Tanning bed. It increases your vitamin D level and will probably help immediately.

What is your treatment for tmj? I was a lot like you describe years ago, until I went to a holistic dentist who made a mouthpiece right there in his office. They correct malocclusion right there by filing down some tooth surfaces so that the correct teeth meet first when you bite down. That night was the first night in a LONG time that I didn't wake up tired and/or with a headache. I didn't realize I wasn't sleeping well and wasn't even having tmj pain anymore, but it was causing a host of problems.

Also, get a product called Natural Calm. It's a flavored magnesium supplement that you make like a tea. If you have tmj, you are probably having some anxiety, and magnesium helps a lot. Ground flax seeds would also help with the brain activity problems you describe.

I have done all of these things and they have worked wonders. Best of luck. I know the feeling you have sucks, and I hope that it's better soon!

I completely understand. You do absolutely need to see a doctor, any doctor find one that you can see quickly and get yourself back on medication. If this has been going on for years then a new doctor may be in order anyway. Secondly, you need more than medication, you need some cognative therapy, it helps believe me. But of course you must be open to it and willing to do the work, you cannot do this in your state so you do need the anti depressants to get you to a place where you can do the therapy. The two together should help. Having your husband find you in the bath like that, well that was a lucky break. You may think you want to die and the way your life is you don't care, you may think that everyone would be better off without you.......That is just your depression talking. People commit suicide all the time, and think no one will care, it is not true. The ramifications are life long on the people left behind.

I knew a young man who took his life. He waited for his wife to take the kids to school and then shot himself in their garage. She dropped the kids off, came home, opened the garage door and found that.

Do you want to do that to someone you love. I do not think for one second he really thought that through. People with severe depression do not think if I do this or that then a or b will find me, they just let it get them so far down they do not even think.

You are in a great place when you can recognise you have depression, this I think is your saviour, do not waste anymore time. I understand you lethargy and I get why you cannot be bothered sitting a waiting room. but for your sake and for the sake of your family please, please go to the doctor. Find a friend to go and sit with you, it is less boring that way, and you need support.

Anxiety is horrible, depression is horrible, but they can be treated, please, I beg you, go and get treatment, surely 24 hours sitting waiting to see the doctor would be preferably to a life feeling the way you do.

Do not let this depression get any deeper. Think of it like any other illness, if you had the flu you would see a doctor, if you had a heart attack you would see a doctor, you have depression see a doctor.

I sincerely wish you all the best.

By the way I had severe sciatica. I found a sports masseur who has magic hands, you may find great relief from massaging the sciatic nerve. Sciatica alone can get you down.

Sorry did not mean to suggest you were suicidal, I do not think you are, if you were I doubt you would be on this site. What I meant was that your DH finding you was a lucky break. Had he not, you may not be here. You may have passed out from complete exhaustion I suspect you did, but that comes from all you are suffering including the anxiety. I was also just advising that left untreated depression can go that way, and having suffered depression and seen what this young man did, I get very passionate about getting this treated sooner rather than later.

My closest friend suffered for years and years with anxiety and would not take medication for it, when I was going overseas for 8 weeks, she had a nervous breakdown. I had to tell her to get on medication or I would cancel my trip, and I had to promise her that is she became addicted (her mother was an addict), that I would have her admitted to a rehab clinic the second I came home and I would stay there with her....See how sick she was, she really thought they would allow me to stay in rehab with her. Anyway, finally she went to her doctor who had also been trying for years to get her on medication. She still takes a mild anxiety tablet daily and has done for 3 years. The table probably does nothing now, not telling her that though, but she has been a whole new woman for the last 3 years and she knows it herself.

I think if you treat the anxiety and the depression you will either find most of your physical complaints will go away or you will be in a better state of mind to cope with them and they will not feel so bad. Obviously the TMJ is stress/anxiety related or worsened by it.

Grab a friend have a girls day out at the crappy doctors office, but you can sit there and talk about people to pass the time There absolutely has to be a doctor who will see you inside a month. And you may be pleasantly surprised by trying out a new doctor if you have to.

I expect you back on this site in the morning letting us know how you got on with the doctor okay

Hugs (((Anonymous_stepmom))) I feel for you. I also struggle with depression, and to have other ailments on top of it just magnifies the problem. Depression by itself is bad enough. Maybe I'm biased, but I feel the depression is the heart of it for you - if you are wallowing in a depression, all your other illnesses are going to be that much harder to cope with.

It sucks not having your doctor accessible to you when you need him! That is really frustrating. The ER sounds like a good option, at least until you can get into your Dr. Maybe call the ER and ask if there are "lull" times of day when you could be seen more quickly. Also (a long shot) could you get into another doctor by explaining that your doctor is unavailable and you need to see someone on an urgent basis? You would not be asking to be taken on as a new patient, just to see the doctor and get some relief for your depression. Though you are not suicidal now, you don't know what could happen if you continue to go without treatment. It's a very serious thing.

If the kids are a source of stress can you have someone watch them for a few hours a day so you can do something for yourself?

Keep us up to date on how you are doing. I will be thinking about you and hoping you feel better very soon!

I agree fully with my.kids.mom. Tanning beds do absolute wonders so fast!!!

I had serious depression. Never ever before did I think that depression was an ailment. I just thought you could decide to get better. Then I had my daughter last year, and I realized it was so real. BUT, there is a certain amount of truth to the idea that you can control your recovery.

It gripped me hard, peaked out, then I had to decide that I was angry about it. I wasn't going to let it destroy my life. I fought back basically. The first step, tanning bed. I know it sounds wierd but it gives you an instant emotional lift that can't be duplicated. (unless street drugs are an option).

Depression can spiral out of control. It causes things that are physical to manifest and worsen. Pain, headaches, etc. I went on a tanning, walking the dog daily, and forcing myself to move forward routine that worked. It took about a week to feel somewhat normal. It's worth a try.

Okay you have had your doctor for 20 years since you were 7 and I do realise how important that relationship is. But your health is more important, without it, especially suffering depression, all your relationships have the potential to fall apart.

Look at it this way, your doctor's wife now has cancer and he must put her first, he is not readily availabe to you now, and may be even less available in the future. One day he too will be gone, so putting all your eggs in one basket is not a good thing. Our family doctor recently moved away from the area because his young son was autistic, and he needed to be in an area that provided schooling for this child. Hit me hard that did, because all my eggs were in that one basket. 6 months later I am still trying to find a doctor like him, probably never will, but I would like to find one that is even half as caring. I am not suffering depression, so as much as it is hard doing this right now,it would be impossible when I was suffering from depression, trying and failing to find a new doctor suffering from that would just add to your worries.

But you do have to do something, so head to the ER on the bright side you and your girlfriend will find more people to talk about there anyway so you can still pass the time. Keep trying your doctor, leave a message on his machine if you can and let him know you need him,hopefully he will check his machine. As soon as you can get onto him, get him to give you a referral to a back up doctor. After 20 years I am sure he will be more than happy to refer you to someone good, someone that can be more available to you than he can be at the moment. He will understand, trust me, he will not be hurt or upset, he will get it and he will help you.

Please don't put this off my making excuses about having to wait around in ER as I said in my previous post, 24 hours in ER is better than 24 days or a lifetime of feeling like this. So, get dressed, put on the makeup, grab a friend and head out for the day at ER. Good Luck.

I don't have any great words of wisdom for you. I have suffered with depression for most of my adult and adolescent life. It's horrible and unless you have dealt with it yourself there is no possible way to understand the deep feelings of despair one feels. I write. I have kept journals for years. It is an excellent way to release some of the feelings bottled up inside. Therapy and medication have helped me even more. As much as I felt like I let myself down and couldn't just "handle it" myself, I knew that I no longer wanted to feel this way. It was hard. It was long. But it was all worth it. I discovered so much more about myself than I ever would have without going. I now can "catch myself" before spiraling down into the depression that was always such a part of my life. I started to define myself by my depression at one point. You can't allow that to happen. It's horrible and no one, should identify themselves that way. Try to stay optimistic, and remember to take one day at a time. Each step you take to finding you, will feel so monumental, you won't want to turn back, you'll see all the possibility that lies before you. Good luck!

I'm posting again to give you more information, because I don't agree with everyone here telling you to run to the doctor, and I want to tell you why. A long time ago I was tired all the time, hurting everywhere, and having a lot of headaches. I went to a doctor my sister recommended and after barely examining me, she prescribed prozac. When I checked out at the front, I was not asked to return for a follow up visit, which I new was standard when putting someone on a drug like prozac. I never filled it. Soon after, I quit my job and miraculously, all my symptoms went away. (and since then, have heard lots of stories of people committing murder or suicide on prozac!)

Many years later, when my kids were almost 3 and 18 months, one day I just couldn't get out of bed. It seemed to last forever. I had no energy, and soon, became depressed. I realized the depression was as a result of the physical fatigue, so I was not alarmed. I just took steps to gradually get better. (I realized in college that I had problems with fatigue, and that was when chronic fatigue started getting "popular"). Here are some things that I learned:

The first thing you need to do is find a good, high quality nutritional supplement program. (Most doctors know nothing about nutrition or supplements, and that's why I say don't bother with the dr). We have used Usana for years and it cured my allergies and son's asthma, so the stuff is good. You need additional Vit D in large doses, as well as Omega 3 supplements.

Do something about the tmj. If you don't, you will never get a good night's sleep and that is a HUGE problem.

Watch the caffeine and sugar intake. Drink lots of purified water. Detox tea is good, too.

Get outside as much as possible. Not sure where you live but here it's freezing right now. Go for short walks, even if you do it in your pjs. Outside/nature helps a lot, I guess unless you live in a city with lots of buildings, cars and noise everywhere LOL. When you do go outside, take deep breaths, and exhale, imagining all your negative energy blowing away with the wind. Imagine breathing in good, breathing away bad.

I even went so far as to have mercury fillings removed and I've been in AWESOME health since doing all this. I am even going through "the change" right now and I still don't want to kill anyone!

Another thing that I've done, and I know not everyone has access, but we drink raw milk and consume all grass fed dairy and beef. I could live off raw milk if I had to, and it's got LOTS of good benefits, especially when you are too tired or don't feel like fixing something.

All of the things I just listed, most doctors are clueless about. And they know people are looking for a quick fix, and that's why anti-depressants are over prescribed. Most people don't need anti-depressants! When I was 10 years old, we discovered that I do not handle stress well. This is why I have had so many problems, caused by anxiety. Getting your body well balanced will help you deal with stress, and meditating, yoga, or deep breathing will help you control the anxiety. It is possible to teach yourself to handle the anxiety without medical intervention. Like I said earlier, Google is your friend. You know your body and mind better than any doctor and you can cure it quicker than a dr. It goes without saying that if you feel the urge to harm yourself or others, you need to see the dr. But the fact that you were able to sit down and write a coherent and descriptive post about your situation tells me you aren't there yet. Take baby steps and get well. I have confidence in you and I will be sending you some positive energy from here. Have a good weekend!

my.kid.mom

While I see your point and agree medication can often be misused I am concerned because OP said that she can feel this time it is bad. That worries me. Hopefully she will see a doctor, and under his care can perhaps take on board some of your suggestions. Healthy eating and lifestyle is so, so important, but almost impossible to do when you are depressed. Your lifestyle sounds good, wish I had access to it too