So,I have mentioned in the past the I get along great with BM- Talk nearly everyday... about SS of course and sometimes other silly issues. BUT- this all changed on Friday...
SS has been having a VERY hard time sleeping in his own room. To the point that he will just sit on his bed for hours (2 to be exact before he got too tired and just PASSED OUT). Come to find out he sleeps with BM OFTEN. We knew that they shared a room... she has a one bedroom apartment. BUT he has his own bed and sleeping in his own room has NEVER been an issue in the past. He has lived with DH and I (and my 2 girls) 50% of the time since he was 1, so he grew up with his own room. Why this sudden change in behavior??? When I asked BM if she was sleeping in his bed she honestly told me YES- I just miss him so much when he is at your house, I can't help but crawl in bed with him.
This is the conclusion that I have come up with (as I have OVER analyzed the situation for the past 5 days). She is using him as a crutch. He is only 3, but she relies on him as her only companion. She has no friends, (she has lost EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM OVER THE PAST YEAR)no family here in town... no boyfriend. She has no other emotional and physical support. DH called her and asked her to stop sleeping with him because it was causing issues at our house because his cannot sleep with us, as many times as he asks- the answer will always be NO. Then he gets angry with DH and I because he is not getting his way. I am sure she loves that.
This turned into an all out battle. To the point that she called me and told me (and this is a sensitive subject... long story short- she got fired from her job for her attendance and didn't get a new job for almost a year... lived off of unemployment and asked US (me, that's right she called me) when she started to fall behind- just to be told NO- go get a job. Anyways, that's a story for another day... she told ME that if we didn't like the sleeping arrangements, we should buy her an apartment with 2 bedrooms. OMG- I flipped my lid. We pay her CS, never ever EVER missed a payment. Helped her pay her portion of Daycare when she was not able to afford it (just last month)... we buy all of his SHOES, MEDS, CLOTHES, we have him 50% of the times and she wants MORE?????? WTF... she is barking up the WRONG tree.
DH has since become quite successful with his career and she knows that he makes a heathly living as do I... but we WORK hard for what we have and that does not intitle her to a raise... BUY HER AN APARTMENT... Please... lay off the weed for a few weeks and you might save up enough money to keep your HEAT ON.
Needless to say, there has been an immediate halt in our co parenting relationship...
I understand wanting to be close to your kids, but not at their expense. She is hindering him from much needed developement. She treats him like a baby to begin with, and this is taking 10 steps back by allowing him to sleep with her. URRGGGG... I just want to keep him forever and for her to disappear...
Maybe I am making too much of this, but it sure felt good to vent!