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Lost checkbook

Cover1W's picture

So, DH stepped in it with me just minutes ago.

Note that we have separate personal bank accounts and a joint 'house account' for household expenses ONLY.  I keep the information and banking on that one.  DH has a lot of debt and is generally not great with money.  He used the house account one time early on for a personal purchase, so I removed the debit card for that account to my wallet.  He paid that back right away.

Well today the balance on the account checking was ZERO.  WTH?  Did someone steal our $ or use our card number?  NOPE.  DH wrote himself a nice check.  It would have bounced, but luckily the bank over-drafted it, with a fee.  This must be how he paid for some of our recent weekend get-away! 

He didn't know the balance b/c he couldn't figure out how to enter the password info (I've given it to him before and he refused to have me access the account for him, on my offer anytime, so he can see the balances).  He recently asked me what the balances were and he wouldn't tell me why.  Well, now I know.  He's been out of checks for his personal checking account and for some reason hasn't ordered them yet - bet he needed $ and gambled on the fact that he could use that account as a personal fund.

I just sent him a lengthly IM letting him know that when he gets back (yes, he's on a personal trip no less) he owes the house account $X immediately to cover what he's borrowed from it.  It's not a slush fund but for home expenses and updates and it's my $ he's using as well.  He's in debt to me already and he's not doing the same to our needed house money.

I'm going to now remove all joint checks from the office. If he wants to discuss it fine, but you don't do this. Period.


ndc's picture

Does he pay any of the household bills from the account or do you take care of that (i.e., is there any need for his name to even be on the account, since he can certainly make deposits without being named)?  He has now shown, more than once, that he does not handle the joint account properly, so the natural consequence is that he has no access to the funds in the account.  Removing his access to the checkbook helps, but it doesn't prevent him from going to the bank and withdrawing the funds he wants/needs.

Cover1W's picture

I think removing the easy access is key.  He hates, hates talking with bankers and running errands so I don't see him going to the bank personally.  Like ever.  He can't even get himself to order checks for HIS account which requires a phone call.

ndc's picture

Haha!  Sometimes those annoying things that will drive you crazy, like refusal to run errands or do other simple tasks, pay off!

hereiam's picture

Well, my DH has gotten a little better with money over the years, but I am still better with all things financial, so we do things the same way we did when we first got together, almost 22 years ago.

We have ALL separate accounts, no joint. He gives me a certain amount of money each month towards bills and the household. He can put money into my account but cannot take it out.

Cover1W's picture

I don't trust him to pay me back with regularity.  I can get him to do auto-deposit to a joint account.

moving_on_again's picture

I am pretty lax about money but I would be livid. He took money withough having any clue!? Oh boy. 

Major Blunder's picture

I wish I had done the seperate finances, kinda late in the game for me now , I have hated paying for her useless kids and still hate it !!!!!

SteppedOut's picture

What if he doesn't have the money to "immediately" put back? (He already owes you!)

Personal trip when he owes you money??

Dang it I would be so darn mad!!

Cover1W's picture

oh, I'm POd and he knows it.  He ususally IMs me right back be he's been slow so far. 

OH LOOK - he finally addressed it.  Because he didn't have the $ to cover a personal bill.  I told him not again.  He says he has the $ now ( he got paid late last week ). 

I am mad!


Areyou's picture

My daughter’s father is irresponsible with money as well. It was the cause of our divorce 

Merry's picture

DH "borrowed" money from me one time. He got paid, didn't pay it back, spent money on himself and SS. I was pissed. Well, in his family "borrow" has a different meaning from what the rest of the universe thinks it means. He paid me back after he figured out I was mad and felt taken advantage of. He asked to borrow money again shortly after that. NOPE. "But but but SS NEEDS..." NOPE. 

Cover1W's picture

DH paid it back this morning - we had a good talk about it last night.  He gets money/emotions all entertwined which is a big no-no.  He still owes me personally but that's our ongoing payback which we are both in agreement with.

Harry's picture

From joint account, what is for paying household bills ??  Something I don’t understand, He didn’t have the money, Lost check book, is a story, If he had the money he could do a money transfer between accounts?  This is a major problem!!  Thanking money because he’s short, because he spends money on ???  Is not the way to live. All household Bills, get paid first, all Food bought, what left over ?   Left over money from the month,  so much money goes into savings,  a % into Vacations account, so much money into accounts for buying new car, buying new ??