and Simple.

My SD12 does this type of stuff. It's a little weird to me sometimes, when she overdoes it.
However, I will say that there have been times where I have cuddled my 14 y/o son. If I try to wake him for school and he won't wake up I'll lay down next to him and hug him while he sleeps. I'll rub his arm gently so he wakes up. He is my youngest and I am very affectionate with him. It's sweet that he lets me, teens tend to be grossed out by parental affection. So if I am to be completely honest, I can understand that SD12 is really just being affectionate with her dad. Sometimes I feel she overdoes it and that she is being territorial with her mini-wife complex. She holds hands with him, she lays her head on his chest. I try not to be too bothered by it because I do get that she only sees him twice a month and she must miss him. I guess it all depends on HOW much she does it.

Weird!

I would be demanding a family therapist intervene.

Nothing more to add, other than this whole post makes me want to scrub myself with a stiff brush! :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick: :sick:

My SD12 is way to overly affectionate with her father but it seems to have gotten better...except out in public where she still insists on holding his hand everywhere they go so that she can parade her dominance over the situation is what I believe. I also noticed when she is asking DH for money or to take her somewhere, she uses affection to get what she wants...wow just wow is all I have to say. Nothing shocks me or suprises me anymore...I guess that is part of disengaging.

How do people find 9 month old posts? Is there a search or something?

any fool if they look at statistics will tell you that daughters with out full time male figures tend to be friendlier when men looking for a father figure. because the courts are complete unfair to men and give them the shit end of the stick when it comes to visitation its an epidemic. nobody said her actions were pure i believe the meaning of the post was about the inappropriate nature of it.

sd17 was never like that. sd14 has always been. sd17 sees daddy as her boosum buddy best friend. sd14 sees her daddy as daddy and not given nearly enough attention from him. he wasnt allowed sd17 would get mad. therefore sd14nover compensates.

I don't even think Jackoo is real.

MamaC, you do know much of America believes Micheal liked to fuck kids, right??? Sure the music was great but.....

How to raise and train your daughter to be a whore slut - by Jakoo52

I think he is not real, guys.Just another troll!!!Makes me feel like vomit what he/she/it writes !

I honestly do not see how these guys don't get that they're really screwing their kids up. I don't get how they don't see that.

This poor kid is going to have a horrible time of it when she's removed from that pedestal and nobody is to blame for how she reacts and the entire situation but the people who put her there. Don't expect this kid to have the maturity of other kids her age or act like other kids her age. She will not. She will have no confidence in herself. She'll have no friends. She may "hurt" dh by removing him from her life. The "hurt" she'll cause him will pale in comparison to the hurt and long term damage he's caused her.

These guilty parents aren't evil people, but they'll reap what they sow. And they deserve to. It's just sad that the kids have to suffer because of pi$$ poor parenting.

There is a way you treat your kid and a way you treat your wife/girlfriend. The 2 are nothing alike. I think men who have no spouse in their life project onto female children and those children are, effectively, the 'woman' of the house. These dads may not mean to treat their daughters that way, but it does happen. In a normal house with 2 parents, you do not catch daddy and daughter acting like husband and wife. Yes, dad and daughter can kiss, hug, sit together..but they do not act the way we see described on this site. There is something wrong there. There is a big difference between Mom, Dad and daughter dynamic and Dad, Daughter and step mom dynamic sometimes. Especially in the beginning of the relationship.

I completely agree with you that it is weird and inappropriate. My SD is 5 and she is the same way but my DH will stop it if things start to get weird so I am thankful for that. I wonder why your DH is allowing this to go on? I think hugs are the only type of physical affection a 10 year old girl should be getting from her father (or anyone else, for that matter).

My SD13 is this ay with her dad...we have full custody and she only sees her mom once a month.SD craves attention. Wanting to tickle/wrestle with her dad. A few times trying to give each other "titty twisters". I said NOT OK. yet they've done it a time or two after that so i had to repeat NOT OK. SD wants to cuddle, sit in chair with dad and i said over a year ago its not ok any more,  yet i came home the other day and there they were. 

I can't even stand hugging her because shed beg for a hug then say she was suffocated by my boobs! She openly discusses how her friends and she talk about sexual things yet she doesn't seem to get how gross she acts towards adults,  her dad especially.  Scary thing is i think its her initiating the inappropriate contact but he won't put a stop to it...I'm about to say "peace out!"

Ive had a friend and family members abused or treated inappropriately and it just makes my skin crawl seeing this in my own home.

I deal with this with SD12 and it seems to be getting worse. The last two nights she has sat on DHs lap for almost 2 hours watching TV. She is always climbing all over him if she isn’t sitting still in his lap. If he gets up to use the bathroom she follows him and stands outside the door.....if I ever speak to DH she interrupts. I can tell he is totally annoyed but won’t do anything about it.

we have a large house with many other kids around and SD is glued to DH. If we go somewhere she won’t join the other kids she is holding DHs hand.