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Jealous again

MadeMyBed's picture

Submitted by MadeMyBed on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 2:28pm

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I'll be the first to admit it: alot of the resentful feelings I have towards BM and SSs are jealousy. Im jealous that SSs will have their college education paid in full because a court order dictates it while Im 31 and will be paying student loans for the next 20 years because my parents didnt have money. Im jealous Im 31 and SS16 has an iphone, ipod touch, plasma, etc and will probably be getting an ipad for christmas and I have a crappy razor phone they dont even make anymore. Im jealous SS16 will probably get handed a decent car even though his grades are mediocre at best (wow, no D's this semster!) and sits around all day playing video games while I work 2 jobs to pay the mortgage. Im jealous BM has every other Friday off while i spend every Friday at my second job and cant even go out to lunch with a friend. Yep, Im jealous, I'll admit it!

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 2:45pm

I hear ya girlfriend! I do the same thing, I think it's normal.

I'm jealous that I have to pay for daycare for our 11 month old, but when loser BM needs someone to watch SS11 she just calls DH and gets a free babysitter. I'm jealous that BM is always complaining she has no money so that DH will buy things, but goes out to dinner and movies, goes on out of town trips at least once per month and all funded (in his CS payments and extra stuff he does for SS) by DH which also means by me. I'm jealous that BM only has to work part time thanks to her CS money while I work full-time and have a part-time job. I'm jealous that because BM is a total bitch, DH almost always caves into her demands, while because I am the nice guy, I just bite my tongue and pretend that everything is peachy while I am crying myself to sleep at night.

I try to remember that when I am feeling jealous and annoyed by my life that there is someone out there who is looking at ME and feeling that I have the perfect life and are jealous of what I have... I think no matter who you are there is always someone out there who is going to have it better than you and worse than you...

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 11/30/2010 - 2:52pm

You're only human, it's natural to feel jealousy.

I think something that would help is to focus on what you can control. You can control your behavior, attitude, and choices.

You can't control how SSs are parented. You cannot control their, DH's, or BM's behaviors. You can, however, choose to be treated with respect. If SSs, DH or anyone else are treating you with disrespect you can say, "I do not appreciate it when I am talked to rudely. Please speak to me in a respectful way." If they do not, you can leave. You do not have to stay in an environment where you are treated disrespectfully.

Have you ever talked with DH about giving the kids reasonable chores to do? That might help decrease your resentment.

Tara1025's picture

Submitted by Tara1025 on Sun, 12/12/2010 - 7:42pm

I'm so jealous of BM and I hate that she has that power over me. She does not work and lives off alimony, CS and her millionaire daddy. We scrape by to give her 3,000 a month...more than I make as a full time teacher! Then she plays the whole poor single mother routine. Makes me sick!