BM stopped paying her half
S/O has primary custody of FSD. He didn't ask for child support from BM because he doesn't want anything from her. They had agreed to split the cost of preschool however and S/O dropped FSD off today and found out from the school that BM has not paid her half in two weeks. I realize S/O can't MAKE her pay but he's feeling like he has to pay because he thinks they'll stop her schooling. I don't understand why they aren't calling HER and I feel like if he pays this ONE TIME that BM will never pay her half again. He agrees that's probably what will happen. Since he didn't go for CS, what are his options? I feel like he's probably going to have to pay for all her schooling by himself. If this happens I feel like he should file for CS. BM doesn't pay for anything. She buys FSD toys and clothes and that's it. She comes back from her house each visit with a new toy so she needs to stop buying toys and paying her half of the tuition. I really hope it doesn't come down to him having to pay BM's half. Do you all know of any options that we haven't thought of?
He needs to file for CS,
He needs to file for CS, period. He has no legal recourse with her "promises to pay".
Whether or not this preschool issue gets resolved or not, he needs to file.
Otherwise, there will just be more and more things like this in the future and he will always need to be prepared to foot 100% of the bill if/when she doesn't pony up her share.
He definitely needs to get it
He definitely needs to get it in writing thru the Courts. I realize that he doesn't want anything from her however she is still just as much obligated to pay for that kid as he is.
He needs to file simply because that money is for his kid. When I get CS for my BS10 every month I use it on him. Period. It isn't a sign of weakness or that one parent is dependant upon the other parent it is simply for the benefit of the child!
They could even work somehting out that states that she will pay xyz every month for tuition if that would make it better for him. Either way, she needs to be held accountable!
Oh these BM's.. is it just
Oh these BM's.. is it just me or are we seeing a trend of more and more deadbeat biomoms these days?
Yes! Have him go through the courts and get CS - it isn't a question of him "wanting anything from her" - it's her doing the right thing for her kid!
Not much he can do if he
Not much he can do if he doesn't have her agreement in writing. DH paid for ALL of SD's preschool and ALL of her private school for five years because although BM wanted her to be in that school, she refused to pay for it.
I really encourage you to get these things in writing. When SD got braces, DH and BM agreed each would pay their half directly to the orthodontist. Being smart (and probably encountering this situation a few times before), orthodontist had BM sign something saying she would be responsible for half. BM made exactly one payment, then tried to say the agreement had been that DH would pay everything. Orthodontist just whipped out the agreement. DH continued to pay his half, I think they had to go after BM for her half because she paid just enough for them to continue treating SD, then tried to default on the balance owed.
he needs child support. Our
he needs child support. Our bm doesnt pay for anything she is COURT ORDERED to pay, or her child support. But in the end we will eventually get at least the child support. They pull from her taxes every year.
BM here agreed to pay 1/2 of
BM here agreed to pay 1/2 of all extra curricular activities.. well, once she gave up the kids and moved... she hasn't paid anything and now claims "I never agreed to that sport".. she is ordered to pay MINIMAL child support - it's a joke! We have yet to see anything..
It seriously blows my damn
It seriously blows my damn mind how if a man doesn't pay his CS they tar and feather him and he is the ultimate deadbeat...but the BM (so it seems) can get away with NOT paying, pay next to nothing, and the courts seem to do nada about it! WTF?! MUST BE NICE!!!
He HAS to get CS set up
He HAS to get CS set up legally, in writing, through the court.
It's not for HIM to say that his daughter doesn't deserve support from her mother! If he doesn't want her money, he can start a college fund for his daughter and put it all in there. I'm sure she'd be thrilled to have money set aside when she grows up instead of her dad being the martyr who "raised her without any help" and will likely then be too broke to help her out.
I know all of you are right.
I know all of you are right. I'll have to have a sit down with him. I've tried before but he was really afraid to rock the boat. Despite BM's obvious disinterest in being a full time parent, he had this fear that BM would take FSD and run. Which is why it took him so long to set boundaries with her. Maybe now that he's realized that BM won't do anything like that, it'll be easier to talk to him about it again. The most BM can do is try to take him to court and gain primary custody of FSD and make him pay if he tries to file for CS. I'm also hoping that he can reason with BM and say it's for FSD and not for him. We shall see.