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BM gets mail at our NEW house


I am not even sure how it happened. DH use to get his mail at his parents house, 20 minutes from where we live now. DH forwarded "his mail" 2 weekends ago. I opened my mailbox to a house that BM has never lived in, much less seen, to find a letter from the IRS in HER name only.

WTF?? So DH forwards his mail and the post office, tells the IRS that BM lives at our address. Excuse me??

So I asked DH, did you do individual or family? DH responds individual because his parents still live there. So explain to me how BM's mail is now coming to my address but his parents is still going to their correct address.

The post office told the IRS to send BM's mail to OUR HOUSE. Well I won't say what I did with that piece of mail because I could be seriously in trouble. Let's just say I was LIVID!!

I guess DH will always be her husband right?? Who am I? Just the idiot who pays the bills!

I told DH get her address because I'm forwarding that shit to her address.

Dizzy's picture

I HATED this! I would either write "RETURN TO SENDER ADDRESSEE HAS NEVER LIVED AT THIS ADDRESS" on anything that comes solely in BM's name. OR...just throw it away.

Dizzy's picture

Screw forwarding it. I do no favors for someone who has literally gone out of their way to be difficult when I was doing things for them. NEVER AGAIN!!


What I did was get rid of it but video the way for DH to know I was pissed. I just want it to stop coming to MY house. She's never lived there and if they dont get another address they will continue to send it there, so I have to see her stupid name all the time.

JacksGal's picture

I had that happen too. I marked them "Return to sender - addressee unknown at this address" and it stopped in a few weeks.

B22S22's picture

I posted something like this a few weeks ago -- except that I was filling out a requested update from our auto insurance company and it asked me which of our 3 cars "BM's name" drives.

BM and DH have been divorced for 17 years... and never had an insurance policy thru this company together.

My insurance agent told me that onced "linked" they will forever be "linked" in the cyber world... meaning if they're looking for BM, they pull up their database and see all the names linked to her, my DH being #1 on the list (funny how HER DH isn't even ON the list because she kept DH's last name). Prolly explains all of the bill collectors who call here for her, in a house that was mine before DH and I got married.

I did, however, receive something addressed to her from the Neptune Society (for those of you who don't know, they specialize in cremation and sea burials) -- I gave it to one of the SK's to take back to BM, with the message that I'm sure it's something she really needs to see. }:)

fuckitall's picture

Wow some people are idiots, trying to help. I found a bunch of online phone and address listings for BM and my FDH, with a combined last name for both of them (they've never been married) I was so grossed out by seeing his name like that, and hers with his last name attached. So he sent emails to all the sites asking them to remove it and telling them the info they had was not valid. Apparently they filed joint taxes one year.. I hate her.

GoodBye's picture

Pfft, we still get collection agencies calling our house looking for BM and she hasn't lived here for over five years.

Teas83's picture

Luckily we moved shortly after we got married. They were never married, but I didn't want to live in BM's old house. I found a hair of hers was gross. We kept the house and rent it out now. Mail for her occasionally still goes there. This is bad, but once a statement for SD's education fund arrived in BM's name. My husband opened it because he thought BM might have taken the money out. It turns out she didn't, but it was nice for DH to know for sure.

Ughugh's picture

Fill out a forwarding slip to her new house at the post office. It's easy. You know her address. If not, put the kid's school address on it and let them forward her mail to the school. That'll teach her.

BarkAtTheMoon's picture

I've got one for you...........We get mail addressed to BM at our house. Our NEW house, that we've lived in for 1-1/2 years.

BM never even lived at the house DH and I were in before either, and this mail has her maiden name on it, and she was even married again after DH.

Oh, and BM died in early 2013.

~ Moon

onthefence2's picture

My kids went through a public virtual school a couple of years ago for homeschooling, and when I filled out the paper work, I put their dad's info on where it asked for it. When their computers arrived, they were addressed to HIM at OUR address. Then I started getting his junk mail. There are SO many ways that these things happen, it's unreal. I no longer put his info on anything.

OrangeUGlad's picture

My company sometimes uses an online database- one of the same that the credit cards, etc. use.

When you search for a person, it lists addresses and phone numbers registered to that person AND any that may be associated with that person.

"Associated" is VERY loose. It links you to relatives, exes, people you lived with in the past.

So, these services will list the addresses and phone numbers of people you knew in the past (addresses and phone numbers you have never used) with you because of someone you have a link to.

Seems stupid, but it is actually often a good way to track someone down. They often don't have good cell phone info, but home phone is pretty accurate, so call Uncle Joe who has lived at the same house for 60 years with the same land line and he'll provide you with the person's current cell.

So, this can happen with bm forever. 20 years from now she defaults on a loan and the collection agency searches- she doesn't answer her phone or mail, but ex's address is listed as a "possible" address so you get the mail or you get a call.

Calling the PO might help, but might not. It likely has nothing to do with the forwarding, especially if this is the first and only item you've received.