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SweetMom's picture

I really appreciate all the comments I have been getting wether it's negative or to my favor. It all seems fair and I see my faults when the majority see's against me. Just want to stress my appreciation for your time. So here's my next question. My husbands parents. Everytime we go around they ask about his daughter then go on to ask about how his ex step kids are and even his ex wife. They talk about her bad. They don't bother asking how my son is and I've been married and together with him longer than he was with his ex. I stopped going over there, even stopped answering my door when his mom knocks when he isn't here. He gets pissy and grumpy everytime I say something and says that's just the way they Are and a person can't change another person. What is something I can say in a nice way to maybe get them to stop talking about his ex step kids and his x? Also, his mother wants pictures of our family on her wall for mothers day. She request for us and his ex step kids to be In The picture. They are not my family. Should I speak up and tell her they are not my family. She already had his daughter and his x step kids up. I don't want them included in my new family which is me, DH, sd, and my son. Not his x.

The Tyrant's picture

I kind of have the same issue with my in-laws. I have stopped going around as well. DW thinks I am making it all but they are obviously different around me. They still ask about the kids we have together and love seeing them and all but when ever my SS13's BD/DW ex-husband comes around they get all huggy with him and talk sports ask all these questions. They make it obvious they like him better, even though I treat her better, provide for HIS son better, make more money than he does, AND I have never physically fight their daughter like he used to do. I think they do it to spite me, but doing things to spite me never works on me... it would be interesting to see what everyone else thinks because I would like to know how to handle that also.

But I definately would not be in that picture. I would be cool with my kids and his kid being in a picture together but I would not be in it... They can't make me and they already dislike me so what else could happen? Screw it!

AllySkoo's picture

Honestly? If it were me? I'd do nothing. Literally nothing. Because if I left it to DH to organize hiring a photographer, getting all these random kids together at the right time, getting everyone dressed appropriately, etc etc etc - he wouldn't do it. What's your DH like? Would he actually do ALL the work getting all that set up? If you don't think he'll do it, just say, "Well, I'm not so wild about this, but it's up to you" and then drop it. If you think he actually WOULD get it all set up, you can tell him that he can either have his ex stepkids in the picture OR you, but not both. *shrug* Either way, this shouldn't be a "fight", just a "this is all on you, let me know what you decide" sort of thing.

blayze's picture

Well, I'm a bit of a dick when it comes to stupid people.

If they started talking about his ex in my presence, I would let my man answer and then look directly at whichever offender brought it up and say, "So let's talk about YOUR ex now. What is he/she up to? Do you miss talking to him/her? Would you like to talk about him/her now, in front of all of us at this family dinner?"

And then smile with my million dollar toothy grin to let them know that I'm playing with them. Because if people continually make me feel uncomfortable, I have the right and the responsibility to respond in kind... in-laws or not.

And I agree with notasm... laugh/mock/ridicule a MIL that makes such a dumb request about having a "family" picture with EX-step-kids. She's smoking crack, and right now, y'all are handing her the lighter. Don't enable idiots.