It is war, IH.
My last post was about what I feel is an unfair balance between IH (idiot husband) and my contributions to our household. To recap, IH and I keep separate finances with IH contributing 2/3 to a "household" bank account and me contributing 1/3. I do 100% of the household chores and childcare for our 2 children together. When stepspawn lived with us, I was 100% responsible for his care as well.
I have been thinking a lot about why I do this. I do feel that my home, my children and even my IH are a reflection of me. My home is always clean, my children and my IH are always in neat and tidy dress and we eat 3 healthy, homemade meals a day. I contribute what I am able financially because I have always been financially self supporting and I go above and beyond what goes into the 'house account' because 1) I like to feel like I give my all and 2) I avoid my IH's mean rants about how much more he puts towards our finances. Except I am not avoiding the mean rants. I can pay and pay and pay but all he sees is this 'household account'. So I contribute 1/3 to the bills and pay bills outside of the account from my own personal account, but all he sees is the 1/3. Example (and this leads to the title mentioned WAR): on Easter, IH spent 2-1/2 hours in the bathroom. Showering, shaving, etc. I was getting DD4 and DD1 ready to go to relatives. IH gets out and dressed and goes to church. I stay home with the girls. He comes home and graciously allows me a shower. Except it is ice cold... We are out of oil. Ice shower for Lily.
We have argued in the past about household duties. I cook, clean, care for the girls... IH usually lists things he 'has to do' but never gets around to. Look, I will make gourmet meals and scrub the house like an OR but I expect IH can at least do mechanical maintenance things like check the oil tank. Fine. Ice shower for Lily. IH asks me to call for oil. Except he takes the debit card for the joint account in his wallet the next day and tells me to pay it out of my personal account. Says it is cheaper if I get cash. Ok. I have cash on hand for the delivery.
Here is where it gets fun. When we first bought the house, IH set up fuel delivery with his credit card because we had not opened the household account yet. After that he would take money from the house account and pay the credit card. NP, I use heat and hot water too. So the fuel company made an error and tried to run the credit card on account instead of deliver oil COD as I had requested. Thats why I ran out of oil... IH's card was declined. For those of you that don't remember from my last post, I just paid off half of IH's (sole) credit card debt a month ago to the tune of over $4,000. But I gave the money to IH, not the card company. How the F did the card get declined?!?!
I am ready to unleash a world of mother forking hell on him when I get home from work... But I think, 'now what would IH spend over $4,000 on?' There certainly isnt anything I have seen around my house to reflect $4,000. I look up stepspawn's Facebook... Guess who doesn't have a job but got a car almost a month ago? Ding ding ding ding!