How to deal with little lies?
My sd11 lies...a lot. Bm lies a lot too but that doesn't affect me or my children. Sd lies about things that there is zero reason to lie about. Eg 10pieces of chewed chewing gum on a shelving unit in a bedroom upstairs. I say who put that there? My kids say not me sd11 says not me, obviously someone is lying. I say whoever it was isn't in trouble they just need to clean it up and not do it again. Again not me, not me, not me. Now it's at a deliberately lying for no reason stage. Not to get out of trouble because there is no trouble, not for attention not for any of the usual reasons for lying.
I ask again and again. Say whoever it is needs to come forward and clean it because i certainly aren't. No one comes forward after an hour. I'm like right I'm going to take electronics from everyone until someone comes forwards. Now the culprit knows 2 other people are being punished for something they are doing. Again who dunnit? Not me, not me , not me.
Give them some time to come forward again and clean it to get their electronics back. Still nothing. Ask again by this point I'm mad because takes nothing to just say I did it sorry I'll clean it in the 1st place. After 4 hours she eventually says it was me. Dh asks her why she lied she shrugs. Dh cleans it and it's all over with again. This is just one example but there are loads. Wet tissue blocking the sink who dunnit can you please clean it? Obviously wasn't anyone hours later and after getting things taken off them she admits it and cleans it.
Over the weekend I got both sets of kids a scratch off bucket list. Sds is 100things to do with dad my own got 100 things to do with mum. One of the kids scratched part of one of the mum ones off. The whole who dunnit thing? No one obviously same scenario. She eventually comes forward shrugs it off.
Now my issue is that in most of these situations my children are also getting punished. These things don't usually happen when it's just my kids here and if they do something they usually just tell me so I didn't realise this was actually a thing.
Do I just let these things go? Clean up after whoever it was? Keep saying stuff and punishing my own kids even though I know it wasn't them? Just saying something to her makes me feel like I'm picking on her even though I know instantly that she's lying by her face? I can tell when my own kids aren't being truthful too. It's just over really small silly things that honestly do not matter so I'm thinking just clean it up myself and save myself the hassle?