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Couceling for FSD(6) and BM is going to be there.

Unhappy's picture

Has anybody ever seen the storm on the horizon. Well I do and it's not going to hit until Thursday next week. FSD(6) is going to her first counceling session. At first I think this is great after all the mind f!cking BM has pulled on her (PAS). But then the councelor contacts SO and tells him that we all have to be there. Is this guy nuts. Does he know what kind of a sh!t storm he brining down upon himself, SO, and I. BM will freak out. I have a feeling that she will be passively atacking me throughout the whole session. Not to mention after almost a year of her stalking SO, trying to break us up, harrassing his family, having her family harrass SO, calling CPS with false child abuse allegations, and countless other things I would rather stick my face in acid then sit in the same room with her.

Please, someone offer advise as to what the hell I am supposed to do. I do not want to be her target, but apparently I have to be there too.

jenstep's picture

If you don't go you will look like a coward. Go, hold hands with SO, and be a united front. When she attacks you - smile at her, look puzzled and then look at the counselor expectantly. It is the counselor's job to make sure no one is attacked passively or overtly. I wouldn't say much, if anything. Let SO do the talking unless he's one of the ball-less types. But don't let him get over heated either. Work out hand signals. If you squeeze his hand tightly it means he best pipe up and say something if you stroke his hand with your thumb it means he needs to shut it. Let BM show her ass and sit in her own poop. If you show the counselor that you and SO are calm, rational people then this counselor could become a powerful ally against this nutbag.

kalmolil's picture

YES, it's hugely important for you to be there because it's your chance to speak up and share your side. Therapists/counselors are trained to be neutral but if they're only getting one side of the story what are they supposed to think/believe? Go. Share your side. Remain calm, and let BM play the part of irrational fool! Don't use a "joint session" as an opportunity to "out" BM and her behavior in front of the therapist because I guarantee, it will eventually become perfectly, crystal clear! DH and I went through this with SD's BM and while I wanted to jump across the room and smother BM with one of the pretty little decorative couch pillows, I resisted and eventually BM and her irrational, immature behavior presented itself front and center for the therapist to see!

NCMilGal's picture

Do go. It will drive BM absolutely crazy.

We're in a tough spot right now - SD15 has been going to a counselor and wants to talk to her about moving in with DH and I. She's gone as far as to give DH's info to the counselor and vice versa. The problem is, SD15 puts on a front to her counselor that everything is just peachy-keen at home. (BM is making SD15's life a living hell - she's BPD. Diagnosed many years ago, but doesn't believe it.) BM has also already attended multiple sessions, and has painted her picture of what we are like to the counselor.

DH is trying to call this woman, but she hasn't been answering her phone - when she returned his call, he said her message indicated confusion on why he would be calling. All he wants is to make a courtesy call to let the counselor know that he's willing and available to participate in SD15's therapy in any way.

We're hoping that the counselor will be open-minded enough to accept new voices, but I have a sneaking suspicion (based on the fact that BM hand-picked this woman) that this could be a trainwreck in the making.