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I feel bad this pisses me off

MsLaLa's picture

My boyfriend recently regained custody of his 9 year old son. The BM finally allowed him to live with him again after realizing she was handicapping her son by babying him too much. He is literally at the maturity of a 5 year old and is sometimes "unable" to do things on his own. He recently began making his own sandwiches, pouring his own juice, and attempting to make up his bed. He seems to constantly pee in the bed which annoys me because I am the one cleaning the covers and sheets all the time and frankly I think he is way too old to be peeing in the bed anyway. On top of that he occasionally sleeps in the bed with us which I do not like. I come home from work with him in the bed on my side and it annoys me. I just end up sleeping on the couch. If I do sleep in the bed then I am kicked and hit throughout the night or sleeping on the edge of the bed. I know he loves his dad and vice versa and part of me feels like, ok they are bonding again but seriously????? He needs to sleep in his own bed and in his own room. And yes he has urinated in our bed as well. Am I wrong for being so pissed and annoyed by this? What can I do? How do I discuss this with him??? Help!!! Please!!!

Step Witch's picture

Hi MsLaLa
There is no why you need to sleep on the couch. It happened to me and i just one day said, NO!, no sleeping in my bed, you'll see daddy tommorow morning. The first few nights went rough, i got up a lot to put the skids back in their beds, with a yelling and crying, but as time went by, they stopped getting up in the middle of the night to crawl in with us. For we like to sleep nekit hehe. Then they woke up at around 5 in the morning to get in bed with us and i said no, no getting in my bed, if you want to wake up this early, you can get your blanket and go watch cartoons untill me and daddy gets up (which isn't late, around 7:30). Now they respect my bedroom. No getting in the bed, no sleeping with us, no coming in when the door is closed, no fiddeling with my stuff. Its going to be hard at first and you and H may have arguments about this situation, but no is no and if he doesn't like it, go sleep with your children but don't expect anything from me when you feel like it.
As for the wet his bed story, it can go 2 ways, either he is seeking attention and getting it, in that case i will make him wash his own bedding with his hands, just to learn him a lesson. Or he may be suffering some medical situation. This might sound really disgusting but i was 7 when i stopped wetting my bed. I had a to small bladder and even if i went to the bathroom before bed, i still wetted my bed, every single night. My mother took me to a therapist and to a docter and i was by the therapist for a few months and used medication for about a year then it just stopped. So look into that, i'm sure you'll know what the true problem is.