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Husband filing for visitation modification today. What can we expect? How long before he gets to see a judge?

Krissy09's picture

The kids have been asking us for a year if they can spend more time with us so my husband asked his ex-wife for a little more time with the kids and her response was "divorce your wife and I will give you more access to your kids." So with that said my husband is going to the court for modification instead of trying to negotiate something with her.

The current schedule is Friday at 8pm to Sunday at 8pm every other weekend and every Monday from 6pm to 8pm.

Since he is off on Mondays he is going to ask the judge to allow the kids to spend Sunday night with us (on the weekends they are already with us) so he can take them to school on Monday morning and pick them up after school. He is going to ask the judge to allow him to continue returning the the kids home at 8pm every Monday night.

Basically he is asking for 2 extra nights a month and to pick them up from school twice a month.

That is part 1.

Part 2 is...

BM does not participate in the pick up and drop off of the kids. She "sits on her princess throne" as I call it and waits for them to be returned to her. This is something she asked for in the divorce and my husband didn't want to waste more money arguing with her so he agreed to it.

But 4 years later he is asking that she participate in the pick up and drop off.

No questions about it my husband and I are fit parents, child support has never once been late, the proposed schedule is more than doable between the two of us, and the kids have been begging for it. We are in no way deadbeats. My husband damn near begs BM for a few more hours with the kids but she sticks to the court order like gorilla glue.

1.) Husband turns in the paperwork today...historically, about how long has it taken to get in front of a judge?

2.) Given proposed schedule what are the chances that a judge will approve it?

3.) What are the chances a judge will require BM to be involved in the drop off or return?

This is our first time going to court for anything so we are both a little nervous!

Thanks in advance for your responses!

Krissy09's picture

I appreciate your honestly! I am so oblivious when it comes to the court system. I heard judges can be pretty brutal so I am a little scared. My husband and his kids deserve a little more time together and BM is one hateful evil person when it comes to allowing him to see them for 1 extra minute. It would break my heart to hear a judge deny them more time together.
And BM is an EXCELLENT pitty party thrower, deceiver, and manipulator, even though she may be one of the luckiest BMs on the planet.

Krissy09's picture

They have a very detail orientated schedule. Probably even includes a Hawaiian holiday that no one has even heard of lol

Thank you for the well wishes!!

Jsmom's picture

Here in GA, the judge won't get it until after it has gone to mediation. With that, we learned ask for more than what you want and you will probably come out okay.

I would just go for 50/50, one week on and one week off. Better for the kids and you. We had that schedule and the kids said they never knew where they were waking up. For us, it was great the last couple of years we had it. The got on the bus at one house on Monday and off at the other house that afternoon. No clothes exchanged, just came with backpacks. It was great, we never had to see BM.

misSTEP's picture

That was some of the best advice that our lawyer gave too. Ask for more than your bottom line so you have a place to negotiate down to.

SMof2Girls's picture

DH filed for a modification of custody in October 2014. The modification is basically to just cement the schedule they were following in practice into court order. BM had refused to agree up to that point, despite all the history and evidence that that's what they'd be doing.

Our county requires mediation, scheduling conferences, settlement conferences, and pre-trial merits hearing before going to open court. This is all done to strongly encourage parents to settle and NOT pursue court. Their merits hearing is scheduled for June 25-26. If no settlement is reached before then, they will go to court to battle out their cases in October 2015. So about a year from initial filing to final decision. And thousands of dollars (because your attorney is required for every step of the process).