The Sainted Late Wife vs the Crazy BM
Everyone makes it out like it's so easy to be stepparent when the BM/BF is deceased but that's the furthest from the truth. Dealing with a sainted LW (late wife) is even more difficult.
No one who's divorced calls their previous spouse their soulmate.
Anyone ever wondered if their DH loved crazy BM more than them?
No one who's divorced has to deal with comparisons to the LW who after death becomes a perfect saint who did no wrong and everyone wants to talk about how wonderful she was. Even right in front of you.
Anyone have to have pictures of the crazy BM in their house? But pictures of the LW, family pictures with the LW are everywhere. Skids have nervous breakdowns over their father taking down pictures of their mother.
You don't need to celebrate or commemorate crazy BM's birthday or anniversary.
Even worse than a crazy BM is a former MIL who is distraught over her former Son-in-Law remarrying. But if there are minor kids, she's still involved in your life and you can't get rid of her. Nor can you stop her alienating the skids.
In a divorce, crazy BM takes all of her stuff. Wives of widowers get to deal with boxes of her junk in the basement or even worse her clothing still in the closet.
You can tell skids to STFU about BM. You can't tell skids to STFU about how wonderful their mom was and if you do, they will claim you hate their mother.
It's perfectly fine to hate crazy BM. Saying you hate the LW sounds rude. I'd love to be able to openly trash the LW the way the most of you trash BMs.
Anything you say that is remotely negative or expressive a less than positive opinion about anything the LW said, did or wore will be held against you by your skids. Saying you don't like the wallpaper their mother put up gets called insulting their mother's memory.
How do many wives of widowers make it work? Almost becoming a plural marriage type of situation where they accept that their husband loves another woman and they convince the skids that they love the sainted LW and worship her with them. :sick:
I'd take a drug addicted crazy BM who's in jail any day over a sainted LW.