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Babies when there's already Skids?

3Libras06's picture

I'm 25 and engaged. We've been together for a few years and while we haven't set a date (just haven't settled on one, we've been through a lot the past year with getting custody of his son and whatnot) I keep thinking of having a baby. Maybe it's just my age, maybe it's because I have a niece who's almost two and I absolutely adore her to pieces, IDK what it is but I get baby fever on and off every couple of months it seems.
Up until my niece was born I never had the desire to have kids and was just willing to accept my fiance's son because I love my fiance so much. Having SS10 full time has proven to be quite the transitional period and there's a LOT of things that annoy me, but at the end of the day I know he's way better off with us and wouldn't change that.
Anyway, I want to ask all of you ladies when you decided it was the "Right" time to have a baby. When is it "right" to stop taking that birth control and TRY for one? Especially when there's a Skid in the house?

nothinforya's picture

"Baby fever" struck me when I was 27. In retrospect, I know it was biology at work. try to separate the biological craving from the reality of being unmarried and having a 10 year old to help parent. My niece just had her first at 25 with her husband of 2 years. They were HS sweethearts. It's going great for them. But there are many with financial challenges and relationship challenges that make it much harder. Be careful who you choose to be the father of your children.

Steppin's picture

Does your fiance want a baby too? That's an important part Wink

Our first was never decided on. Two weeks after our wedding, I found I was pregnant. I was not even slightly happy about it. It was 1 million percent unplanned. Of course, when BS3 was born I was IN LOVE with him and when he was 6 months old, we started trying for our second. Smile

3Libras06's picture

At first he was hesitant to talk about kids when I started bringing it up about a year ago. I made the honest decision to tell him at that point that we really needed to reevaluate our relationship if he didn't want kids because I didn't want either one of us to get into something that we didn't want and resent one another in the future. Then after a bit he admitted that he was terrified of having kids because he had had his son so young 19 with BM and the entire experience was tough and pretty much awful because they never had a family unit. They were ultimately kids having kids and always fought.
Since my niece has been born though and we spend so much time around her he's really wanting a baby. He loves her to pieces and says he's more confident in having a baby with me because there's "actual love there and will be a support system/team to do it". Smile