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Anyone have skids that still manipulate (play parent off parent etc..) although they are now adults?

Disillusioned's picture

My OSD has always played parent off parent, parent off step-parent, step-parent off step-parent, has even tried this with my siblings and I Blum 3

I've started to catch on to some really out there crap she has been trying between BM and I lately, when it comes to the sgkids

For example, she leads BM to believe that I'm at her place and see sgkids more often than is true. BM will make comments to me that indicate she thinks I'm there all the time, and know tons about what goes on, that I change the young ones diapers, etc...

And while OSD would never ever so much as say thank you to me directly for anything Dh "& I" buy for them, apparently BM walks around OSD's house saying "Wow, there sure are a lot of nice things here from Grandma Disillusioned"

OSD will go on and on to DH (in my presence of course) about all the many times BM is with the sgkids, how much they looooovvvvve her, etc..., but then trains them to run directly to me whenever there is an event we're all at yelling "Grandma Disillusioned!" ....and they only do it when BM and I are together. Otherwise, when it's just a family event of DH's that he and I are at, they have been trained to ignore me - not that they do for long Biggrin

I couldn't figure out why BM seemed so possessive of skgids around me, carrying them around and making sure everyone knows SHE is the grandma. But, I should have known, it's OSD enjoying manipulating people as she always has, and unfortunately BM is actually believing it all

How does everyone else handle this?

For my part, I just keep my distance from all the drama including sgkids, especially when BM is around. Hopefully one day she'll wake up and see what's really going on, with her manipulative daughter!

CLove's picture

Good afternoon! Yes, there have been SO VERY many instances of "being played" I have experienced. It hasn't been too long for me - 3 years - and SDs are very much younger so no Gskids.

But a few months back, when the BM live-in Boyfriend/dufus was helping us move furniture, he happened to let slip something about SD17 telling him how awesome I am and how I do all these really great things for her and how much SD17 really cares for me. Dufus is the one who will wash her dishes, clean her room and drive her a$$ around...

I had to laugh, because SD17 had just got caught shoplifting, was a total B!tch to me, until I disengaged and now we are civil. Good morning, good evening, hello, goodbye. Please put X away.

I don't give her rides, do anything/buy anything special for her, we don't say more than two words. I told him she was playing him majorly.
LOL. Not even very smart about it!

SD17's favorite is to tell BM things that I have said or done, or things that go on in our household. She frequently lies about things I have said, and since BM and I do not communicate at all, she has a low chance of being caught. EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE TIME A FEW MONTHS AGO. The details are in a blog I wrote a while ago, it happened around October last year. I said something that ticked SD17 off tremendously. She said many vile and horrible things. Then told me how much she hated me. Over and over again, many times. SOOOOOOOOO she went to BMs to cool off, and told hr BM that ME, CLOVE was the person who said all these horrible things. SO had heard everything but he tries to avoid anything to do with BM. Well the truth came out and SD17 was asked "did CLOVE in fact and reality say all these things to you dearest princess snowflake?"
She still tried to maintain the lie and when it was no longer possible to do so, acted like she was a crazy person. SO told her that was "unmanageable".

Disillusioned's picture

Wow Clove, are SD's could be one and same person!

Very interesting...and you've just helped me to see that this is not so unique

So messed up