How do you come to terms with your SO’s family hating you?
It’s quite funny actually. They used to not hate me. Now they do. I believe it has to do with me getting more opinionated on DH’s life with his kids when it affects me and also me being a SAHM.
When I get more opinionated, it’s when it affects me. For example, biobleh had no choice but to sign the kids up for school in this state while still living where she was. Complications arose with her son’s school and them not being able to accept him for tax purposes unless she was willing to pay out-of-state tuition OR write a letter explaining her situation and confirming the kids would be staying with my DH (proof they had residency here). She wanted to do neither. She went to another school 15 minutes away and this time used a friend’s address so they had to accept him there. Of course, this meant DH would have to take him to that school instead of the one 7 minutes away because she didn’t want to state on paper that they wouldn’t be staying with her. DH has been using my car for over a year now (my car is the most reliable of the two). We both came to an agreement that because of biobleh’s lack of planning, unnecessary arrangements would have to be made on his part. And also, I didn’t want him using my car everyday to travel to the school far away when there’s a bus stop for the school he was supposed to go to right in front of our house. It might be childish, but it’s my car and unnecessary miles going into it. I don’t know if biobleh, DH’s mom and sisters stopped to think “Oh, yeah it’s her car.” or if they just don’t give a sh*t. Oh well.
The SAHM part. I’ve been a SAHM since my daughter was born. It was supposed to only be a year, but is going on 2 now. We’re lucky I can do this. I know not everyone has the choice to. It gets lonely and sometimes I wonder if I have depression, so it has it’s downfalls. But being able to always be with my daughter is the best. DH texted his sister the other day to vent about biobleh and putting him in collections. Her response “We all have bad days.” She managed to fit in there something about me “living like a queen” and real women work hard. Women like biobleh work and this and that. First off, what does this have to do with me? I get the impression that DH’s 2 sisters and biobleh talk sh*t about me (they work together) and then if they’re all together at DH’s mom’s house they talk anout me some more (his mother included). So then they get this pent up anger and that’s why this random outburst happened. Second, they go back and forth on who they like and who they talk crap about, I’ve noticed. Before they hated biobleh, now they’re using her as a good example of a “real woman”? Laughable. DH thinks it comes down to jealousy and how his sister’s ex has recently moved on with someone younger too. And how she can’t stay at home more with her son. They also seemed to have forgotten that for many years when DH was with biobleh, she also didn’t work.
I’m pretty sure they also hate that DH bought a new house (his first ever) and they feel I’m leeching off him bc I don’t work. DH was able to get this house because of the both of us. I encouraged him to boost his credit score and he was able to pay off debts because I also payed rent on our townhome. When we finally began searching, I was the one always looking for potential homes. I was the one that did all paperwok except sign. If it weren’t for my $1000 (used for escrow) we wouldn’t have a house. I’m annoyed that people talk before coming to get information from the people they love talking about. Oh and we’re currently fully remodeling the kitchen through insurance money since we had a grease fire a couple of months ago. Just remembered how when DH told his sister the news he said she almost laughed. How disgusting. So now I think she’s even more bitter because our home is really going to be nice.
I’ve come to the conclusion that this family eventually hates whoever is with their son/brother if that son/brother eventually stops doing everything they say i.e starts acting like the family man that he is. (Just to clarify, I mean including me in decisions. I do not think it’s his duty to take care of me. I appreciate everything he does for me and let him know this always.)
I just try to remind myself that I’m in a relationship with DH not his family and that I don’t need people like that to like me.