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H ex step daughter

SweetMom's picture

she doesn't come over unless it's christmas to get free gifts and when she first came around she was rude to me. She started calling him daddy when he married me. She's 14 now. When h and I married she was 10. She hasn't talked to him or me In a year until last week she came with her half sister with us to spring break vacation where we done some cool stuff and spent lots of $. There were other kids at the place we were at and she went with them the entire time, ignoring us and her little sister. I was so happy to see the rude girl go. She was rude to my h and to me. Last night she called h on his cell late to ask him what radio station he was listening too. She wants him divorced and back with her mom so bad but that's not gonna happen. If she continues to start coming back over regularly I'm not gonna be a nice person to her rudeness. She stairs at me in disgust and makes me feel ugly. She makes weird faces when I eat, she snap chats who ever and I know she is taking pictures of me to mimic poke fun, she has turned his mother, father and friends against me. She calls him insulting names and orders shrimp platters to only eat just 2 shrimps and says she is full. She says he is whipped by me. When she is over she ask only him if she can do something like I don't exist. I'm a step mom just like he is a step dad except she is his ex step kid but treats me as a shaggy girlfriend. She has said in the past she was glad I miscarried a baby because it wasn't a actual baby and didn't exist. I never said anything directly to her face, I never fronted her on h not responsible for her. Why does she continue to come over and insult us both? We have been nothing but good to her. Why don't she just stay at her moms?

Ninji's picture

Why does your DH still let her come over, that's the question.

My SO has two ExSKids. He still texts with them and one lives with his parents.

His EXSS is not allowed at our home because the first and last time he came over for the weekend, he didn't listen to anything I said and thought he should have different rules than SS and SD. Not in my house.

SO's EXSD lives with his dad and SM. She isn't banned from my house but I don't want her over because she does nothing but bad mouth BM. I don't want to hear about BM good or bad.

At first SO and I argued about this. I just keep telling him I didn't start dating and move in with a man with 4 kids. I'm in a relationship with a man that has 2 kids (BM refused to allow EXSKids to see SO for almost two years after they divorced) I also told him I wasn't raising anymore of BM's kids and that if I was gonna raise 4 kids, two would be my bios.

Now SO gets it that I'm not putting up with EXSkids. It's enough with his bios to deal with.

You need to tell your SO you don't want her at your house anymore. He is welcome to take her to the park or lunch but you won't be involved.

SweetMom's picture

IWhen my h and the BM divorced, she wouldn't let her visit with him. Only his bd went with him. It wasn't until he moved in with me that she let her come. Even at 10 his ex step d was rude. They spoil her at BM house but not the younger one which is h bd. my sd is 11 now and still hasn't gotten her phone like her sister has had since 10 and promised by BM. Sd11 is sorta of a mini wife which is another issue. To be honest I wish the other wouldn't come and record everything I do because she takes it back to BM and BM copies my everything, hair, make up, ways..it's weird. I'm thinking she just comes to be BM eyes and ears. H insist on her coming so he can look like a hero it seems

Ninji's picture

Your SO needs to treat her like any other visiting child. If you don't behave you don't get to visit. She's not his bio she so she is just that - a visiting child to the home. The visits are earned. Period.

SweetMom's picture

I'm venting because everyone like fil, mil, and certain friends are making out making me feel like it's my fault. Mil told me I had some hang ups because I said I wouldn't want my h wearing our wedding band if I died that I would want him to close that book and move on. She said I had some hang ups and I said no I don't and ahe said YES YOU DO In a rude way. She never ever had been rude to me like that. All the kids was at the table and it pissed me off even more that she done that I front of my son And both girls.

Ninji's picture

MIL is the same way. She once told me that SO would never love me if I didn't love his EXSkids. Yeah ok.

My MIL also loves to tell me "8 is enough" meaning her 4 bio grandkids and BM's 4 bio kids are enough grandkids. Like I would let her determine whether or not SO and I have kids together.

Is the child's bio father in the picture at all. Does she visit with him?

SweetMom's picture

The kids bio father isn't in the picture . The BM once tried to introduce them in Walmart and he ignored both. I think the bio doesn't think she is his. She tried to attach to her moms husband she was married to for a short while and now trying to attach to my h but as me as a girlfriend or something . She has tried to do the parent trap thing too. I told him it wasn't healthy for our marriage to have his ex step daughter coming over but he does it so his bio d will have someone to hang around and feel more comfortable but this last time it didn't work at all. The kid totally ignored her sister. Mil and fil are divorced. Fil remarried so I have to deal with that bitch too trying to win brownie points with h. They all refer to his ex step daughter as a grand kid. Presents they give her for Christmas gets tossed aside. I'm telling you, having her come over is not helping her. She's 14 and I can see the damage happening. Her BM needs to take her and do something special with her while her sister is at our house.

AllySkoo's picture

I'm sorry, I couldn't really follow the rest of what you said because I was stuck on this:

The BM once tried to introduce them in Walmart

Does that really, REALLY say that BM tried to introduce her daughter to said daughter's father in Walmart? Introduce, as in, old enough for introductions and yet never met? IN WALMART???

The mind... it boggles....

SweetMom's picture

Lol I'm sorry. The story so long I was trying to cram all in at once because it bothers me. Yes, the BM tried to introduce her for the first time to her bio father but he dodge them and never spoke again