The Hurtful games from OSD and SIL

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It's been a year and a half since OSD decided to cut DH out of her life, and that of sgkids. And of course about a year since SIL did the same

All because DH finally stood up for what was right and took a stand against their mistreatment of him, and especially me, as a result of their jealous insecure need to lash out at us with their hurtful games

Well it was DH's birthday yesterday, a big one as he turned 65...I figured if they actually decided to grow up already and show some human class and maturity and call him considering he has done nothing wrong but stand up to their crap, not to mention he just turned 65 and in the middle of a pandemic, that maybe there might be hope that they're not completely evil

On the other hand, if they continued to hold their pathetic grudge and continue in silence, in my books they would be the lowest of the low

While, they sure have shown their true colours yet again

Of course no phone call or contact from either, not that DH is truly upset about it at this point, But he does miss the skgids and it's hard for him not to have contact with them

I did the best to make sure DH had a wonderful day anyway with lots of phone and video calls with our friends and my family, he had his favorite foods and dessert, I got him a great gift and we had a nice day

But I can't help but wonder how on earth his sister and his daughter can go to bed knowing they are behaving like this when they in fact are ones with the problem, how they could wake up the next day knowing they did that and not feel an ounce of guilt, shame or remorse

Evil, evil behavior

I don't have a relationship

I don't have a relationship with my mom anymore. She's made some pretty detrimental life choices and it's just not something I care to be a part of. I've wondered many times how she could choose these things over her own kids. But I realize that it has nothing to do with me. This is about her own problems she has to deal with, and until she does deal with them, she probably isn't capable of being the person I want or need her to be. All I can really do is live my life the best I can and wait and see. But when I remove myself and all the ways I personally feel wronged from the equation, it's much easier to understand her and even feel empathy for her sometimes.

You are expecting these people to follow the same moral compass as you, which is why it's so hurtful and shocking when they don't. It's in our nature to expect the best of people, and an unfortunate side effect of that is it sets us up to be let down. But take your personal feelings out of it for a moment and try to inspect the psychology behind it all. It's deeper than just your husband standing up to them. If you can begin to understand the why behind some of their actions, it will help you to also gain some empathy for them, displace yourself from the situation somewhat and move on. You also have to let go of any expectation that they will magically come around and do the right thing. They may or may not, but it's entirely out of your control. Because--back to that whole moral compass thing--theirs is not the same as yours, and there's nothing to be done about it unless or until they eventually decide to address their own issues. In the meantime, make yourselves whole and happy. So maybe one day if you do all come back together, you can accept them without resentment in your heart.

You are right of course Holly

You are right of course Holly and for sure I can't put my moral standards on them, but they glaringly lack human compasion and decency, at least in this situation

Of course it''s momumentally more than anger of DH standing up to them

It's the fact that he was standing up for me, the person that makes them so jealously insecure

And they are so used to DH & I trying to take the high road, not get sucked into their drama, keep the peace, that they've mistaken that for their behavior being acceptable to us

It's not, and I won't forgot that they couldn't get over their nasty insecurities enough to show some decency to DH

I didn't expect a whole lot more from them, but now that they've confirmed how low they can go, they couldn't be more disgusting to me

I too have wondered how these

I too have wondered how these people can sleep at night. What wrongs do they feel have been done to them to justify their poor behavior?

A few years ago OSD was in the middle of her Big Silence to DH. We had a Cat 5 hurricane headed right to our town. OSD still didn't budge and didn't check on her father. Before, during or after. I wrote her off permanently after that.

I am glad your DH still had a good birthday. My DH is a few years older than yours, and we have a big 70 coming up in a few years. Should we have a party and invite the SDs? lol