ADHD treatments/anger issues
I was told my sd9 had some form of adhd/autism but there have been no therapy visits no medication no talk about diet or screens no parent training nothing to indicate she is anything but a typical child. The adhd was mentioned briefly around 4 years ago and today sd9 said she was going to an appointment to find out why she gets so angry at school. I assumed the reason for her anger was the adhd? I don't know very much about adhd my dd12 has additional needs we have ehcp (statement) from local authority signed off by the paediatrician, her gp, her school and all manner of other healthcare professionals. My dd has been to numerous appointments with so many different healthcare professionals especially in the beginning after her diagnosis. Is this common with adhd? Do you usually gets lots of appointments? I'm sorry to say I don't quite believe there is anything not typical with this child she and her bm seem to use it as an excuse for poor behaviour. Eg. Please sit down nicely to eat your dinner "I can't sit still because I have adhd" instead of having any consequences bm usually lets it slide because she has adhd. Maybe I'm wrong here completely I don't mean to sound so ignorant if I am. She has iPad glued to her arm which I thought would be a big no no if she had adhd. I thought she would need a certain diet in order to lessen the symptoms. Therapy to help her control herself even if the parents decide not to medicate and mainly above all those things some kind of parent training. Not only that her bm leaves her at home when she goes shopping etc if this child has adhd should she really be left home alone? Or is it just because she isn't severe and that's why nothing has happened since this diagnosis and her bm feels ok with leaving her home alone? Anyone have any experience with adhd and the process?
No but SD has a mother and father
You are not one of them. There nothing you can do with out causing a war , you have to disengage from all of this and let her parents handle or not handle it. You told your SO how you feel and think what must be done. You are done with it. If you can live with her or not it's up to you. But you must understand, this is going to be for the long hall
A lot of kids wtih ADHD in
A lot of kids with ADHD in the US only get meds from the doctor and never see a therapist - it depends on their needs.
There is no special diet for ADHD (none scientifically proven) and there is no reason kids with ADHD can't use iPads (though they would need limits on them like any other kid). The only real proven treatment for ADHD is medication. Structure helps, at home and at school. Therapy has its limits, especially when kids are young.
Yes, it's bad that BM and DH let her use it as an excuse for poor behavior, but there's not much you can do about it, except choose not to be around her.
Be glad she isn't medicated.
Be glad she isn't medicated. If she has anger issues, they'll be worse with medication. There are a lot of things parents can and should do for their children who have adhd, letting it be an excuse for bad behavior isn't one of those things. If she was diagnosed at age 5, she may not have it at all. If I were her parent, I'd have her re-evaluated. If I were her stepparent, I'd tell my partner I will not be engaged with their child while they weren't doing everything necessary to help her adapt to her adhd. It won't be an excuse she can use in the real world. May as well learn how to function with it now.
My wife & stepdaughter BOTH
My wife & stepdaughter BOTH take ADD medicine most days (Vyvanse) which is very expensive and has a very discernable effect on the brain and does seem to assist in improving concentration. That said, I don't like it. The part that makes me suspicious is that there's a euphoria involved - it's not surprising they both insist on taking it. My suggestion that they curtail the Rx is met with strong opposition and claims that I don't have ADD so, basically, my opinion doesn't count. However, God only knows what effect the drug will have on a brain after use of 15, 20 years, right? My 15YO stepdaughter started on it at 13 so there's definitely concern over how her brains is developing - I will say that she has become extremely self-absorbed...although that's probably normal at that age. I'm not sure I'm helping by sharing the above but that's my experience. I agree it really comes down to what you're willing to deal with at home. I wish you luck.
Medication
I'm not for or against medication that's completely up to the person/parents what works for them. It's the lack of anything at all for 4 years. In sds original school they had no concerns for additional needs. In the uk if the school feels it necessary they will ask for an educational psychologist to do an assessment, they will speak to all adults involved in the child's care and make a decision on the best course of action. That didn't happen. If a parent has concerns they can speak to the school the gp or a paediatrician and they will order tests etc. That didn't happen. Bm paid a fortune for an adhd test doing which is not normal in the uk at all. This is via word of mouth and nothing concrete no appointments since that until this 1 4 years after. Bm regularly puts things on social media attention seeking about how difficult it is to have a child with additional needs etc and loads of things that explain sds behaviour which sound absolutely nothing like my sd. It seems like BS but because I have never had a child with adhd it could be totally normal to pay for tests and have years between appointments
Like you I knew nothing about
Like you I knew nothing about adhd until my stepchild was considered to have it. He takes medication monitored by his pediatrician every three months to make sure it fits him. Usually adhd meds ruin appetite so making sure he is eating enough is a big thing. I don't agree with the other comment about it making tantrums worse. The best was for me to explain it is how I explained it to my skid: this medicine doesn't change who you are, it doesn't make you good or bad-YOU still make those choices. This medicine simply slows your brain down a little bit so you can THINK before you make a choice. (Impulse control) The only negative I've really noticed in the last 3 years he's been taking it (SS9) is that he can be emotional. He's sensitive and can be all over the place if he's really tired and hungry so we make sure he gets his recommend 12 hours of sleep and we make him eat breakfast before he takes his meds and dinner before he goes to bed. I can usually get him to snack on something too after school since I know he doesn't bother with the lunch.