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You're their mom to respond.

PeanutandSons's picture

Dh has said this to me twice in the past week. Both times the skids were within ear shot (in the car with us) so I didn't feel it was the best time time o get into a big discussion about it. I also didn't really know how to respond.

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or cause any bad blood in the family....but no, I am not their mom. I am their stepmother, that's it. They have moms....shitty absent mom, but moms none the less.

Any idea on how to gently explain to dh that while I will care for them as children in our family....that doesn't make them my children in the same way that my BSs are my children?

Kilgore SMom's picture

My DH says stuff like that sometimes too. Usally when DH wants me to keep SS while he goes and does something. I know thats manipulation and I call him on it. While I do all the work as a mother to and for SS. And I love SS dearly and would love for him to call me MOM. SS does have a Mother. Yes she is a POS drug addict. But as long as SS loves her that is his Mother. Now for any reason SS ever decided to call me Mom I would let him I think it is his choice to make. Being a mom is about loving a child and that love being returned. Not everyone can be a mom, some people just fill in. Which is what I'm doing. Dhs don't see it tht way. He thinks because I do everything that that is who I'am. We all know thats not so.