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they say a picture is worth a thousand words ...

SisterNeko's picture

so what are really bad photos worth or the lack of pictures? SS5 has an 'all about me day' coming up at school and we were asked to send pictures.

The request must have been sent Friday asking 'us' to send 8 to 10 photos of SS5 and family. Well BM had 10 photos on the folder so of course DH and I looked through them out of curiosity.

They weren't very good pictures i would hate to think that they were the best ones she had to send. SS5 wasn't smiling in most of them and most were bury or very low res, like they were taken with a cellphone. Which is odd since she had a brand new camera at Christmas but DH has said that BM doesn't take many picture (where as I take a ton).

There was one picture with her and SS5 which was actually kind of cute but again SS5 wasn't smiling/didn't look too happy. But I noted that there were no shots of Chubby Hubby (BM's Husband) and the kids. I know a lot of step-parent disengage so that could explain the lack of photos, not that I would blame him since BM has told DH that Chubby is not allowed to discipline sKids and SS7 has admitted to arguing with him. But BM claims that Chubby is 'super dad' and does 'a lot' with the kids. I find that hard to believe. The only other person in the pictures was BM's MIL.

So I asked DH if we should send a few of ours along just so people don't think SS5 is so unhappy all the time. I am way behind on photo printing but I found a few good ones and I included a shot of the 4 of us from our wedding, since it's the only groups shot that I have and I would consider us all a 'family'. I was shocked that BM hadn't sent a family photo, I know she has one because she tried to send it to my house last year but we sent it back.

Well yesterday some of the photos got sent back because there was not enough room on the poster board for them - they were all BM's pictures! They used the one of BM and MIL but the bury shots of just SS5 not smiling they sent back. We will return them to BM but now I am a little nervous for her to see the poster on the about me day which is like a month away.

Was it wrong of us to send the family photo? BM could have done the same (shocked that she didn't). And I am not worried about the photos getting returned, I know if they go to BM's house I will never see them again but I have the saved and I can re-print them. Smile

It's also worth noting that when SS7 was in kindergarten and had his 'about me day' DH came home in tears because SS7 introduced Chubby as "his NEW dad" and DH as "his OLD dad". When he told BM that it hurt his feeling and questioned her about where he would get something like that from BM yelled at him. I had just come into the picture and when DH asked her how she would feel about them calling me "new mom" BM said that was different. After our wedding BM told the sKids to stop calling Chubby 'dad'. but after calling him 'dad' for years they still do and while the slip sometimes and call me mom we don't encourage it.


SisterNeko's picture

Oh and the family photo of BM's WAS on SS7 all about me broad.

We are starting to wonder if there is trouble in paradise. BM and Chubby have never been very lovey but they don't even stand or sit by each other. And I don't think Chubby is a fan of the kids. He seems happier when he drops them off than he does when we drop them off. They don't have joint checking. With the whole 'dad' situation I would have to see them split but they just don't look happy. But maybe I am missing something, maybe that is the way BM likes it.

SteppingUp's picture

I think that some people just don't take pictures, or don't THINK to take them. I am a lot like you, I always have the camera in my kids and stepkids' faces but even though I do take a ton of pics, I barely have any good ones of my stepson who is also 5. He just doesn't care to be in pictures. He actually commented one day when I Was going through some shots to hang in a photo collage, that there are hardly any of him, and why? His own sister said "Because you never WANT to be in pictures. If you don't want to be in them then you can't complain that there are none of you!" Haha! It cracked me up because she was right on!

Also, BM takes crappy cell phone pics of the kids and prints them and they look awful. It's like she has no brain capacity to see that the quality is really bad or something? I don't really get it.

I think you are totally fine that you sent a family picture. That was what the project was all about, and your family is HIS family, and that's ABOUT HIM! If BM throws a fit about her pics not being on there just play dumb, that the teacher picked out the ones to put on there with your stepson and you had no idea. Don't play into any more than that, if it becomes an issue.

SisterNeko's picture

Thanks, and will do. BM had the opportunity to get her pictures on there we sent them all to the school so yeah they picked the one that they liked.

I love photographing kids. They are so much fun and I stand back a lot to zom in so they can't see me take the pictures. We struggled to get the family photo because some one taght ss5 to make the weird pose with his finger up and one eye closed. We had to tell him to just stand there. I feel bad for any kid DH and I have together since I know how many photos I have of skids and we only have them 50% of the time.

There for awhile BM was really in to photo gifts for DH on the gift giving days. It's in the CO to help skids give gifts 3 times a year. I liked the idea but the photos she used were awful and most of them were from when her and DH were together. So a few times we did photo gifts for her but I am very leery on what I give her. No pics of DH or I just the skids. And I fully expect her to take credit for them.

The few times I went in her house she had those blurry cell photos all over her house as decoration.