Holiday calls
Hi All,
As is our usual holiday tradition, we are fighting.
I'm just wondering...for those with friends and family near and far, who do you call on the actual holiday to make holiday greetings? Do you call each kid? Your mother across the country? Do you call each of your siblings, no matter where they are? Do you also call friends to say "Happy Thanksgiving?"
If you're calling three or four people on a holiday to make greetings, do you make a point to abridge the calls so you aren't on the phone for three hours?
When he asked what I wanted to do for Thanksgiving, I told him three things. When I asked what he wanted to do, he said, "Those things sound fine to me!" So I was surprised he spent nearly three hours of another holiday making calls to every relative...I didn't budget for that, so half the day was over before we even began doing anything together. That made it sort of a short holiday...we didn't even get to dinner before the fight erupted.
Just wondering what's normal. My family is fractured, so holiday calls are not big anymore. It seems he's forgoing the person in the room (me) for people on the other side of the country, who all have significant others who planned festivities for them. It was great hearing about what all his relatives were doing for Thanksgiving. We did pretty much nothing.
Thanks all for your thoughts -- hope you're staying safe and sound!
I'm the call recipient. Lol
Im 75 so they call ME! Lol. Each of the 5 BKs and SKs calls here, if we dont see them. We each talk to them briefly. Some of the 9 GKs call or text, too. I call my 97yo mom but usually I'm with her. She's in long-term so I can't see her.
I called no one but my mom
I called no one but my mom called me and we talked for about half an hour since there are three of us me and two brothers I figure she was on the phone maybe 2 hours
People know to text me. Lol.
People know to text me. Lol.
As an introvert...
Same. Please don't call me 'cause I'll just watch my phone ring.
I call my brother and a few
I call my brother and a few friends. He calls his sisters. But, not on the holiday itself. We call on either the weekend before or the weekend following.
Kids. We usually see mine on the holiday itself, but this year not. Both called. His kids we don't see on holidays. Some years they call. Some years they don't. This year they both called. It was a Thanksgiving miracle. All children calls under five minutes on the day itself.
Calls are made to immediate
Calls are made to immediate family only. Duration is brief and time frame is usually not too early but before noon for sure.
. It's not like we cant chit chat on other days.
This is a weird year so it's
This is a weird year so it's not really normal. I tend to call my family more the day before or after a holiday so I have time to chat. I talked to my parents and brother (they were all together) for like 3 hours on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.
My husband calls his family on the day of and the phone gets passed around so everyone does a quick greeting. He usually talks to SD on holidays but she can't even be bothered to lately.
We call our parents. The kid
We call our parents. The kid calls us. We call a few friends. A few friends call us.
Sounds like a lot of phone time!
Who does the cooking and prepping for the in-house holiday if everyone is on the phone?
Not much at all actually.
Speaker phone. We all talk and visit while the prep is happening. Considering that the prep starts about two weeks ahead of time, there is plenty of time to visit on speaker while the final fixing is happening.
Everyone calls my mom, so
Everyone calls my mom, so whoever is with mom hears from everyone else. Otherwise, it more likely to be a text saying Happy Thanksgiving!
At least that's how it was in the past - now that Zoom is commonplace, we set up a Zoom call this year on Thanksgiving and all 4 of us siblings zoomed in to talk for an hour or so. I don't call anyone outside of that group.
DH doesn't reach out to his family on holidays, he will at times get a happy whatever text from one of them as well.
3 hours seems excessive.
Yea, and judging by these
Yea, and judging by these replies, many don't even speak in person on the actual holiday and certainly not for hours.
Contrary to what he says, I do not come between him and his precious family. But jesus, a little moderation of time would make it feel like I wasn't a leftover to be stored after he's out of people to call.
I wouldn't have minded it so much except that when I gently raised the, "I wish we had planned our meal and day a little better," at 7:30 p.m., after we'd just ruined the food we had tried to rush to prepare, he threw the calls in my face and immediately said I was just hurt because my own parents rushed me off the phone after 10 minutes.
Ouch.
While everyone else had Tom Turkey for Thanksgiving, I was stuck with Dick.
UGH. And A$$.
Not good. Time to start some new traditions that exclude both of those.
Our kids call us. We'll
Our kids call us. We'll usually talk with some of our various siblings around the holiday, but not necessarily ON the day.
When my DD called me I was in the middle of cooking and had my hands full. Showed her what I was working on, we had a laugh, and agreed to talk the next day. SO that was five minutes, with plenty of laughter. I think SD called DH, but I didn't talk with her (either way is ok with me). SS called and he talked with both DH and me. But that was probably 10 minutes for me, maybe longer for DH and didn't interrupt anything else.
I have NO problem telling anyone that I'm in the middle of something, let's talk later. DH has more trouble with that, but he's still not likely to delay any particular plans we have. He's done that before and it didn't end well.
We had several projects planned for yesterday, but ditched it all to watch football and eat pizza. It was great.
Calls
I call my Mom and Dad. My husbands family have been doing zoom calls. Which is hard because everyone likes to talk, and they talk over each other.
I call my parents, we usually
I call my parents, we usually call my SO's mother. This Thanksgiving we called my parents (brief 10 minutes or so, just to say Happy Thanksgiving, what are you guys up to today, etc.) and SO had a Zoom call with his mother and siblings, which included Toxic SD (who spent Thanksgiving Day with her aunt). We were with a couple of close friends in Napa so I stayed on the Zoom call for 10 minutes or so just to say hi and Happy Thanksgiving, then popped off to spend time with our friends. Toxic SD was on looking surly and sullen, still upset she can't spend the holiday with us and make more drama, lol. SO stayed on the Zoom call for a half hour, but they have a large family so it takes a while for everyone to get through even brief updates.
So a total of 40 minutes or so on calls for both of us. Other family (my sister, cousins, friends, etc) we just wish a happy holiday by text or social media and speak on some other day.
3 hours making individual calls is a bit long and can mess up timing for the meal, which is supposed to be what the day is centered around. I can understand your frustration.