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Normal for teen girl to sit of SD's lap??

PeanutandSons's picture

We were at dh's cousins house this weekend and his teenaged stepdaughter (somewhere around 14/15 yes old I'd guess) sat on his lap several times. The stepdaughter also would wrap her arms around her stepfather's neck in the pool and like hug/cling to his back.

Does that seem weird to you? It does to me. Heck, I'd find a t odd for a biological daughter to act that way with her own father at that age, let alone a step situation. Cousin has no l been with the mom for 5 years tops, so its not as if he raise this girl from birth or anything.

I mentioned it to dh on the way home that I found it inappropriate and he didn't see anything wrong with it. Said he would not think it was weird if sd10 sat on his lap. So I countered with how would he feel if she was sitting on and hanging all over bm's boyfriend? He just stared at me like it was a stupid thing to ask. I just said how I wouldn't have done that with my own father at that age, and it was weird to be all over an adult man, any man other than her boyfriend, at 15

RedWingsFan's picture

Yep, it's the mini wife syndrome. I had one of those to deal with for more than 2 yrs. She was horrible. Would hold DH's hand, fingers interlaced, everywhere we went. Sat on his lap CONSTANTLY, even at the dinner table. Tried spooning him on the floor watching tv, grabbing his arm and pulling it over her body, her butt in his crotch, holding his hand, fingers interlaced.

You know what got DH to realize the inappropriateness of it all? I took photos of he and his daughter at a HOCKEY game! Yes, a freaking NHL hockey game. Here she was, almost 13 yrs old, sitting on her dadddyyyyy's lap in the middle of a hockey arena. I took pics and she laid her head on his chest and grabbed him hand.

When he saw the photos he was shocked! He said "I didn't realize what this could LOOK like to the outside world. It looks like she's my girlfriend! Hell, I wouldn't have even let my GF sit in my lap like that at a hockey game!"

He then stopped all that bullshit. If stepdevil14 came and sat on his lap, he politely removed her and told her to find her own seat. If she grabbed his hand, he'd shake her loose and put his hand in his pocket and told her to walk along side him like every other teenage girl at the mall does with their parents, stop treating him like a boyfriend or a lifeline.

It got to the point that I almost left him early on in our relationship due to her mini wife behavior. Pretty gross!

Drac0's picture

I dunno. I am probably not the right person to comment on this because even as a child, I hate, hate, HATED being held, cuddled and bounced on the knee. If any adult tried to place me on their lap, my fists would start swinging. Contrarily my DW finds it is totally okay to let SS (he's 13) to lean on her, cuddle her and have him sit on her lap.

All this to say that yes, I find it very inappropriate, but what do I know? All I know is that if SS tried to sit on my lap I would be timing the "hang time" on the punt kick that would follow.

jojo68's picture

Yes mam...I too do not find that behavior appropriate but I guess there are some people who have no boundaries...I've seen it many times in my own situation and with others.

myspoonistoobig's picture


Anon2009's picture

This is creepy behavior coming from ANY man towards a teen girl. But it seems to happen. And then when it stops, these girls have real struggles. It's no wonder that the girls this happens to have so many issues, and this poor girl will likely join them, if she hasn't already.

Craving Normality's picture

My SO 's son who is 13 very soon was spooning him on the oouch last weekend. He is always sitting on his lap, on the arm of his chair, whatever, just basically on top of him. The minute I get out of bed he climbs in, to snuggle with dad. I find it sickening. I have an 18 year old son. He hasn't climbed into bed with me since he was about 6.

Craving Normality's picture

Nah, I correct that, he wasn't 6, he was 8 and it was the night my husband died. That's why I remember, cause it wasn't the norm, but he needed me that night.

EvilWickedSM's picture

SD15 is always trying to sit on people's laps, whether it be her father, my BIL, etc. She used to do it to me, but doesn't anymore. Just this weekend she sat on my BILs lap and he kept trying to get her off of him (kinda in a joking way, so as not to be mean) and she just wouldn't get off. She eventually did, of course, but her dad just sat there and thought it was cute...because, after all, every time she does something like that it's because she "loves" them, not because she is a PITA attention whore.

qtpie013178's picture

I stopped sitting on my bio dad's lap by ten years old, probably sooner. Even if he raised her from being a small child, say, under 5, it's inappropriate now.