You are here

TEXAS Advice Needed - Reduction in Child Support

CBCharlotte's picture

This has felt like a bad dream and I haven't even been able to type it, let alone process it.

SO found out on Friday he is being laid off effective June 3rd. Between 2 BMs, he pays almost $5,500....Yes, that is not a typo. He agreed to ridiculous sums during mediation to help his guilt.
Backstory:
BM1 who has SD15 and SD12 is a reasonable and responsible person. She truly does need the $ of her child support. She is frugal, plans spending in advance, and works with SO and I to keep additional costs to a minimum. We feel badly about having to lower child support and will work with her to try and come to some agreement.

BM2 who has SS5 and SS4 remarried 3 months after the divorce (her argument she was a "struggling single mom" who "only" made $90k per year without child support). Technically, one of the kids (SS5) is not biologically SO's.....she cheated with her ex. SO signed the birth certificate and tried to make things work. Then 1 year later she when things were on the rocks she "accidentally" got pregnant with a "miracle" baby after telling SO she couldn't have more children. She also now has a new baby with her husband #3 and got pregnant 1 month after getting engaged to him.

My question pertains to BM2, who lives in Texas (we are in NC). Has anyone filed for child support modification in Texas? We just got a letter saying we are eligible for review, and it could not be better timing. Is this one where you just file your financial info and it just gets ruled by a judge? They letter states we can request a review and state our reasons for seeking one.

Our reasons include:
-SO is unemployed and has zero income (he will get a severance that will last a few months)
-One of the children is not biologically his
-SO signed the mediation agreement because the boys were in an expensive preschool and BM2 said she was a struggling single mom. One of the boys is entering public elementary school and BM2 was engaged 1 month after the divorce, pregnant 1 month after that, and married 2 months after that.

How much does the state expect you to lose to pay child support? Does your household expenses go into it? Do they expect us to lose our house in order to pay child support? Do they expect you to sell the house and use the money for child support? Then we will have nowhere for SD15 and SD13 to visit us EOW and during holiday breaks and summer time, and nowhere for SS5 and SS4 to visit on holiday breaks and summer time.

I'm trying to figure out how likely we are to get a reduction, since his child support amount was decided in mediation and not by the state. I believe the state max on child support is somewhere around $1,800 for 2 kids. I was saying we should propose to lower it $X (to be decided by the judge) while he is unemployed with an agreement to raise it to the state max of $1,800 once he is employed again? I do not want to go back to paying that wench $2,900 for two kids, one of which isn't even biologically his.

Any advice? Anyone go through something like this in Texas? Please any help would be greatly appreciated.

Comments

Unfreakingreal's picture

That a man would sign the BC of a child they KNOW is not theirs is just beyond insane. However, if I am not mistaken, ALL states base CS off of income. If there is no income, the CS should be reduced significantly.
Good luck, this sounds awful.

thinkthrice's picture

I was talking to an assistant DA (who was once a pub defender) who told me that two states he did NOT want to represent fathers in for downward mods were 1. NY and 2. Texas.

The fact that he signed the BC AND was voluntarily OVERpaying CS is a HuGe RED FLAG!!!

I know b/c the guy I'm with (whose three kids are ALL PASed out) voluntarily paid his ENTIRE SALARY when we first met for six months to the BM out of guilt--with not a CENT to me--my spidey senses were going off at the time and I kick myself EVERY DAY for not showing him the door WAAAAY back then.

These men often feel that when they get together with a woman, her "maternal" instincts and LOOOOOOVVVEE for him will cause her to sacrifice everything she has financially, emotionally, etc. to subsidize and prop up HIS previously enjoyed family. SOOOO wrong!!

I hope everything turns out well for you.

CBCharlotte's picture

He will be looking for another job. We just got the news he was laid off and it is effective this Wednesday. He has a call with a headhunter today about a job, and is going to a conference mid-june to network as well.

QueenBeau's picture

If he signed the birth certificate & has been acting as the father (paying CS etc) it's too late. He pays for that kid until he's an adult.

But yes CS should go down if your SO is laid off.

zerostepdrama's picture

Sorry that you are in this situation.

I think since he doesn't have a job that they will take that into account. However, they will see that he is an employable man and they will also take that into consideration.

Just a side note. It doesnt matter what BM2 did after she divorced your SO. How long after the divorce she got engaged, how long after she got married and how long after she got pregnant. That has nothing to do with your current situation so I would just cut that out of your thinking. It has nothing to do with you and your SO. Not now and not before. IMO thinking negatively of her situation is only going to complicate your situation and plan of what you guys need to do.

furkidsforme's picture

The fact that she remarried and got pregnant has nothing to do with his support for his children. He is obligated to help support his children, regardless of if his ex remarries.

Same with if he remarries, the amount he must pay does not go up just because he now has access to two incomes.

kathc's picture

actually, that depends on the state...in some states, if he has full, unrestricted access to his new wife's money (for example, a joint checking account) they can try adding in her money with his for calculation purposes.

thinkthrice's picture

You beat me to it kathc!!

UNLESS you're in certain states like NY which will "consider" the income of a non-custodial parent's new spouse--not dollar for dollar but to the extent where it "lessens the household expenses for the NCP"

https://www.nycourts.gov/forms/familycourt/pdfs/4-17.pdf
(see item 7 on page 2)

http://family.findlaw.com/child-support/child-support-determining-parent...
(see bullet point 14)
As you can see this is for determining the income of the N CP. No mention on using the C P's new husband's income in those very same calculations.

CBCharlotte's picture

TX is a state that the new spouse income doesn't matter. Which I'm glad for, I don't want her going after my money!

The point I was trying to make is that she was being deceptive, playing the "poor single mom" card knowing that would not be the case for long. I'm hoping we can get things altered/

zerostepdrama's picture

Well CS isnt calcuated off of emotions. So CS didnt come up with that amount for BM because she was playing the "poor single mom". The amounts was due to set, state mandated caculations that apply to every person in the CS agency.

CBCharlotte's picture

He agreed to it in mediation. BM2 had a lawyer, SO did not. There was no judge, state mandated calculation etc

zerostepdrama's picture

Well hopefully he will have the state mandated caculation now. Possible that he got "played" by BM thinking she was a "single mom" and feeling bad about that. But sounds like he knew some of her sketchy history so he only has himself to blame. He needs to make sure his CS is caculated by the State moving forward.

thinkthrice's picture

A man who goes to mediation/court vs. the BM without a lawyer is like a man who lays his johnny longfellow on railroad tracks, looks the other way and hopes for the best as the orange blossom special rounds the tracks and chugs ever closer.

I warned my "SO" (Chef) NOT to go to mediation/court without a lawyer. So did a lot of other people including his oldest brother who had been divorced several times before. Did he listen? Nope. I don't feel one iota responsible for him PURPOSELY spreading his seed so he could spawn with the Girhippo.

AllySkoo's picture

Is your SO eligible for unemployment? I'm not sure about TX, but where we live, when my DH was laid off and collected unemployment they used that figure as his "income" and based CS off that.

misSTEP's picture

I am pretty sure that your DH can request that the CS get set to the state formulas or less considering he was involuntarily laid off/terminated.