OSD Playing the "I'll walk out of your life card" and just never learns!
Over a year ago OSD cut DH (us) out of her life
She has a history of playing this card whenever she doesn't get what she wants
As early in life as about 10 years old (didn't know her or DH then) but that was when DH & BM split and the first time OSD pulled that on DH by deciding she didn't want to see him for scheduled visitations. BM apparently didn't give OSD a choice in the matter and she saw DH on his scheduled visitation
The next time OSD pulled this was a few years later when DH & I had been together for about a year or so. OSD was having lots of issues with BM and her SO, OSD couldn't stand BM's SO (OSD's SF) and gave BM an ultimatum - it was her or SF. Again, BM didn't put up with that crap and told OSD that if she couldn't stand living with her and her SO then she could go live with DH (especially becuase OSD at the time made it clear that she just loved, loved, LOVED me - I now know her well enough to know it was simply manipulation) DH & I had just moved in toghether about a week before but whatever, I was certainly fine with it, and in moved angry then 16 OSD
The next time OSD played this card was a couple of years after she moved in with us and living with DH & I filltime. She became extremely jealous and insecure about the relationship between DH & I, and after working steadily at trying to create a wedge between DH & I and not doing so to her sastisfaction, she gave DH an ultimation: it was her or me. Like BM, DH didn't give in to OSD's demand and she became even angrier and not only moved back in with BM, refused to rarely set foot in our home, and the only time we saw her was family event's of DH's in which she treated us, me in particular, with frightening hostility and exclusion. The harder we (I) tried to fix the situation the more OSD upped her antics. She basically forced me into a unwanted disengagement - since she basically did nothing more than snarl at me and make something close to animal noises when I was stupid enough to simply say hello to her - I finally gave her want she "wanted" and stopped trying. This was after going through sheer shock, denial, hurt, anger and sadness to finally acceptance that the SD I thought adored me and who I had up until then adored back, in fact depised the ground I walked on. And when I reached the acceptance stage of this, I refused to do so with anything other than an upbeat positive demeanor at absolutely every family function of DH's family, which eventually I think led to OSD taking steps to reenage with me
For the years that followed OSD when through her cycles and of hate/love with me until I caught on and stopped enabling her mistreatment towards me.
Once she had sgkids however she had a new card to play
She wasted no time in playing that card
This time it was directed at BM. Once again over BM's SO. OSD demanded that when she come over during the holidays that BM's SO leave the house - even though he lived there - as OSD felt Christmas for example was for her and YSD and their families to spend with BM only, and BM's SO could go spend it with 'his own family' When OSD's SF didn't cooperate, OSD refused to go to BM's place and BM went 1, 2 maybe 3 years without seeing OSGS because OSD withheld him. Eventually it was sorted out by a meeting with BM, her SO and OSD and that poor man - OSD's SF - was kissing ass by the looks of it, so BM could see her grandson
But OSD didn't stop there, as soon as DH did any little thing she didn't like, we didn't get to see sgkids. Even when we had a visit with them scheduled for a weekend and all sorts of activities lined up, at the last minute OSD said nope, not happening.
But of course last year was the ultimate, when once again she felt jealous of DH standing up when OSD and SIL were deliberately trying to manipulate DH & I, OSD played this card once again
I'm amazed that she plays it over and over - especially with us - thinking it gives her power and that she might get what she wants. Which is of course to make DH choose her over me and DH refuses to participate in this game
She fully expects that although she has cut us out; doesn't acknowledge DH on his birhtday, or Father's Day, or mine (not that she ever does acknowledge mine) but boy, if DH isn't right on the phone calling her on her birthday she is outraged.
DH did not call OSD this year on her birthday after all that, but I know it was very hard for him not to call sgkids on their birthdays. And we would have if we could actually talk to them but no way OSD would allow it even so much as to pass on the message.
But I think by DH & I once again giving OSD what she says she "wants" instead of playing into her power trip, she has lost - not gained - any power in this situation. All she has accomplished is losing all opportunity to get what she wants from DH, and all ability to manipulate this situation any longer